September 2024 - Thread 6! 🐣🧡💛❤️

[Lillers]

New thread seeing as the other one is full! I’ll try to tag as many people as I can seeing as the other one is full so I can’t post a link…

@Fluffycavut good for you! Don't feel under pressure to take anything! I'm not taking meds (was on them for over 15 years and now been 4 years without.) like you say a bit of support is what you need! Do what's right for you! Feel free to message if you want to chat/vent etc x

When did anyone get their MatB1 out of interest? Did you have to chase?
Ive not told work yet but will need to asap due to teaching hours being allocated now 😳

@longingtobe23 i told work before receiving my mat1b form. And I got my form yesterday as I saw the midwife for some bloods out of chance I asked her for it. Otherwise it wouldn't have been until my 25 week appointment. They dont give it until after 20 weeks.

@longingtobe23 I will get mine at my 25 week appointment so I have submitted my work request and just need to send in the Matb1 when I get it as it will be after 25 weeks.

Gosh that’s a bit cheeky of them @SC126, some workplaces have refused to give paid leave / paternity leave if it’s not submitted by 25 weeks!

What has everyone told work about their 20 week scan? In terms of how long you’ll need for it, going in afterwards and so on? Even if all goes well I imagine I’ll have a bit of an adrenaline crash afterwards and I probably won’t get much sleep the night before, so will be exhausted, so I’m not sure what to tell them.

@Decaffe my 20 week scan only took 20 mins as luckily little man was compliant and I was the first appointment for the day so not waiting room backlog yet. However with my eldest we had to go for a walk and it all took ages. So I told work my appointment time and just said I'd be in when I'm done but can't guarantee a time. I do work at the hospital I'll be birthing in so this does make life easier 🤣 but basically your workplace has to just deal regardless, I would just give them a heads up that it could be a few hours especially with travel etc.

@Decaffe
https://www.acas.org.uk/your-maternity-leave-pay-and-other-rights/time-off-for-pregnancy-appointments

I scanned my letters with appointment info to the HR, made a written notification and that’s about it.
My scan took 15 minutes, I was seen on time, obviously account for travel time to and from hospital.

@Decaffe worth checking the maternity policy where you work. Mine stipulates that work must allow reasonable paid time off for all antenatal appointments. My scan was 9am this morning, but didn't get seen until 9:30am as those who went in prior to me ended up overrunning, which happened at 12 week scan for me also. Scan itself was maybe 10-15 mins but baby was co-operating nicely for all the measurements. I was back at my desk by 10:30am (although was desperately hoping I'd miss my 11am meeting!). I always block out a minimum of 2 hours for scans in my work diary, just in case. Then if it were to go over that for any reason I'd let my manager know.

@HRP1990 I priced a doula, she had no twin experience and not garda vetted then wanted to charge me more for night time. (I'm in ireland) although saying that, some private health insurers cover doula costs, mine unfortunately doesn't.
I then found a company that works with midwifes and its actually cheaper per hour to hire a midwife overnight so I'm going for that option. I'll prob do 1 night a week for a few weeks when my husband goes back to work.
@Cat2022 I totally get that, I'm so much slower and I was always the type of mum that would be up on the climbing frames! My girl is 3, I bought some extra large bubble wands and tray, it's been a godsend because we can do that, I can sit down and do it outside with her and she can work the tray herself! She runs after the bubbles and I can (kinda) chill! Trying to find ways to play with minimal effort....

I had my 20 week scan last week, the girls are doing great but I have been struggling with fatigue and heart palpation. I think I'll finish work sooner than I think :/ I only have 13 weeks left at most which is just crazy! Although officaly due date is still 3rd of September! I've lost so much time being sick with the flu and then knowing I'm not going full term
Husband is painting the room this weekend and we're getting the car seats sorted very soon. I have a mountain of washing to do too.

Has anyone refused to do something at work because of pregnancy yet? I put my foot down today and it felt good!
I was asked to cover a class that is literally hell - they are so poorly behaved and they make a sport out of how far they can push teachers before they break. I have no issue covering the odd lesson here and there, but this class is horrific. So I refused on the basis that my risk assessment requires me to be seated as much as possible, which I cannot do and effectively behaviour manage a challenging class (you’ve got to be able to see them and if you’re sitting, you just can’t). I told them that if anything happened to me while covering that class, I would probably be unlikely to come to work for the foreseeable in order to prioritise my health.

I felt like a bit of a dickhead doing it, but then when they said they’d changed it and I didn’t have to do it, it honestly felt amazing!

Aw how exciting @Martibum when you say 13 weeks at most that sounds soo soon! Be kind to yourself - you have a 3 year old and are carrying twins.. I’m not surprised you’re fatigued! I have 1, 2 year old and that’s more than enough right now!

A private midwife sounds ideal - I’d definitely consider that in your shoes! I’d just love someone to make me these lovely nutritious meals I keep seeing on Instagram, running me lovely herbal baths and generally take care of my wellbeing and recovery.. I just don’t know how realistic that is (obviously what we see on social media isn’t always the fact!) it also seems super American too.

@HRP1990 there is only 1 Doula in my area and yes she said she make dinner but for a fraction of the price I can order a Chinese 😂 there's some fancy pants cafes etc that do post paturm dinner boxes which I love the sound of. Theres also a local lady who does house visits for post paturm massage and she's very reasonable priced too. Did you see the 1 month confinement that's popular in Hong Kong? Its simular to doula but it just seems lovely.
when we decided to start trying to get pregnant, I started saving for post paturm help! It's the last time I'll experience this and after the shitshow from my daughters, I am taking charge 😆

@Martibum my nail technician is from Hong Kong and she told me about the “house service” when someone comes to your house and does all that, but there’s also post-partum “resorts” where you can go live in house with your baby and get taken care of. But she also said that maternity there is just 3 months…so that explains the service available I guess.

@Martibum @Xur Omg a post partum resort!? Where do I sign up? 😂

Postpartum dinner boxes and massages also sound ideal! I’m off to do some research whilst my daughters in bed lol

@Lillers yes, there's a few things I've refused to do. Such as work with patients who are agitated/aggressive or have been in the past. Working with patients with unknown history. Those with high risk of suicide (I'm not going to coroners on my maternity leave.) anything of additional stress. I'm not covering additional duties apart from my own.

Don't feel like a dick. Everyone tells me that me and baby come first. So do what you feel is right for you!

@HRP1990 https://www.babylove.com.hk/en/postnatal-care-center/

@Lillers yes I’ve refused to do a lot since I found out I was pregnant. Thankfully the team around me are absolutely amazing. I’ve really struggled during this pregnancy and I know my limitations most of the time. It’s really hard having a demanding job whilst growing a baby. It’s definitely important to advocate for yourself and your baby.

Thanks for the link @Xur I've just booked myself in to the Kowloon Shangri La, plan D for a month - yess to the massages and Michelin meals and 24hour help 😂😂 *in my dreams

I'm away at a conference for work tonight (in the UK), couldn't be bothered trekking out so ate in my hotel restaurant. In the end I couldn't finish my main course (it just wasn't hitting my pregnancy-nausea stomach right) and the waitress was so worried that I didn't like it or I wasn't happy even tho I kept being like "no no I'm just full, it's not you it's me" that in the end I had to be like "I'm pregnant!! Things just taste weird to me!" 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I had my first baby in Hong Kong, can confirm this is entirely normal. For the first 100 days the mother is supposed to rest and be waited on hand and foot! I had live in help because that's the only way to get legal childcare / help around the house in Hong Kong - illegal for helpers to live out. It was my only option if I wanted to continue working as needed someone to look after my baby (had to go back to work when she was 2.5 months old or quit...). Culturally it felt weird at first but I soon got used to it! During maternity leave I did all the baby stuff myself though as am conditioned to do this, I then negotiated full time wfh which was granted only due to it being covid times and babies were being separated from mothers so loads of horror stories in the press

Maternity leave in my homeland is 1,5 years and it’s fully paid and in my partner’s homeland it’s 2 years 😒
Yet we live in UK and cannot opt for any of those as neither of us have had any recent income in either of those countries.

@SC126 @Cat2022 thanks both!

yes I am 20 weeks now but next appointment isn’t until 25 … so I will probably email HR and manager and then get one to collect asap.

As I do need to prove it to them and they’ll be arranging teachers for September.
@Decaffe as you say, I need to make sure it’s given before the deadline in case they’re shitty about it 😂

Had both a midwife and scan appointment today as at last scan wee man was refusing to cooperate with the sonographer so she couldn't get a good look at his heart - Thankfully all is well and wee man was quite the show off and poser for her today!!
Textbook perfect scan for getting a good look at everything she said, she was very happy with the wee dude <3

For anyone with PGP or just general bad hip/pelvic pain, I went swimming today and it was the first time in roughly a month that I was pain free - It was amazing.
It didn't last long, as after about 10-15 minutes of walking the pain crept back in but honestly even just that small amount of relief that an hours swimming gave me was an absolute godsend!
My midwife has also referred me to physio so I hope to get a call about that soon as well 😊

Bump measurements to start at next MW appointment, and I've also been told not to get too worried if they schedule me for more scans.
They said it's not typical for them to do many more as all seems to be progressing just fine, but as I'm a very petite 4ft 11 they need to keep an eye on size etc.

I got some super cute wee pictures of little man today so thought I'd share - I also got to hear his heartbeat for the first time which was so so nice to hear, I got to record it too which I was thankful for!

I've just had dessert after dinner and wee man is now happily wiggling about, definitely enjoying his sweet treats this one just like his parents! 😂

Boohoo have 40% off maternity wear and also their petite dresses section. Just picked up a few bits to keep me ticking over.

Cute scan @SpicyMoth! And yes @Lillers, my job involves a lot of travel and events and there are a few things I’ve said I don’t think I can do.

Speaking of which, we had an event last night which ended past 11pm, and then a stay in a hotel so didn’t sleep too well - bracing to lead five hours of meetings today. Missing caffeine very much right now!