Pregnancy after loss part 2

[LER2023]

After the lovely Hopingrae had created such a wonderful thread.

I wanted to carry this on, as many more women need that added extra support.

Previous thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?page=1

Hope everyone can find some support on this thread x

Feeling guilty today, I've hardly left the house in a week been living in pyjamas done hardly anything, I'm trying to be kind to myself I'm pumped full of meds, metformin and progesterone, I'm having headaches and lightheadedness but anxiety has settled since having my 10 week scan. Feels so silly to be moaning about being lazy and feeling ugly lol there's so much bigger things to worry about but I'm just having one of them days, don't help I cry constantly at everything now 😂 sorry for the moan/rant xx

I think im definitely out this month! Officially in the 28 day cycle, I was 4 days late and I’ve just come on! I’ll be trying again after next cycle. Kind of a blessing in disguise really as we’re sorting the house out! We’re stripping it back to bare walls ready to be plastered and painting the stairs, so really would be a good job as it’s a lot of stretching involved!!

hope everyone’s doing ok!x

@Mamaxo oh don't feel bad (I know that's easier said than done!) if it wasn't for my other kids needing me on the school run I wouldn't have been out my PJs this week either. They had sports days yesterday so I was out the house all day and I'm FEELING it today. I ended up putting a movie on in my room for the toddler and having a nap next them.

My muscles ache from just walking and standing so much yesterday, I feel like I could sleep the day away.

Hi all,
hope you don’t mind me jumping on but I’ve read all of thread 1 and 2 and you’re such a supportive bunch.
I'm 5 weeks today, had 2 early MC in the last 10 months and I have an amazing 4 year old daughter (textbook pregnancy).
as with all of you, my emotions are through the roof and I’m anxious. My other half is trying to persuade against early private scan as it did the absolute opposite in the pregnancy after my daughter. 1st scan was inconclusive, then had another one and saw the heartbeat and then miscarried a couple of days later 😔
my brother and sister is law are also pregnant and she’s 2 weeks ahead of me and they had a scan today and heard heartbeat and I just pray I follow suit….
love to all of you 🫶🏻

Hi everyone, very sadly my pregnancy turned chemical. Up to yesterday I had good lines but they literally disappeared overnight to stark white and the digital to not pregnant.
I am very much hoping that I start to bleed very soon so I can start again. However I am anxious, as my MMC last year was discovered at 12 weeks when the embryo had died at 6 and showed no signs of wanting to leave!
I am hoping that the apparent complete absence of HCG will be noticed by my brain and things will get moving.
I dont know whether I have just been unlucky but I will try again although, to be honest I am, even after only two losses, starting to feel hopeless.

@Carportforme same here. I had a BFN on the digital today too 😢 Sorry for your loss.

Hi @LauraJean1983 and cautious congratulations. Have you been in touch with your EPU? After my first MMC they were happy to do an early viability scan for me and after my second I had regular scans with them. I found it really helpful and much more supportive than a private scan?

@Carportforme I’m so sorry, it’s so unfair. The ladies on this thread are so supportive if you want somewhere to share your worries with others who completely get it if you plan to TTC again when you’re ready: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/5022335-cd1-ttc-after-loss-carry-on-thread-3?page=30&reply=135655891

Thank you so much. I will hope over and have a read.

@Carportforme and that’s not to say that you’re not welcome here - you are! It can just be hard. I had two MMCs and am now (touch wood) almost 14 weeks. I was always told it’s a good sign your body can get pregnant even if not all pregnancies can work out (vs not being able to get pregnant). I hope you have the support you need and 🤞for a sticky baby soon x

Ahh thank you. I am so happy to hear you are doing well. Always lovely to hear these pieces of good news. Love stories of light after darkness. I am still hopeful. I very much agree with you re your thoughts on getting pregnant in the first place.

@Carportforme @DonnaWhat so sorry to hear of your losses. I had a CP four months after my MMC and the bleeding started the day after my test came up as 'not pregnant' so it was certainly a different experience to my MMC which my body held onto for a month after development had stopped. It is very disheartening but I also chose to see it as positive that my body recognised a non-viable pregnancy so quickly that time round. I even had one further loss after that but a year after my MMC I'm currently in third trimester with our rainbow boy. It's certainly been a rollercoaster year and if someone had told me beforehand what I'd be going through to get this second baby I don't think I would have thought myself able to cope. Sending big hugs and lots of love to you. Hopefully brighter days will be here again before you know it. 🙏🏼🌈

@LauraJean1983 welcome to the thread and congrats on your BFP! The early scan thing is such a personal choice. There are people for whom it helps to brace and face the music, and those for whom that just adds more anxiety. I think anecdotally, women who have experienced MMC often find some comfort in it because that feeling of not trusting your body to alert you to a loss is hard to get past and the agonising over what's happening in there. However, any relief also tends to be relatively short-lived so it just depends how helpful you think it will be. I would say just do what you feel you need to to get through. It is tough after loss - the first trimester particularly so. Also hard having someone close to you going through a similar stage of pregnancy. Really hope you both get your happy endings this time 💕

Thank you. I know I’ll have one because at least I’ll feel reassured for that little time. So glad to have found this thread x

So sorry for your loss. I’ve also had 2 losses and I understand how you feel. It’s taken me since October to conceive again and I also lost hope. Then I accepted and started a new job and got those 2 lines! I am really hoping for a sticky baby.
sending love x

I haven’t called them… I was under the impression I couldn’t until I’d had 3 losses? I will call them today- it’s worth a shot isn’t it. Thank you x

@LauraJean1983 welcome and congratulations on your BFP. My OH is also persuading me against getting an early private scan, I think he just sees it as a waste of money as he knows it isn't going to offer any real reassurance. I had a scan at 6+3, everything looked great and saw and heard the heartbeat, I still miscarried 3 weeks later. I know if I get the same this time round I won't feel reassured because it meant nothing last time. Still battling with whether to go for an early scan or not. My 12 week scan is now less than 4 weeks away, but that still feels like a lifetime away😭.

Hi everyone, I've been debating whether to join or not. I've been reading along for a while since I got my BFP at 3.5 weeks, it feels like a big step to actually say hello as I'm very nervous about another loss. I'm so so sorry to read of the ladies that have recently lost pregnancies, I've lost 3 babies and it's just the worst. Sending you hugs and strength.

I'm 5+5 today, exactly as it's IVF. I am so so thankful for this pregnancy, it will be my last whatever happens. I'm worrying about lack of symptoms, and that the symptoms I do have are from the shed load of progesterone I'm on!! I'm debating an early scan next week but not sure I will, all my losses were at 8-10 weeks after I'd seen heartbeats at 6&7 weeks so I don't think it will be very reassuring. I am feeling calmer than some of my other pregnancies, a bit more of an attitude of 'what's coming is coming'. Nothing like early pregnancy after loss is there, very thankful for this group and wishing you all safe happy pregnancies. Lovely to see some names on here a recognise from miscarriage groups as well xx

Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy!! Hopefully this is the one!!
I do want to say welcome to the thread, I know it’s really hard to get started on a thread, we’ve all been there and done it, we’ve all had to come on and say hello with a bit of background and it will bring some kind of feeling back. With this thread and the first, I feel like it’s nice to be able to speak to ‘complete strangers’ regarding how you feel.
really strange to say complete strangers when I feel like I’ve known everyone for years😅
I also want to say I’m so sorry for your previous losses. I hope you find some help and support from this thread, it’s hard being pregnant early you always feel like you’re on your own as nobody is ‘meant’ to know.
it’s a scary time, I hope your pregnancy goes really well this time. Think after a loss, whether it’s first or third, we all definitely deserve our rainbow babys x

Welcome @warmbutteredtoast - lovely to see you here, definitely know you from other threads. I really hope this is the one for you. Completely get how you're feeling - this is my 4th pregnancy after 3 losses in a row and I definitely had that kind of almost just going along and seeing what happens without expecting too much. Really hope this is your rainbow baby. 🙏🏼🌈

I’m fairly sure I’ll cave… can’t imagine going all the way to 12 weeks without. I was going to try to go via my EPU but because I have no pain/bleeding and less than 3 MC they won’t see me. I remember after my first MC my midwife told me there’s no ‘safe’ point in a pregnancy (ie after the 12 week scan) and it’s so true. So scary x

Thank you so much. It is so hard isn’t it. After my MMC last year and the subsequent surgery it took us 5 months to conceive again.
wishing you the very best this time.

I agree, until baby is safe in our arms we will be worried x

@LauraJean1983 Sorry your EPU won’t see you, the postcode lottery of maternity and pregnancy loss care is mind boggling. It’s so hard when the stats look good but you’ve experienced loss anyway, I’ve found some reassurance in this: https://datayze.com/miscarriage-chart (though don’t know a lot about how reliable the data is given all data around miscarriage is underreported!)

@LER2023 Thanks so much for the welcome!

@SnookyPook So nice to see you on this group, so pleased your pregnancy is going well! Thank you for your kind words xx

I’ve just done this and it says I have a 17.2% of miscarriage at 6 weeks and 2 days.

thats quite a low number considering!!

but like you said it’s just one of those, the data isn’t there because miscarriage is such a taboo subject🙄