Pregnancy after loss part 2

[LER2023]

After the lovely Hopingrae had created such a wonderful thread.

I wanted to carry this on, as many more women need that added extra support.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1

Hope everyone can find some support on this thread x

@Mamaxo yay! So happy to hear this ☺️💗

@Rockyslife I had 3 losses last year and am currently at 32+3... It's definitely possible to have a successful pregnancy after recurring losses. Appreciate the chromosomal issues adds another dynamic for you. Sending lots of good vibes and hope this is your rainbow baby 💗🌈🙏🏼

@DaringlyDizzy 🙏🏼 so sorry you've got this worry to deal with. Sending love and good vibes 💗

I’ve never experienced this so I’m hoping you ladies can give me some advice/experience comments hahaha

im currently 7dpo and we’re actively trying of course.

im having some pain in my lower tummy.. never had this before a period is due, I’m due on in 8 days!
Ive gone to the loo and I’ve got bloody discharge?

is this a sign? Or am I out this month?😬

So pleased @Mamaxo!

@Rockyslife I’ve had two MMCs, one July and one December last year. I’m currently 16+5 and have everything crossed this pregnancy works out. The only thing that helped me through the early weeks was knowing that basically the fate of my pregnancy was already mapped out in its DNA, there was really nothing I could do to impact it. Somehow that powerlessness made it easier to deal with. It’s hard, I know - all your hopes and fears are wrapped up in one.

🤞 for Monday @DaringlyDizzy

@LER2023 unfortunately I don’t know! I’ve had so much spotting that I have no concept of what’s ‘normal’. I really hope it’s a good outcome for you 🤞

Is that spotting then? ive never had it, i dont even know what it is😂
all i know is im having a little bit of cramping and some blood in my discharge😬

@LER2023 oooohhh could it be implantation bleeding 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

@LER2023 spotting is - in my experience anyway! A bit of pink/brown blood when I wipe when I go to the loo, or a bit in my discharge. I’ve had it at all stages in successful and unsuccessful pregnancies but that does include a bit around implantation too 🤞

nah I’m definitely out.
ive come on properly, after 2 weeks🥺😭

kind of bored of coming on every 2 weeks!! Never knowing when I’m ovulating and then just constantly bleeding tbf, I’ve had backache and cramping this time which is unusual.

Hello all

I had my booking in app yesterday and the bleeding increased ten fold so asked the EPU to bring my scan back. Confirmed heartbeat had stopped. So its a D and C with Gas and Air for me on Thursday. Im nervous about it as ive refused general anaesthetic so if anyone who has experience of the procedure, please do PM me

@DaringlyDizzy So so sorry to hear that, thinking of you, how utterly rubbish. I've not had a D&C with gas and air but did have it for stitches after birth and found it amazing for pain relief x

@DaringlyDizzy oh I'm so sorry to hear that 😞 no experience to share I'm afraid but will they scan you again beforehand? If you've been bleeding lots already and another few days to wait there is a chance you will have passed it all before then? Mine only took 3 days - my pre-op scan confirmed it had all gone so they cancelled the surgery. Sending you a big hug. 💕

Thank you both xx

Yes they will scan be beforehand x

Im not passing any clots so I don't think itll have passed and the bleeding is getting lighter again. I really hope it passes by itself

Currently waiting for a scan this afternoon. I’m 6w6d and woke up with bright red bleeding and cramps. I don’t think it’ll be good news sadly x

@LacedBouquet Wishing you a positive scan, bleeding isn't always a miscarriage, hope you have good news

I’m so sorry @DaringlyDizzy. I’ve not had a D&C, but I hope someone comes with more info for you. I hope you have lots of love and support around you x

@LacedBouquet sorry to see your update. Hope the scan brought better news than you were expecting. 💕 So sorry that so many of you are going through tough times and further losses. It's such a tough journey. Just in case it brings comfort to anyone, I can't quite believe that I dealt with 3 losses last year and am now on the home straight with our rainbow. Things really can turn around when you least expect. Sending love and hope to you all 💗

@DaringlyDizzy i didn’t have it under local but in March I had d and c under general. Afterwards I was really tired utterly exhausted but I think that was more the anaesthetic. I had mild cramps and aches in my tummy but nothing that some painkillers couldn’t sort. Mild bleeding for about 10 days. For me the worst was my first period, it came exactly 28days after I stopped bleeding but it was horrific, in one night I changed my towel 4 times and it was still running down my leg (huge apologies).

I had mine under general anaesthetic and it was honestly fine. When I woke up (very tired from the meds) I had little cramping and barely bled for about a week. When my first period came it was also very light, then the 2nd one was ‘normal’. I had no dramas. Hope it goes well for you x

Hi all, hope noone minds if I join the thread? Got my bfp on Wednesday and am so nervous. I'm 4+4 from LMP but ovulated early so probably a week ahead of that. Just looking for people who get it, really.

@MrsKaty of course! Welcome! And gentle congratulations on your BFP 😊 Do you think you'll get an early scan at all?

@DaringlyDizzy I am so sorry to read your news. I really hope you’re doing okay as you can be and have good support around you. I’m sending you love 💜

I’ve not had air and gas, but I did have a D&C under general back in April. I was really really nervous about the anaesthetic particularly but it was actually so much less scary than I ever imagined. They give you a strong painkiller (which just relaxes you, nothing crazy) just before you go under and then you just drift to sleep really quickly. Before I knew it I was awake again in the recovery ward. I think I was only actually under for about 15 mins.

Everyone was so kind and gave me so much info and kept reassuring me all the way. I think the benefit of the general is that you don’t have to see or hear what’s happening. I know that sounds scary but I found it really important in protecting me from it all.

I had some quite intense bleeding immediately after but very little pain (only a few small cramps that’s paracetamol helped). By the time I got home the bleeding had calmed down and I bled pretty lightly for about 4 days.

My period came back after about 5 weeks and was a mega period. Which although was horrible at the time, in a weird way felt cleansing or something cause it must have been all the lining coming out.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it’s such a tough process. If it’s any help I actually found the physical side of it the easiest bit to deal with.

Please feel free to DM me if you want to chat or have any questions 💜

Those of you who have had a pregnancy after a loss, did you book a private scan?

I’m really not sure what to do. Before my MMC I had spotting so I went to the EPU and found out the news there. This time I haven’t spotted past about 10dpo so don’t think I can warrant visiting the EPU again.

We were thinking about booking a private scan for around 7-8 weeks but that feels soo far away given I’m only 4 weeks. But if I go too early I’m worried they won’t see anything or dates are more likely to be off, and I’ll panic (after my MMC my dr recommended not to go before 7-8 weeks). I also hate the idea of being given bad news at a private place rather than the NHS.

What have you guys done? Are the private places okay generally? Any recommendations for places? 💜

Thank you. I don't think I will get an early scan, just because I find scans utterly traumatising at this point. Also, my NHS trust won't offer me one unless I have a bleed, so I'd have to pay and I've heard some real horror stories about private scans.

Welcome @MrsKaty and gentle congratulations 😊

@purplecolouroffunk For the early part of this pregnancy I was under my EPU, as a result of two previous MMCs my GP told me to self-refer back to the EPU to request progesterone pessaries. EPU wouldn’t prescribe until they’d checked it was viable (I delayed until 6+5 at which point a heartbeat was seen), and then booked me scans every fortnight until 12 weeks. My first MMC was detected at a private scan (truly terrible experience and I wouldn’t want to repeat it) and my second I’d had two scans at EPU showing good growth and heartbeat, but no heartbeat at the third scan.

I suppose the reason I’ve typed all that out is that I felt I needed the scans to breakdown the first trimester into more manageable milestones - and enable me to take quicker action if it wasn’t ok - but each scan only gave me momentary reassurance. If you do want a scan and wouldn’t be able to get one at EPU, I can recommend a private place that is more medical than gender reveal, if you’re in striking distance of London, if that would be helpful.

Thank you for sharing @Wise0wl. I’m so sorry to hear about your two experiences, they sound so tough and I can definitely empathise.

I feel worried because I know I won’t get any support from my EPU automatically cause I’ve only had one MC. So I feel like that leaves me with no choice but to go to a private place.

Sadly I’m up in Scotland so wouldn’t be able to get to London. We have a few up here but they all seem to be those ‘chain’ type ones like Window to the Womb etc.

Did they say if the progesterone pessaries can help to stop an MMC? Or are they more to help prevent natural miscarriages?