Due September - Thread 5! 🐣❤️🧡💛

[Lillers]

New thread! Can’t believe we’re on 5 already.

I also missed out on tea and toast. I came out of the c section and instantly passed out asleep as I had been in labour for quite a long time. So my husband got all the baby cuddles before me. This is one of the main reasons that I’m looking forward to an elective this time. I felt like I missed out a bit with my DS and we have no photos of the birth etc as it was so rushed.

I missed out too, I was randomly sick once about half an hour after my daughter was born so couldn’t stomach anything (a side effect of the epidural I didn’t know was a thing). And then I was home 6 hours later because they asked me if I could handle it as they had no beds and needed my room.. this time I want toast and an overnight stay! 😂

@tryingfortwo2 noo the overnight stays are awful. You get no sleep 😂 I didn’t have a side room to myself though, I was in a bay with 6 beds so maybe that’s why. September is also busiest month for midwives so it will likely be very full.

I was in hospital for 2 nights after my son, the second night I was the only person on the ward! 🤣. I do remember the first night being pretty noisy though - I was happy to get home

I was in for 6 nights and you get zero sleep, it's wild. So many noises and being woken up for obs.

Also for some reason the midwives would come in and open all the curtains at 6am??

I actually enjoyed my stay though, got to know quite a few women and watched them come and go with their babies.

Is there a cut off point for sending you home - say for example if you give birth (naturally?) by say 1pm or something they'd expect you to go home that evening? So basically I think what I'm asking is... an overnight stay isn't guaranteed?

@HolyMoly24 curtains open at 6am and lights didn’t go off until midnight when they finally finished the evening med round. I think because it was so busy the evening meds took longer. I’m a bed at 9pm girl so was not impressed 😂 and the obs in the night was unnecessary 😂

@MudandMoet i have known people with a natural birth to go home same day for sure. If you have an epidural though it likely won’t be as it takes hours to wear off and you need to pee after catheter is removed etc. I was in 3 days but that was due to my c section however I have also known people to go home a day after their c section too. So I guess it just depends and these things can’t be predicted sadly.

I was on a ward for 7 days (son needed antibiotics) in a heatwave...the hospital bins and recycling were right outside the window. It was bloody awful with 5 other newborns crying all the time and all the mums watching TV with no headphones.

@MudandMoet hmm there are no guarantees with childbirth, especially with hospitals struggling as well. Usually you'd be waiting on a specific midwife or Dr to officially discharge you, the waits can be long - my sister was discharged at 8pm recently. But I don't think they'd send you home if they were unhappy about anything, eg I think they'd want to see the baby feeding well?

Went to GP today and they don't listen to heartbeat until 21 weeks!! (Ireland or maybe just my doc). I'm 18 tomorrow.
I'm not feeling movement but I did some flips back and forth in bed and put hand near where baby was in last scan while on that side. I could feel the slightest of movements like a pulsing. Got DH to do it too and he felt it.
I know, I'm losing my marbles 🤣 a little bit of reassurance though.

(As in they didn't know until 8pm if they'd be staying or going)

@SC126 @MudandMoet I was sent home about 7 hours after birth with an epidural still wearing off!! I limped out as my left leg was partially numb!! Aftercare was awful. They were SO busy (I swear everyone in my area at the time decided to give birth that same day) and had no space in the ward, and needed my birthing room as women were waiting in the corridor.

Naively, after having pretty poor care (but wonderful actual birthing moments ♥️) I was only too happy to go home. But I 100% should’ve stayed and had more care/feeding help, but they just had no staff. This time round I quite fancied an overnight to try and rest before going home to a toddler and a newborn, but you’ve all put me off 🤣

@tryingfortwo2 oh my goodness that is horrific. The ward didn’t rush me at all to go home even though it was rammed. Every bed was taken and they were moving women into another ward. I spent 3 days in and they said I could stay another day if I wanted but I was ready to go. I defo wouldn’t have wanted to go that soon after an epidural. Least this time you know to stand your ground and get the care you deserve. I didn’t get much sleep staying in but the midwives and feeding specialists was so helpful and lovely and I did appreciate their help. They also discovered my son was tongue tied so I got an instant referral to get it snipped.

@MudandMoet it also depends on how you are planning to feed as if you are breastfeeding they will want to see if it’s going okay before you go home and should offer some support.

Am I the only weirdo that likes hearing how uncomfortable it can be? I’m not talking actual birth horror stories (not ready for those yet!) more this kind of aftercare stuff. It makes me feel calmer because I know that others have got through it and survived and actively chosen to give birth again and so I know that whatever happens to me and whatever my experience is, I’ll be ok too, just like all of you amazing mums have been.

Just on the postnatal wards/recovery. I had DS on the Friday evening and was discharged Sunday afternoon. I hated the postnatal ward. It was so hot, noisy and this was just as covid restrictions were being lifted (although DH was only allowed to visit for 2 hours per day). I was kept in due to post partum haemorrhage during my c-section and they wanted to keep an eye in case of infection as I had elevated white blood cells.

This time round if I'm required to stay in for longer than 24hr I'm going to ask to transfer to my local midwife led unit for recovery, where instead of traditional ward they have individual rooms and also like a lounge area where you can meet other new mums. One of the mums in my NCT group did this. I'm in Mid & South Essex NHS Trust in case anyone else is local. But worth asking if it's something that other trusts do.

Aw @Lillers hopefully you'll have a straightforward birth and plenty of tea and toast.

All the staff were wonderful and working really hard, they must walk 10 miles a shift. But yeah I'd say mentally prepare for it being noisy and a bit chaotic.

Tbh I think the hardest thing is the sleep deprivation - that's the real shock x

That sounds like heaven @cd24x lol I love the idea of a lounge with new mums! I only say this as I was on my own for 3 days (partner wasn’t allowed to visit as I was covid positive) I was kept in mainly though due to a spinal. I personally was itching to go home as I had no interaction other than nurses in full PPE 🙃

I doubt they take that much precaution for Covid now 2 years on!

I had my second baby in the birth centre. He arrived at something like 3:40am, and I was allowed to stay in the birth centre room afterwards (drop down double bed was 🤌🏻🤌🏻 😂) and got our tea and toast etc, and essentially at about 9am(ish) they said we were all good to go whenever we were ready, but there was no rush as they didn’t need the room.

Well.. I didn’t have my toddler and I had this huge room with an ensuite so, it felt like a holiday and I was indeed, not in a rush 😂😂 I think in the end we left about 4pm

@SC126 I have photos of my newborn “latched” (pinching nipple with lips) and the midwife is looking over me saying how great I was doing. They hadn’t a clue! And no feeding team at all due to budget cuts. We ended up in a bad way feeding wise, got private help, and it involved triple feeding (feed-pump-top up) 8-12 times a day for 13 weeks. It was awful! I’m in a new area now and have been assured the feeding team at the new hosp is incredible.

On that note, I can’t stress enough to ask for more feeding help if you feel you need it before you are discharged, if you choose to bf. It would’ve made a massive difference for us, the problem was I didn’t even know we needed help because we were incorrectly told everything was fine.

@Lillers so many things went a bit …off track… at my induction, and still the moments of giving birth and meeting my baby and everything else were so amazing and special. I would do it over and over and over! I know not everyone is quite so lucky, and that really breaks my heart, but wanted to note that even if things go a bit topsy turvy, it can still be a beautiful, incredible experience.

Thank all, it's good to hear a good variation of stories so it's clear that basically anything is possible! @Honeyandsunshine1 ahh your experience sounds lovely but I'm sure I won't be that lucky.

Next question to the amazing encyclopaedia of knowledge on this thread: Milk recommendations? I won't be breastfeeding as I had a breast uplift around 12 years ago (they were HUGE and I was a size 8/10 so extremely top heavy) I'm a 12 normally these days but still have 34GG boobs as my weight has also gone there 🤦🏼‍♀️ Also my left nipple has never felt the same since and I hate it being touched (right one is perfectly fine) but I have definitely decided it's not for me. Any advice for the best easily available formula? 🍼🤍

@MudandMoet just go off what your local supermarket stocks. Aldi has the cheapest formula but some babies settle well with one and not the other. We used hipp organic with my DS 5 years ago because the Aldi didn’t settle with him. And I’ve heard kendamil is good but harder to get hold off. I’ll probably try Aldi again this time though as it’s the cheapest and this one might do fine with it. I’m sure someone told me once the Aldi formula is made in same factory as actamil. Don’t hold me to that though.

I echo this - whatever is stocked locally as if you do run out and your local doesn’t stock it for example, it can be annoying to track down.

We used Kendamil as it was in our local Tesco - however you can also buy it on subscription so it gets sent to you monthly etc. Just an option if you didn’t want to pop out for it all the time!

@MudandMoet i used cow & gate with my son & he was fine with it. Someone suggested to me to look at what your most local shop stocks & go for that just incase your ever caught short (we have a small village shop but next nearest is 15mins drive) , I had a prep machine for the powder at home & just took the ready made bottles for out & about (luckily he took them at room temp so was super easy)!

I heard September is the busiest month to have babies too 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 doesn’t bode well for the busy wards!
I know you can have a side room/ private room in the hospital I have opted for - so hoping to snag one of those and I know a few of the midwives - even better is the Birth Unit where you can stay and partners can stay over too!

But I am contemplating an elective section and then that won’t be an option for us if I do. Won’t hold my breath on any of it. Just a smooth labour will do thanks 🤞🏻