Pregnancy after loss part 2

[LER2023]

After the lovely Hopingrae had created such a wonderful thread.

I wanted to carry this on, as many more women need that added extra support.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1

Hope everyone can find some support on this thread x

Hello - sorry I only seem to come on here when things go wrong.

I'm 17+2 and have felt movement since 16 weeks. Friday movements were really strong. Yesterday I went to the beach with my son. As I was alone I had 2 bags a bucket and spade and couldn't carry a parasol. I thought I put factor 50 on everywhere but after 4 hours in the midday sun I realised I must have missed my right shoulder - terrible burn. I don't seem dehydrated and don't seem to have heat stroke symptoms which from googling are the things which could harm your baby and not sunburn itself.

But I can't feel movement and I was lying focussing all evening and now up in the night

I'm trying to tell myself it's early to rely on feeling movement and mb baby is in an odd position with feet below the pelvic line where I won't feel.

But I'm so freaked out. I will go to the hospital tomorrow morning, posting on here in case anyone experienced similar in this early stage of quickening?

:(

Love to you all

@Orlahoping - just read you're going through a subchorionic haematoma - I had one that bled out at 13+2 and I went straight to a + e terrified I was losing baby. Baby was absolutely fine. The bleeding lasted about 10 days and at the end was on and off. Main bleed happened straight away at the beginning xxx

Also want to ask one more thing - ever since implantation I've felt where baby was implanting. First trimester right up until a couple of weeks ago it was an almost constant dull ache on my right hand side in a specific spot. Now it's mainly gone but sometimes I get dull achey pains in that area for a minute.

I'm sure it's nothing to worry about but has anyone else had this? Makes me worry the placenta hasn't attached securely or something. Sometimes if I roll over at night it happens...

Thank you for sharing. This sounds similar to my experience so far. Have not had any more significant bleeding, mostly brown and pink spotting. Have my first NHS scan tomorrow (13+5!) so will ask them then if they can still see it. How many weeks are you now?

@MOGMOGMOG85
I burnt myself too 😭 but like you said I think unless it’s a really serious burn and you are unwell from it, it’s unlikely to do any harm!

on movements I think you need to do what you feel is right but from what I’ve read and from my appointments, a lot of people won’t get a pattern of movement until they are 25ish weeks.
I am almost 23 weeks with two so less room for them to manoeuvre and I still have really quite days. I think because they still have space it’s easy to get in a position where you might not feel anything.
my husband is still shocked when we go for scans and we see them wriggling around but I tell him I can’t feel it!!

Could that be one sided ligament pain? I have a couple of specific spots where I get pain if I move too fast etc...

@Orlahoping I'm 17+2 now. Last saw the baby at 13+2 when they did my 12 week scan after I came in for bleeding (I was also booked for 13+5!) and they didn't see anything there, but I still continued spotting for 10 days - like you not fresh red blood. I think as long as there is nothing within the pregnancy sac they are not concerned that it's any threat to baby.

I heard the heartbeat on Monday at a midwives appointment, and since then have felt strong movement and it's tapered off this weekend..

@30somethingttc thanks - I just saw your message! Thanks for sharing that you got burned too - I was unhelpfully telling myself that I'm the only pregnant woman stupid enough to get burned is me!

My 3 year old is being so demanding and when we were getting ready for the beach I got distracted just at the right shoulder mark! Theres clear lines and a white blob where the suncream went up to! But 4+ hours of straight midday summer sun has been a real bitch for that area! It's not as bad today thank goodness.

Hope yours heals up quickly too! Xx

I had my 12 week scan today, and baby was doing well, measuring 13W5D, due NYD (not that they ever come on due dates).

The SCH is still there and got measured at 3cm...the last scan didn't measure it but it looks like it hasn't changed in size. No more bleeding yet but the fear of it happening has really put a damper on any excitement. I'm just a walking anxious mess, despite none of the medical professionals I have spoken to being worried about it

Good news @Orlahoping!
I had lots more bleeding and passed a massive clot over the weekend (still an inpatient) then a scan this morning showing my haematoma had passed (likely the clot). Praying the bleeding tapers off today and I can get home tomorrow.

That sounds really promising! Did it just disappear from the scan? How are you feeling? Hope they have been looking after you well

Yea it wasn't there anymore and the consultant reckons the clot that I passed was the one seen on the scan previously. Then they're saying that area of bleeding which caused that clot could heal (as long as I do very little!) hence the bleeding tapering off.

Did anyone have spotting around the 5-6 week mark? I’m 5+3 and just wiped some pink before bed. It’s light pink and not very much but now I’m terrified 😔

@purplecolouroffunk So sorry you're scared, I've had spotting in successful and unsuccessful pregnancies. If you can, I'd hold onto until 6 weeks then get a scan, they will be able to see more then. I fully know the fear, sending you a hug x

@warmbutteredtoast thank you. I had it back in April before my MMC but I still have no idea if the spotting was related to the MMC or not.

Will definitely give the EPU a call and try to get a scan after 6 weeks. It's a bit less this morning and sort of mixed with CM, but still worrying.

@purplecolouroffunk Yeah never nice to have spotting but it can be totally ok so try not to assume the worst x

@purplecolouroffunk I had spotting just before 8wks and it panicked me. Had again at 11wks and a small bleed with clots at 14. Each time I was convinced of the worst. Hard not to be after loss isn't it. BUT it can be very normal and just one of those things. So keeping everything crossed for you that all is fine this time round.

Hi lovelies,

I feel like I only come on here when I feel anxious or worried. I have had two miscarriages in the space of 16 weeks and have fell pregnant again very soon after the 2nd, now I obviously feel grateful that we’ve managed to catch so soon after it took 3 years to conceive the first one that lead to a mc, I have my first scan on Friday, I decided to hold out until around 7ish 8 weeks for the first scan for mental reasons really, now the scan is fast approaching I am petrified, I feel myself reliving those horrors and am so scared that they’ll say the baby stopped growing or hasn’t grown or hearts stopped. And the scary part is so far with this pregnancy I haven’t had any cramps or spotting which is actually a positive thing for me as never not had issues, my body is almost giving me hope because of how it’s making me feel etc but I’m scared that it’s just the progesterone which is keeping my symptoms alive and the spotting from occurring. I just don’t know if I can have the scan but I know I need to for my own mental state of mind to know the situation

@Rockyslife I was just like that before my first scan at 8 weeks. I couldn't rest for the week before hand. I have no real advice other than I just tried to take some comfort in the fact that time would pass regardless 😹. One thing I did to try and feel like I was in control was email the private scan place explaining how anxious I was and how I didn't want the screen on at the beginning of the scan. It helped a little. I have since had 4 more scans, and the anxiety was bad each time. Now 14 weeks and baby looking good (but I have a haematoma which caused a scary bleed last week!).

Oh, and was also on progesterone and had similar worries...

@Orlahoping Hey, did you find it helped not having the screen on? I feel like the silence of rooting around is the hardest part you just want them to speak straight away and it’s horrible. Luckily the early pregnancy unit are scanning me and the lady who has been giving me bereavement counselling is gonna have a chat with me before I go in and has said she will come in with me if I would like her too I might need her to get me in the room as I don’t know if I can do it. Did you find that the progesterone gave your more hope with this pregnancy? I just hope it’s not the progesterone masking a miscarriage. I’m so pleased that you’re at 14 weeks and baby is looking good, I pray the hemotoma goes away as soon as possible for you as they’re so frightening aren’t they x

@Rockyslife my sonographer was SO understanding (have seen her 3 times since!) and she took about 3 seconds to tell me "there's a heartbeat". I found it helpful, she really guided me and explained beforehand she would confirm as fast as she could but there was a chance it would need to be a vaginal scan (it wasn't fortunately). The screen off helped because I just didn't want to see a lifeless embryo again. Fortunately I didn't have to.

I don't know if the progesterone helped, but it felt more secure being on it. I did have one TINY episode of spotting at 9 weeks but nothing like the spotting I had last time (which was likely unrelated to the loss).

I also hope my SCH clears up soon. It's making me super anxious!

Best of luck to you, rooting for you and your little bean 💓

Thank you @warmbutteredtoast and @SnookyPook.

I called the EPU and explained I had some spotting again. They've booked me in for a scan tomorrow morning. I'm absolutely terrified. I'll be 5+5 tomorrow and I wasn't anticipating having to go in for a scan this early, had a private one booked for 8 weeks.

I'm so so worried I'll be in that limbo place again, cause I'm so sure they really won't be able to see much apart from a sac at 5+5. The EPU nurse said that it's more to check everything is in the right place, and depending on what they see to do blood tests.

Guys I'm so scared. Any advice for a scan this early?

@Rockyslife @purplecolouroffunk bless you both - those early scans are horrid and so anxiety provoking. I almost fainted waiting to go in for mine.

Personally I found it helpful to try and focus on being a bit fatalistic. The wheels were already in motion for whether it would be a viable pregnancy or not and the scan would simply reveal that to me where I had previously been ignorant. I thought of it as my 'Schroedingers baby' - both there and not there until observed. Nothing can detract from the devastation of loss but I felt a bit more calm about it accepting that what will be will be (and indeed, possibly, what is, already is, I just don't know it yet). It sounds very blasé and it honestly wasn't but it did help me a little bit to focus on the randomness of it all.

I also decided to try and enjoy as much as possible every moment where I believed I was pregnant and that things were going ok. Without reason to expect the worst there is no need to focus on the fear of that (easier said than done - especially after MMC where it's hard to trust your own body). So I talked to little bean and would thank them for still being with me that day and told them I would love them for as long as they could stick around and hopefully I would meet them properly one day but if not, thank you for being part of my story.

It all sounds daft really but whatever helps you through moment to moment. The scans are a snapshot of time, and a great moment to pause and regroup. They only reveal to you what already is. Take some deep breaths, try to find a calm place in yourself. Talk to your little one if it helps. And then hopefully enjoy confirmation that so far, all is well. 💗

Does anyone have any experience of UTIs? I went to the docs this morning because of excessive urinary frequency. The only thing showing on dipstick was minimal blood, but that could be from my vagina because of the SCH. I had a slightly elevated temperature. Have been given antibiotics whilst I wait for outcome of urinalysis. I don't want to take antibiotics for no reason, but I also don't want to risk getting worse if I do have an infection. Now I have typed that out I realise I should just bite the bullet and take them right? It's not going to cause any harm to take them if it turns out I don't need them?

@purplecolouroffunk I’ve had spotting in successful and unsuccessful pregnancies! And for you and @Rockyslife, remember that the fate of this baby is already set out in the stars and there’s very little you can do to influence it. I found taking the control off me very helpful. I also explained my anxiety to the sonographer who was very good at giving me a read out of whether things looked ok or not, as quickly as possible. Fingers crossed for you 🤞

@Orlahoping in your shoes I would take them. I’ve definitely got something going on - possibly persistent thrush (TMI much!) or a UTI and have finally sucked it up and got a GP appt for tomorrow, even though I’ve been putting off any intervention!