Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

Bit of a different post... Just sharing in case it's helpful for anyone... So, because I already have a 3yr old DS who is at nursery, they've obviously seen bump and basically told me that nursery places are like goldust at the mo and to pay my deposit for this baby asap as places are filling up fast. This seems absolute madness to me as I'm sure with my son I didn't enquire until he'd been born!! Although he was Lockdown cohort so maybe things were very different 3 years ago.

I know lots of you are still slightly behind me in your pregnancies and this might seem a mad thing to think about when still anxious about progression etc.. but I do recommend checking out your local options and if there is one you particularly like the look of, don't waste time speaking to them! To give an idea, our nursery have only been able to offer me:

Full day Tuesday, Weds/Fri pm for August 2025 start!! They currently have no 5 full day places until Sept 2027!!!!

I've paid the deposit to lock that in and am hopeful some additional hours may come up for which I'm now on a waiting list... Hopefully particularly as they know us...?! But, yeah... Don't just assume that places will be there when you need them. I think with changes to funding etc the demand on places has shot up massively! So, take this as your friendly alert!!

Hope everyone is doing ok. Xx

@SnookyPook stupid question but does this mean people are booking places now for children who haven’t even been conceived yet!???? Or are they all taken up with the hope of getting them in when they’re older like 2/3??? Wow

@SnookyPook that's a really good thing to raise! My DS nursery is also full until July 2026 for 2 years and above! I also actually emailed nursery to tentatively reserve space for bump after 12 week scan before blood tests came back. Feel there's a chance I jumped the gun, but hopefully all will be well. It's crazy how busy they are, like you say think the new funding is upping the numbers.

@H20202 I presume the latter but who knows...! Maybe just booking what's available even if it means kids being older to start?! Not quite sure tbh!

@Hopingrae it's madness isn't it?! Just don't want anyone getting caught out! And with us lot being so nervous after what we've been through, I know we're more likely to put stuff like this off for a while!!

Yes, so its started because of the new funding scheme thats come in (i used to be a manager in a nursery)

New funding is coming in this september which gives 15/30 hours free childcare places, which is starting to fill nurseries up really quickly as people are saying well my DC will be 3 - 6 months by then can i have a place for them.

Get the places while you can x

We've been paying for private dentistry since we moved in 2021. Luckily nothing major has happened in that time. I get dental through work now so that helps. I've had tooth pain since the day of my positive test - have dentist tomorrow, worried.

Also have my scan Saturday and so so nervous now. Suddenly less sick today, not nauseated by the smells I was a few days ago, and able to eat chocolate which was previously a no-no, so obviously I'm worried. Not long to wait now til scan but the dread is building hard :( 😞

Thanks for sharing @SnookyPook maybe ill ask our nursery after our scan.. that is absurd and really irritates me that it has to be so difficult though!!!

@MOGMOGMOG85 ah I’m off chocolate too! Had to hunt for some sweet alternatives as I still like a sweet snack. Trying Biscoff spread 👍🏻
Fingers crossed your scan goes ok!

So after my post the other day stressing about poor line progression, tonight I’ve got pink spotting. I have no positivity left anymore and now fully expecting my fourth loss to start any time soon. At least I’m only five weeks this time, the other three were all around the 12 week mark

@IDontDrinkTea sorry you've lost your positivity 🥹 it is spotting so hopefully it doesn't come to anything else. How far along are you again? Could you call EPU, maybe for a scan? ❤️

Hi all, I'm hoping someone can help.

I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks at the beginning of April. I've since conceived again without a period. I had negative pregnancy tests around the time of ovulation.

This week I started testing on Monday at 8DPO. At 9DPO I saw a very faint line however the digital said not pregnant. At 10DPO the line was ever so slightly less faint however this time a digital said pregnant, yay!

I'm now worried about my line progression and wondering if I'm having a chemical as the lines are no where near as dark as they were at the same point last pregnancy.

Do you think this could be a chemical? The tests in red writing is this pregnancy and the other one is last. I know there's nothing I can do but wait but I'll be so sad to lose this 😞

@CadoAvo first of all, sorry for your loss. We all know how tough that is, and that longing to be pregnant again. As you said yourself, unfortunately there is no way to know other than the passing of time. However, you really can't compare. It's true that your tests looked a lot darker last time, but that was also a pregnancy you went on to lose. It may be that you ovulated/implanted a bit later this time and this one will stick. I know it's really tough, and pregnancy after loss really messes with your head, but as much as possible, try not to torment yourself too much. The fact is, it's pretty much already determined if this little one will stick or not. For now, pregnancy hormones are detected so try to take the win.

FWIW, my first BFP after my MMC was a CP. I tried to take comfort from the fact my body recognised a non-viable pregnancy quickly. I've since conceived again... one more loss and then this one - am currently heading to 26wks. Try to trust that the right little one will come to you at the right time -whether its this one or not. 💗🌈 Best of luck.

I'm at the same stage as you. I had a miscarriage in March but now I'm 11dpo with the faintest lines I've ever seen. I'm due AF tomorrow and am confused as to what's going on. As I've always got much darker lines at this point. I'm hoping it's just late implantation but I'm just waiting and seeing! X

@SnookyPook @Chaz693 thank you for your response, I've since calmed down after speaking to the due in Jan group. It doesn't help the quality of the photos weakens when uploaded to Mumsnet but right now I can see line progression albeit it's still super faint. It's a waiting game.

And Snooky you are right, I lost the last one despite strong early lines. I'm hoping this little dot is just keeping me on my toes and will prove me wrong (already imagining what I could be in for if we make it to the end 🤣)

@CadoAvo I had a similar concern and ended up getting some HCG blood tests to check the pregnancy is progressing. It is so far! I have stopped peeing on sticks as it was driving me mad. Obviously HCG tests are £££ but at this point I just wanted the reassurance (not that it will change the fate of the pregnancy) for however long it lasts...

Woke up this morning proper bleeding so I think this is me over and out. Misc #4. I don’t know if we’ll try again now.

Wishing everyone else a happy and healthy 9 months

@IDontDrinkTea oh no, I'm so sorry. That's so sad. If you haven't already, you could speak to your GP about a referral to recurrent MC clinic when you're ready xxx

I'm still waiting for the NIPT result after our higher risk combined test. Likely to hear next week after bank hol, it's such a painful wait. It now appears I also have a uterine prolapse, my cervix was at the entrance to my vagina when I was in the shower earlier. Thankfully it definitely felt closed. I'm now waiting to hear back from MW who was trying to get hold of on call gynae doctor and my hospital. So I'm bed bound for now praying it's nothing more sinister that a dodgy pelvic floor. This worrying seems quite endless at the mo.

I'm so sorry you're having such a stressful time and that you NIPT test wait has been so long (we just got our private one back in 3 days, which seems very unfair considering your need is so much greater).

The prolapse must be very worrying too, hopefully there's a practical solution that isn't too uncomfortable.

Not the same but I've been suffering from a fairly mild prolapse of the vaginal wall since my son's birth but it's got so much worse since being pregnant this time. That combined with first trimester constipation is making for a lot of fun 😩 (sorry TMI). So it's highly likely it's just a pelvic floor thing. Fingers crossed it's easily sorted.

On the subject of NIPT tests, if people don't mind me asking, did anyone or is anyone planning to find out the sex? We did, and although it's been a really joyous moment for us, it feels very odd to know the sex this early. I'm just 12 weeks and haven't even had my nhs 12 week scan yet (although I did have a private one on Monday which was all fine).

Up to now I've been trying to create a distance between me and the baby in case it didn't work out, not even really acknowledging it as a baby, and now I know it has a sex, it feels so real and scary in case it all comes crashing down somehow. We're not sure whether to tell people we know, in case it just seems too early and strange, does that make any sense?

@IDontDrinkTea I'm so sorry 😞 I agree, worth asking about recurrent miscarriage clinic. Sending big hugs.

@Hopingrae sorry you're still waiting on NIPT! That seems to be taking a while! Hope you hear back soon. The prolapse sounds uncomfortable too. Hope the midwife gets back to you soon and that all is ok there too.

@Ketryne I can see why it would feel a bit more vulnerable somehow. We found out it's another little boy at the 20wk scan and since then he's felt so much more real and like a proper little person. I can definitely see why you would feel a bit more invested and vulnerable knowing so early. On the other hand, I think it's rather lovely. I've had a few moments of wondering about the ones I lost - particularly curious if they were girls as I now seem destined to be a boy Mum! Not that it would change anything but somehow knowing more of who they were would add a layer of meaning. 💕

Yes I think vulnerable probably is the word. I think I've tried very hard not to think about either of my previous lost pregnancies as babies, they've always been gestational sacs, or embryos or a foetus. I know for lots of people even early losses are babies and that's absolutely the right of the person experiencing the loss. But for me, losing both at 7 weeks and passing the gestational sac very clearly both times, I had to put them in a completely different box in my mind. But this little girl (eeek haven't told anyone else yet that it's a girl) is totally real and whole and alive in my mind now, and that's exciting and terrifying in a completely different way to before.
But I also know having got to this point I've got no reason to assume there will be a problem and my odds of success are likely the same as anyone now. So I guess I just have to let go and enjoy the excitement now, whatever will come.

Also, I hope this line of thinking isn't insensitive. There is such a range of experiences in this thread now and I've felt for everyone as they've experienced happiness or devastation. Just trying to put into words how I'm feeling about it all today.

@Ketryne aw congratulations on your little girl 🥰💗 Don't worry about coming across as insensitive - we all do what we've got to do to get through. Personally my MMC still hits a lot harder than the CP and the 7wk MC - neither of which properly got going so I know what you mean - however if they had been my only pregnancies I'm sure I might feel differently about them. I think so much of it all depends on personal experience and what makes sense of your own journey. As you say, we've all had such a range of experiences and as long as we all respect that and meet each other where we are at, that's the most important thing. 💗

So sorry your still waiting @Hopingrae
hope they get back to you ASAP!!

@Ketryne congrats on your girl news!

sorry I haven’t been keeping up to date as much the last week or so. Welcome to any new joiners ☺️ I’ve been suffering with depression and anxiety and truly just fed up of it now. I thought I could wait till our 16 week scan but I couldn’t so we went today after I’ve randomly been throwing up this week (I haven’t my entire pregnancy or the one before). All looked good although I’m measuring behind according to my nhs dates so that’s got me slightly worried but the guy said it was completely normal and also they are wriggly little things so could imagine it could be out a mm or two.

Thanks @SnookyPook for the nursery recommendation. I looked into it today. I’m so grateful to be having two babies but the cost oh my godddddd. It’s more than I get paid monthly. Definitely going to look into alternative child care or the possibility of not going back to work!

@Ketryne - what you're saying totally resonates, I had my 12 week scan on Monday and started telling people although I'm still so uncomfortable talking about it because I'm detached to an extent to preserve my feelings if it all goes wrong...like you say though, chances are probably the same as anyone elses at this point.

And to add to @SnookyPook - everyone's experiences are so different, my MMC at 11wks was my first and I felt I recovered from it quickly, subsequent miscarriages x 3 have been around 6 weeks and hit harder for various reasons. Definitely glad I don't know whether they were boys or girls although I may be able to put some older women right about whether or not I'm "just not able to carry boys" 🙄