Pregnancy after loss part 2

[LER2023]

After the lovely Hopingrae had created such a wonderful thread.

I wanted to carry this on, as many more women need that added extra support.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1

Hope everyone can find some support on this thread x

Oh for sure. It’s the most mentally draining and all consuming thing to go through… just waiting x

Thank you and when you see it like that, you can help BUT get your hopes up! X

Hello 👋🏻
it’s so lovely to have this support network isn’t it.
so sorry for your losses and I really hope this is your sticky rainbow x

@LauraJean1983 Thank you! Wishing you a healthy sticky baby

Hello - don't know who else to talk to. I had a private dating scan at 11+2 and all was well - my nhs scan was booked Tuesday at 13+5 but I've woken this morning 13+3 bleeding. Sat in a and e waiting now.

I'm not in pain (the slightest ache maybe) but woke as usual needing the loo at 4am - felt damp, somehow when going downstairs felt my abdomen is less pressurised if that makes sense. Noticed my bladder was less pressurised when i went for a wee if that makes sense, then noticed watery blood in loo then went to get my husband and saw a football sized pool of watery blood in bed.

I'm sat here now slowly leaking - not much if I'm honest just this slow dampness. I have a history of PPROM so I just feel that the waters have gone. And so early.

Send me your best wishes, I don't know what lies ahead of me and I don't know how I'll cope with something like this..

Love to you all

Hope you're treated well in A&E and that it's not the worst case you're fearing.
Will be thinking of you today, hope you get sent straight to Gynae for a thorough check. Stay strong.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I’m so sorry, I have no answers but I’m thinking of you and have my fingers crossed 🤞 xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 I'm so sorry you're going through this, how worrying for you. Sending strength and love your way. I hope A&E are helpful and are able to give some reassurance xxx

@MOGMOGMOG85 so very sorry to hear this and really hoping you are wrong about PPROM 😔 Hope you get some reassurance today. Sending you lots of love. 💗

Thanks so much everyone. Just a quick update as I'm exhausted but they couldn't see anything wrong and no idea what the bleed was about. This is the best news we could have.

Thanks so much all xxx

Hello lovely, how are you? I really hope you’re ok.xx

Hope you’re doing ok lovely! It’s so shit that you’re having to go through this. Glad they’ve come back with some good news though. Keep us posted xx

Ah this sounds positive. Ah I wish pregnancy was this happy, carefree time that we’re all already to believe it is! It’s not is it- it’s the opposite. Glad you got good news xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 I’m so glad, rest up x

Thanks everyone. What a rollerxoaster.

The nurse said to me anxiety is so common in pregnancy she thinks it's almost like were designed that way. She also told me off for being off my sertraline and said my mental health is most important. She also sympathised with me on my past experiences and said that an unplanned caesarean can cause a kind of grief. She made me feel so normal and that there will be help and support this time..

Not conveyed what she said very well but thought I'd let you all know she essentially validated our anxiety as normal..

Xxx

@MOGMOGMOG85 so happy to hear that all was ok and also that you got such a lovely reassuring nurse - it makes such a difference when someone like that validates you and normalises your experience a little. Really hope that is the last bit of drama for you!! Also hope this means you will be able to now enjoy your scan on Tuesday. 💗

@MOGMOGMOG85 what an experience, definitely a roller-coaster! I'm so glad you got a understanding nurse, it makes all the difference when our anxiety is sky high. Hoping this is the last time baby gives you a fright and it's plain sailing from here 🤞🏻

How's everyone doing this Monday morning?

@MOGMOGMOG85 glad everything's okay bless you, must of been terrifying xx
@OnNaturesCourse pretty good I'm coming up to 12 weeks now positive scan at 10 weeks so actually think this is happening I'm getting excited 😂 and symptoms are relaxing accept tiredness, how are you? Xxx

@OnNaturesCourse well... Update from me... Had our most recent growth scan on Friday. Baby is fine but there is some slowing of overall growth rate. Now going to have bi-weekly (!!) scans from this week of blood flow etc and my next growth scan in a fortnight as previously booked in. At the next growth scan, if similar pattern, it may be that they would be looking to get him out around 33/34wks...! However, it is still completely up in the air and there is a chance his growth picks up again in which case we would be aiming for probably delivery around 37/38 wks. In either scenario it's all sounding ridiculously close and a bit overwhelming (I'm 30wks today).

They also stressed I need to be straight in if any concerns about movements etc and to trust my Mummy instincts if anything feels off... This was a bit triggering in terms of the implications and what they were trying not to say (although actually no different to what they say to any of us I guess, it just felt like there was added weight to it like they might expect it or something).

Meanwhile, I'm to get as much rest as possible without being sedentary (🤷🏼‍♀️🙃😂) I'm ok but just feeling a bit overwhelmed... It's lots to take in... contemplating possibly having a tiny baby here within a month and all that entails, no idea what/when things might happen, paranoid in case my Mummy instincts don't pick up on something vital... Eurgh. 😌 BUT the positives... At the scan he was looking fine. Amniotic fluid normal, BP fine, blood flow in umbilical cord etc good...

After my losses last year I think I'm just finding the added concerns a bit much and just hoping he gets here safely. I've already spoken to my midwife about some extra support with slightly heightened anxiety etc so hoping that will come through soon... Oof!

Anyway, first of the extra Doppler scan things tomorrow so hopefully all will be looking fine. I'm meant to be working today and spent most of the morning contemplating moving my Mat Leave start date earlier and how best to use the AL etc and concocting an email for my boss to explain I might be gone within 3 weeks or possibly 2 months, nobody quite knows 😂

@MOGMOGMOG85 so pleased to hear all ok, what a relief.

@SnookyPook I'm sorry you've got these new worries to sit with and digest. Good that little man looking fine in general 💜 and sounds like they're really on the case with monitoring. That's good. But a lot on your shoulders, right. So well done for asking midwife for some extra support, I hope that comes through soon and is helpful! I've also been referred to perinatal MH team, got a triage assessment on Thursday. It's funny some days I think I'm ok but then others feel quite overwhelmed with anxiety/panic...I was in 2 minds but hoping it can only be a good thing to get some help pre baby. It's amazing how much extra vulnerability pregnancy can bring xx

Hi all, happy Monday! I have a reached a bit of a milestone this week, 9 weeks today. I started spotting at 8 weeks last time and baby measured 9+2 when it had stopped growing. Whilst it's encouraging that I have reached this milestone now, I am more anxious than I have ever been this pregnancy. I am analysing every single time I go to the toilet and wipe, and imagining that my discharge is a little bit brown. I still haven't had an early scan, but feel more and more like I want one but I am so terrified of it being bad news, I am enjoying living in my bubble at the moment being blissfully unaware. It would have also been my baby's due date this weekend, so my emotions are all over the place. I want this to work out so so badly and I am just always anticipating the worst.

Well maybe I am not imagining things after all, I just went to the toilet and wiped and my discharge was kind of yellow? I am worried it's the start of brown discharge which is exactly how my MC started. I am freaking out 😞

@Hopingrae thank you my lovely! Glad to hear that you've reached for some additional support too. It's so important. It is a very vulnerable thing to do but worth it I think. We are already carrying so many extra worries after previous losses I guess it's understandable that little things might tip us into needing that extra support!

@SunflowerDream I'm so sorry that you're going through so much anxiety right now. I think all of us on here can absolutely relate. Particularly with you hitting such a delicate milestone - that is always a really tough time. I would gently suggest that it might be time for that scan. You're terrified of the worst regardless and it is either going to reassure you, or confirm your fears, which, whilst awful, if the worst has happened, burying your head in the sand won't change it. What I will say is that several of us have experienced spotting and bleeds, been absolutely terrified, and they haven't materialised into another loss. I had three instances in early pregnancy, one with full on clots. Never did get an explanation for it but it wasn't another MC. So remember, this is a different pregnancy and every chance of a different outcome. Sending you a massive hug and hope you get some reassurance soon. 💕

@SnookyPook so sorry you've got this extra worry. Good you've got some monitoring, and I hope you get some more support soon. I had loads of extra scans for growth and reduced movement at the end of my son's pregnancy and it is nice to see them so often! Really hope he continues to grow well until he's ready to come out

@SunflowerDream I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious. I've had yellow discharge and didn't think anything of it, I think it's one of the normal colours as long as there's no sign of infection. Maybe time to have a scan to relieve some anxiety?

@MOGMOGMOG85 Gosh that must have all been so stressful, so glad to hear baby is fine!

I'm 6+2 and worrying about lack of nausea... so weird to want to feel sick!