Grad thread: TTC after loss carry on

[Wise0wl]

Hello all,

I just thought I'd set up a grad thread from our TTC threads, now there are quite a few people with their bfps so that we can keep in touch, and there's a forum for those on their TTC journey to check in with us!

I've sifted through the previous threads so think this is a reasonably full list:

*@SnookyPook
*@wyto
*@Aaliyahrae
*@SunSparkle
*@graceinc22
*@Gem0302
*@Bali200
*@Oxalis00
*@GeorgeR28
*@CluelessInLondon
*@HerbaceousPerennial
*@NphysT
*@GoldDustWoman90

I'd love to hear where you all are in your journey. I am approx 4 +2 (so very early!), after two MMCs. Feeling remarkably relaxed as, although I like a plan, I've resigned myself to the fact that there's little I can do to alter the fate of this pregnancy so until later down the line, I just sort of have to roll with it.

I don’t know how I managed to miss this thread when you started it @Wise0wl but so lovely to see everyone here! I have such tenderness thinking back to myself a year ago, just about recovered physically from the MMC and so consumed by worry about TTC… It was a lifeline being able to share the journey on these boards. Then the magic happened, and now I have a precious little 12 week old! He is smiley and lovely and I’m so so grateful things are as they are, as hard as it is still to think about what would/could have been. Any updates from others?

So lovely to see you @Oxalis00! Congratulations! How are you? And how was your birth? I hope to have an update for you all in the not too distant future, so will keep you posted. But I’m almost 39 weeks 🤞

Lovely to see your name and your update @Oxalis00 - so glad that little one is thriving!

@Wise0wl oh wow, so close! Can't wait for your update 🥰

I'm feeling very nostalgic at the moment! This time last year a teeny tiny Samuel was implanting and I had no idea I was going to get a surprise positive test in a week or so! And then I had all those nervous days/weeks/months ahead of me!! Christmas day hiding the fact I wasn't drinking from my family and too scared to announce in case it was another loss... Wow... Really looking forward to his first Christmas this year and being able to properly celebrate!! 🥰

@SnookyPook I think there’s something particularly nostalgic about this time of year isn’t there? I was only saying to DH the other day that this time last year I was 6/7 weeks pregnant with our second MMC and so full of hope after hearing a heartbeat. I’m nervous but also so excited to close this chapter of my life when this baby is born. How are you? And how is Samuel? And how are you celebrating your first Christmas?

@Oxalis00 lovely to see your name and crazy to think you have a baby who's almost completed the 4th trimester!

@SnookyPook loved your toy box idea!

@Bali200 do you have anything for Elodie's stocking yet?

@CluelessInLondon how is Maddie doing now? The bubble can be both a blessing and a curse. I'm excited for it this time now I know what to expect a bit more!

@Wise0wl I always felt the same about pregnancy, so ready to be done. Now I'm in my third trimester I'm having similar thoughts! How are you feeling?

20w scan was an emotional one! Realised mid way through that is was the first nhs scan me and DH have had together since the TFMR one (he couldn't come in at 12w as we had to bring DD and changed trusts so didn't realise she wasn't allowed in). Clean bill of health all good 😊 so relieved. The kicks are almost constant despite anterior placenta. 25 weeks tomo!

Congratulations @Wise0wl - so exciting!! Remind me, is this your first? Do you know if this is a boy or girl? I’ll look forward to hearing your updates!

My birth went really well thank you. Had a stressful last few days of pregnancy with discussions of induction as he was measuring big and getting ‘late’, and did in the end have the hormone drip which I was very nervous about, but thankfully once things finally got going it was all straightforward - 6 hours start to finish with a bit of gas and air, and a second degree tear which didn’t bother me at the time (and has healed perfectly) but stitching was hideous! Feel like I'm just finding my feet with mat leave and so grateful I get to go to baby groups and meet people this time around as first was in lockdown. Though the mat leave cash will run out soon and I’ll have to cut down on the cafe trips…!

@SnookyPook Nostalgia is a good word for how I feel too - lots of looking back with the winter season and approach to the end of the year as well as the anniversary of the BFP. So grateful to be where we are - and wishing so much luck and peace to those still waiting 🤍

@samilicious 25 weeks, that’s wonderful! So pleased for you ☺️ How are you finding the pregnancy, are you able to enjoy it at all? Mine was a weird mix of not quite believing it and a kind of sadness that the experience was passing and I wouldn’t be doing it again.

@samilicious 25 weeks!!! Congratulations on making it past your 20 weeks scan!

@Oxalis00 my second, expecting a girl, and I have a lovely DS. Have you seen the new M&S mmm and baby club (which I think gives free cake?!) I’m so glad you’re enjoying it and your birth went well, I had a lockdown baby first time round too!

@Wise0wl No I didn’t know the M&S club - brilliant tip, thank you! Always keen for cake 😀 Congrats on forthcoming DD 🥰

@Wise0wl gutted our local M&S moved and ditched the cafe! 😩 I'm doing well thank you! Trying to start getting a bit fitter again now as feeling like the pregnancy excuse is running out now we're over 4 months!! Samuel is doing well and is finally over 11lbs! Haha! He's a little joyful man most of the time but has had a horrible cold that seems to be doing the rounds. He has an awful cough and I took him to docs the other day as he sounded a bit rattly and was a bit bothered about his chest. Thankfully clear but he has been quite poorly and sorry for himself the last few days. He coughed so hard this morning he went bright red and threw up 🥺 Hoping he picks up again soon. Christmas will be lots of family time with both sides - in-laws on the day and my lot on Boxing day. Looking forward to it 🥰

@samilicious so glad you had a positive 20wk scan and amazing that you are at 25wks now! 😍 So reassuring to feel lots of kicks too! Samuel was a little bugger and not overly kicky!! Was constantly on edge!! This has reminded me that I had a maternity dress that said 'Christmas Pudding' with my eldest and had a pic of the pudding on my belly (I was 36wks on Christmas day) 😂

Ah so lovely to hear updates from everyone! @samilicious 25 weeks is amazing! So glad the 20 week scan went well. @Wise0wl not long now 🥰 lovely to hear your baby updates @samilicious and @Oxalis00 xx

Ahhh it’s so lovely to hear everyone’s updates! This is such a joyful thread and I think we all deserve that 😊 @Oxalis00 I’m glad you found us and that all is going well.

@Wise0wl any day now! How are you feeling? I’ve heard second babies are often a little earlier than first ones.

@samilicious hello pal! So glad 20 week scan went well, it’s a huge milestone. Sounds like you have a party baby, hopefully all the kicks are reassuring rather than too annoying

@SnookyPook hope Samuel is over his cold soon and glad he is getting there weight wise

@ThelastRolo20 how are you doing?

I am doing ok, 17 weeks now and finally beginning to relax slightly. Had the midwife this week and she found the heartbeat really easily on the Doppler so I’m feeling good. Feeling some little flutters which I am obsessed with currently! Keen to get through the 20 week scan and then I think it will be ok to relax fully 🤞

@HerbaceousPerennial 17 weeks! I can't believe it 🎉 the 20 week mark certainly is a big milestone to get to.

I'm 32 weeks now - still feels like I have a lifetime to go 🫠

Updating to let you know my little double rainbow baby is here, and I have all the feelings. And at once it feels like we’ve finally reached the end of a momentous journey and that none of the long and hard struggle to get here ever happened. I keep wondering why she made it and the others didn’t, but I wouldn’t change her for anything.

How are you all getting on? X

Oh @Wise0wl what a beautiful message and update! So glad your little girl has made it into the world safely and hope you're both doing ok. Have you picked a name?

Congratulations @Wise0wl 🎉🥰 that's wonderful news xx

Congratulations @Wise0wl ! Wonderful news.

Hope you ladies don't mind me being here. Had to create a slightly different username as lost access to my last account (moosey89). I just found out I'm expecting again. Hoping 4th time might be a charm but taking it one day at a time.

Congratulations to everyone who has their baby, and hope everyone in the midst of their pregnancies is doing well xx

Thank you ❤️ @samilicious how are you getting on? And are the final few weeks still dragging @ThelastRolo20?

@Moosey898 so lovely to see your (slightly different!) name pop up! And tentative congratulations. How are you feeling so far? xx

Thanks @Wise0wl - I'm up and down. Anxious and stressed, not helped by the fact I've started a new job and it's insane. Could be good, but the big bosses are insane. I don't know if I want to stay...so conflicted.

@Moosey898 ah I'm so glad you're back here but I completely understand the anxiety. What are your thoughts about having an early scan etc? @Wise0wl they're massively dragging..the last 4 weeks have lasted about 10 I'm sure! How are you getting on? 🥰

@Moosey898 so glad to see your name back here! And congrats. How many weeks are you?

I was in a similar job for 2 years up until recently and it was horrible! I thought the promise of the job would outweigh the bosses but I just ended up wasting my time again and again, and denting my confidence because they undermined me professionally no matter how hard I tried to work with/around their strange ways and get them on board. I was stubborn and they eventually made me redundant and took on an expensive agency to do my work badly instead 😅 the company is also failing because of their leadership and they've had to put everyone on furlough. My advice would be to get out if you can - my only regret is staying as long as I did

@Wise0wl ok thank you! Just feeling very preg all of a sudden now in third trimester. Though visited a friend in NICU with her baby born 6 weeks early and is thriving luckily. Made me not grumble as much and told our bub he can stay where he is as long as he likes 😂

@samilicious yeah I don't think they will change - but it is a fully remote job with a great salary, so I am trying to stay for a while, as (if all goes well) I'm eligible for maternity leave and apparently they are quite generous. I would be the first UK employee to get mat leave, and when I worked with them on annual leave they basically just gave me what I asked for immediately 😅 so we will see...

@ThelastRolo20 I will be having an early scan for sure because all my losses have been MMCs and required management, so I'd rather know if something was wrong as my body doesn't seem to figure it out. Trying to gather the strength to call the EPU to book in...

I'm also having to put my cat to sleep this afternoon, so the emotions are really swirling currently 🥺

@Moosey898 oh I'm so sorry to hear that, what a tough day for you 💔

@Moosey898 oh that's pretty good perk-wise, makes total sense. So sorry about your cat :( sending you lots of love ❤️