Pregnancy after loss part 2

[LER2023]

After the lovely Hopingrae had created such a wonderful thread.

I wanted to carry this on, as many more women need that added extra support.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1

Hope everyone can find some support on this thread x

Thanks @purplecolouroffunk ❤️ I’ve got to 17 weeks with this pregnancy so far 🤞

Progesterone doesn’t stop a MC or a MMC as I understand it, but it does support your body to make the placenta as a pregnancy develops. It’s typically prescribed I think if you’ve had a pregnancy loss and have had some bleeding or spotting in a current pregnancy. I think I’ve read somewhere on here of women seeing a private GP to get a progesterone prescription if they can’t access it on the NHS - but that’s typically when they feel sure they need progesterone.

I hope someone else in Scotland might be able to recommend a private place for you to get a scan that’s more medical. Could it be worth you calling your EPU and explaining and asking if there’s somewhere they’d recommend?

That’s incredible news @Wise0wl, so so happy to hear that! How has it been for you? Did you have any early spotting?

Thanks for the info. I think if my spotting comes back I’ll definitely ask for some progesterone. I have private health insurance through work so could always go down that route if I need to.

It’s just all so nerve wracking. Last time I had spotting from about 2dpo all the way until I found out about my MMC. I never found out if it was likely related to the MMC or not - I stupidly forgot to ask the EPU/Drs in the midst of all the horribleness.

Good plan - hopefully someone can recommend somewhere 🙂

@purplecolouroffunk a bit like @Wise0wl I was under my EPU for this pregnancy due to 3 previous losses. They arranged my first scan for when I was 7+2 but when I had it I actually dated 6+2 - thankfully with a heartbeat. It was a bit worrying to measure 'behind' but reassuring to see the heartbeat. I definitely wouldn't put yourself through a scan earlier than 7wks if you are hoping for reassurance. That way, even if you ovulated/implanted a bit late, you should still see something more hopeful. I had fortnightly scans until my official 12wk, all through EPU.

As has been mentioned before, the relief from these is always temporary but I did find comfort in marking those milestones and being able to say that 'at least I know it's going ok so far'. Given my first loss was a MMC that my body didn't identify for a month, it was comforting to know if it was another loss, I wouldn't have to get all the way to my official 12wk scan oblivious. Whilst terrifying and anxiety-provoking to get through the scans, it felt like a need for me a that point and I'm glad I had them. I can absolutely see why this option does not appeal to some women though. It's a very personal thing and only you can know which would be most helpful to you. 💕

@SnookyPook thank you! I’m so sorry to hear about your journey - 3 losses is devastating. I’m so glad to hear about your current pregnancy though 💜

Tbh I think I’m one of those people who will need the reassurance this time round. It’s just a shame that I won’t have support from the EPU 😞 I would absolutely rather find out early if things aren’t going to go well. It was the only saving grace from my loss, that I found out at 6 weeks and didn’t have to wait until a 12 week scan.

When I do need to book a private scan I think I’d go for somewhere around 8 weeks, but it feels such a long time to potentially not know that something is wrong.

@purplecolouroffunk unfortunately after loss we are primed to be worrying about what might be going wrong and constantly thinking the worst. However, it is still the case that generally, if no bleeding or other signs, there is no reason to think the worst. I had to keep reminding myself that whilst true that I didn't know something might be wrong, I also didn't know that it might all be going fine. It is really tough mentally to balance all those thoughts and emotions and the first trimester is particularly gruelling! But if you can, try to enjoy moments of joy and hope too. I tried to let myself feel excited and I decided early on that my approach would be to celebrate the pregnancy for as long as it continued. That way, even if it ended in another loss, I would have at least taken joy from my little bean for as long as it was with me. We think that by ignoring all hope etc we are protecting ourselves from further pain should the worst happen, but of course we would still be devastated regardless.

That said, I know it's far easier said than done, and believe me, I've had plenty of wobbles! Just be gentle with yourself and ride all the ups and downs 💗

Thanks @purplecolouroffunk. I’ve had spotting in 3/4 pregnancies, I didn’t for my first MMC, but did for my first pregnancy (which was successful), my second MMC and this current one. Spotting is common but not normal, but it doesn’t necessarily signify something bad. This time round they can’t work out where it’s coming from so have assumed cervical ectropian. The early weeks are really hard so do whatever you need to do to get through them, and you’ve got lots of good support here! X

@SnookyPook thank you. I like that way of thinking. I need to remind myself that this is a completely different pregnancy so it doesn’t mean history is going to repeat itself. I’d say the main feeling is cautious optimism, with a sprinkling of anxiety here and there. I’m trying to stay hopeful otherwise I’ll just totally bog myself down with bad feelings.

It sounds silly but so many women on Mumsnet have sadly had recurrent loses that it almost makes me think I will too. But I try to keep those bad thoughts away as much as I can.

@Wise0wl that’s interesting about the spotting. I’ve just never been able to figure out what the common denominator is with both luteal spotting and pregnancy spotting, it drives me nuts. In my previous preg cycle I had a 7dpo progesterone test and it was fine, so clearly not that.

But right now I’m just so happy that I don’t have any spotting cause it dominates so much of my cycle usually!

So glad to have you all here for support 💜

Morning ladies.

Just as I settled into this pregnancy and kept my anxiety under control during what was my loss gestation last time I have been dealt another anxious blow I feel.

My DC have been diagnosed with slap cheek syndrome which I was told is dangerous in pregnancy particularly my stage of 14 weeks. I stupidly then googled and I've got myself into a panic.

I lost my last baby between 12 and 16 weeks so I was already on tender hooks during this stage.

Awaiting a callback from midwife who is going to check my booking on bloods for any immunity - if there is none I'll need close monitoring, of there is some I will need further bloods to see if I've had further exposure and then potentially more monitoring.

It can cause miscarriage and issues with the pregnancy.

World feels a bit unfair this morning.

@DaringlyDizzy the world is utterly u fair for you aswell. Gutted to read your update and I hope all is going as well as it can be. Thinking of you xx

@OnNaturesCourse oh bless you that's the last thing you need. I've heard of so many cases lately - it seems to be everywhere. Will keep everything crossed for you that you come up with immunity. Even if not, I've seen a few threads lately of people having the monitoring etc and all being well. 🙏🏼 It's nerve-wracking anyway hitting sensitive milestones, let alone having added worries thrown in the mix. Maybe it's worth mentioning to the midwife that you would also appreciate a little extra MH support at the mo as you navigate through this? Sending you a big hug and please keep us posted if you feel able. Have you any more scans or appointments booked in at the mo? Xx

Morning ladies, does anyone else have to go to the loo at least every half an hour ( 6 weeks ) my body hurts when I wake up and it’s not like a normal wee you can hold I literally have to go, but then there’s not loads of urine so I don’t get the urgency! Sorry for the tmi. I am dropping a sample in later but just wondered if anyone else has this?

I had this and it turned out to be a urine infection, once I had my dose of antibiotics I was absolutely fine! Fingers crossed for you that you get it sorted x

Definitely sounds like cystitis, basically a low urine infection. It's not pleasant!

Hi all. I have barely posted but have been an avid reader during my first trimester. After a great 11 week scan just under 2 weeks ago I woke up with cramping and watery blood gushing down my legs. Not feeling hopeful - we have come home from our holiday in France and have a scan in about an hour. I was just starting to hope all would be well. I know other things can cause bleeding but my only experience of pregnancy so far has been loss.

@Orlahoping I am so sorry to read this. Huge luck for your scan, I hope everything is ok. And know that there’s a brilliant group of supportive women here regardless of the outcome. Did you have to leave your holiday early? It must have been so worrying to be abroad. X

@Wise0wl thank you ❤️. Yes, we did leave early because I just didn't fancy trying to advocate for myself in French. Shame, but if it's the worst I want to be at home. I have been pregnant for 6 months out of the last 8 and am exhausted...

@Orlahoping so sorry to hear this - what a scare for you. I had a bleed at 13+4 - clots included - and had to wait all weekend for a scan at 14wks. Was an awful wait and I was convinced of the worst but thankfully was proven wrong. Still no idea what it was and thankfully that was the last bleed I've had. Keeping everything crossed for a similar outcome for you. 🙏🏼🤞🏼💕

Thanks @SnookyPook. I am sure you understand how hard it is to not be convinced of the worst! Only half an hour to go, so grateful at least I don't need to ensure a long wait

@Orlahoping I get the exhaustion - I’ve been pregnant for 8 of the last 12. I’ve had some sort of spotting/bleeding in 3/4 of my pregnancies, but it’s so hard not to think the worst. Keep us posted and I’ve got everything crossed

It is a subchorionic haematoma, thank goodness. Felt blood gushing out of me as I was walking into the scan, so really was in a state

@Orlahoping I am so relieved it wasn’t what you feared!

@Orlahoping oh I'm so glad to hear this!! What a scare for you! Will you have to go back to have it monitored at all or are they happy to leave it be? So glad little one is still fine in there 💗💗💗

@Orlahoping oh thank goodness!! I'm so so glad to hear it's a hematoma. God what a relief that must have been for you, and what an awful fright 💜

@SnookyPook they said it was very small, no need to monitor. This was a private scan (seen the same sonographer 4 times in this pregnancy so far...). I will have my official NHS scan on Monday so will ask them about it then. Was measuring 12w6d, which means I will be 13w5d by then hopefully. I am not sure how long I can expect to bleed for, but it's still going. I guess the blood thinners don't help (have stopped taking them for now).

So pleased to read it wasn’t anything more sinister x