Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

So sorry @IDontDrinkTea - a 4th is unbearable. Have you looked at the Tommy's miscarriage calculator? When you're ready it might be worth a look because 4 miscarriages only brought my odds of successful pregnancy down from 80% to 70% which I found reassuring.

I'm struggling so bad today. Haven't stopped crying, honestly think I have ptsd from miscarriages and think if I lose this pregnancy I won't be able to go through this again, highly likely I'll lose this pregnancy to I'm overweight, got pcos, and previous loses, just feel at my lowest and won't see anyone till 12 weeks and I'm only 6 weeks 😭

Thank you @SnookyPook @Traitors2024 and @30somethingttc and appreciate all the shared perspectives. Everyone's had their own journey to this point and they're all so different and equally hard in different ways. I'm hoping to just keep taking this one as it comes but to do it with positivity rather than the dread I was feeling a few weeks ago.

Sorry you're having a tough day @Mamaxo.
I can't remember exactly how far along you are, but I felt like this from the moment I got pregnant until my 3rd private scan at 9 weeks. Only then did I turn a corner and start to picture it might be ok. There's no way of knowing if this is your little one or not, and nothing I can say will take away the fear, but the days will keep passing and you will get through it somehow, whatever comes. I have all my fingers crossed for you.

Hi ladies, Iv been a bit quiet on here but starting to get a little more hope and positivity. Due to multiple miscarriages I had a scan at what I thought I was 6w. They saw yolk sac and gest sac and dated me at 5w. Just had a private scan before my next NHS check up as I was so anxious and I saw little baby and heartbeat. Measuring 6w 3d. I'm re assured, for now! 🥰

Due date est as 24th December

Sorry @Mamaxo just saw you said you were 6 weeks! That was peak dread and anxiety for me too. I felt there was only one way it could go and that was badly. It gets easier as the weeks pass, and I recommend a private scan if you can. Check whether your local EPU has a private scan evening, mine does but it's not well advertised. Then you get the same nhs staff and you're in the system immediately if there's a problem. It costs but it's not horrendous.

@Mamaxo you poor thing, sending a hand hold. PTSD after miscarriage is definitely a thing, I found a therapist that specialised in baby loss when I was pregnant with my DS after 3 MC. It helped immensely - maybe that’s something you could look into? X

@Mamaxo my BMI is well over 30. Try not to worry about that. Maybe get an early scan if you can afford it?

Thank you - I’m already under the care of a consultant for recurrent miscarriage and so far it’s unexplained but I’ve had a lot of tests. Have rung them today and they’re going to try to bring next appointment forward

5+2 today, first pregnancy since MMC last July (took 9 months to get pregnant again), and I've started having pink spotting. I'm not even home I'm away working an event so I can't even get checked and I'm terrified 😔 I can't go through this again. This is pregnancy no4.

@Ketryne@SnookyPook@30somethingttc thanks ladies for your kind words ❤ it's been a really stressful day and I'm now in bed.

The screening MW went way above and beyond, to cut a long story short the on call gynae doctor said she would see me if I went through A&E so that's what we did. I was examined and no signs of cervix opening which Dr was most worried about. She was a bit vague about prolapse in terms of doing anything to treat it, when I'm lying down it's much better than when I'm standing up. She thinks it's def a pelvic floor issue, so I'm going to get straight on to a woman's health physio I know and get an appointment ASAP. She said no heavy lifting... my toddler will be most impressed!

Also...I got the NIPT result back this PM from same screening MW just as we came out of A&E and I was low risk for all 3 trisomies. I cried the relief was so immense. This arvo I've been so shaky and can barely eat, I think it's all the shock to the system. Hoping after a solid sleep I'll feel much better.
Edited to add, as it's NHS NIPT we don't get told the sex but we're hoping to find out at a private scan soon.

@Ketryne congrats on your little girl. Magical ❤

@Mamaxo it can all so terrifying, I'm sorry you're having a difficult time at the moment. Speaking to someone might really help, perhaps MW can sign post you? Sending a hand hold x

@JNicko aw congrats, that must have been a big relief to see a heartbeat. My DS is a December baby, it's a lovely time.

@moosey89 so sorry you've got this worry. I've been there with spotting and know the panic it can cause. Even if you're away, 111 could direct you to nearest epu potentially. I know people say early spotting can be normal, but when you've had previous loss that doesn't bring much, if any, comfort! But it CAN be ok. I've had spotting with MMCs and with this pregnancy which is progressing ok at 14+5 (despite the odd drama). Keep an eye on it and call 111 if you're worried. Sending hand hold x

Ahhh @Hopingrae I'm so pleased your results were reassuring! I know you were prepared to make the best of whatever result, but this is such a lot less to think and worry about. I'm not surprised you feel shaky and unwell after all that stress.

Hoping you feel better tomorrow and the women's health physio can help. I was all lined up to see one for my prolapse when I got pregnant this time and my miscarriage specialist said not to bother because everything would change in pregnancy but I really regret not keeping the appointments now that things have been worse.

@Hopingrae Aww I'm so happy for you. I cried when I got mine too and I didn't have half of the stress of pre screening questionable results that you did so I can only imagine the relief 🥲

@moosey89 I hope you're ok, I think i've seen you post on the ttc boards and I know the journey you've been on. Spotting is so scary but others do get it and it can turn out to be ok. I hope you get home soon to get some answers 🤞

@30somethingttc I'm glad to hear that you're anxiety was relieved a bit by a scan and they were wriggling away. As you say a mm or 2 is very common dating wise so it's really good news.

Sorry I've missed so many new people, I hope you're all doing ok. Im so sorry to those that aren't and have unfortunately had bad news again 😔.

This thread is such a support to everyone whose experiences are so similar and anxiety's are heightened more than "normal" pregnancies. I've been following now and then but in the last week or so I've stepped away from MN and google etc as much as I can just for a bit of a break.,

I'm 17+2 today and in that horrible limbo of waiting for the 20 week scan with no proper bump (just bloat) and no movement yet. So I'm on holidays in Spain for 3 weeks trying to distract myself and pretend like everything is normal. I have a feeling if i continue to worry I'll just book a private one here so I don't drive myself mad. I hope everyone here manages to enjoy the weekend as much as you can xx

@Sez281 thanks so much. Enjoy your break, I hope you're able to take lots of time to relax. We've booked a private scan when I'll be 16+4ish, I can imagine that limbo feeling before 20 weeks. I've actually felt some "bubbles" on and off for a few days which had been quite nice. I never had that with my DS, he just gave me sharp prod around 17/18 weeks. So funny how each pregnancy is so blimmin' different.

@Ketryne it's horrible isn't it. I think it sounds quite common, but not something you really hear about until it happens to you! I've just downloaded the squeezy app, it cost £2.99 (I don't usually like paying for apps!), I've seen lots of women recommend it so thought I'd give it a go. It basically sets you a reminder and then times and records your pelvic floor exercises. I've just done my first round ;) I've read symptoms can actually improve as pregnancy goes on...hope that's the case for us!

@Hopingrae so happy to hear your nipt news! What a relief! Sounds more hopeful on the prolapse front too. I was looking at something to help with pelvic floor exercises as always worried I'm doing them wrong, but the thing I saw hasn't been tested on pregnant ladies (obviously... Ethical implications etc) so they can't recommend it.

@Sez281 hope you have a lovely holiday! May as well add a Spanish scan to the collection if needed! That limbo ahead of 20wks is tough! Especially after lots of earlier monitoring.

@JNicko aw potentially a Christmas baby! My birthday is 29th and while it has it's frustrations it's also a lovely magical time of year and I was always off school... 🤪

@moosey89 also know you from other threads. Sending you a big hand hold. We all know that dread all too well. A few of us on here have had spotting this time and still seeing pregnancies progress so hopefully you will too. 💗

@Mamaxo it really is so tough after loss. Sending hugs x

Hi all,
I haven’t been able to read all the messages as there are so many but I feel this is the group I need.
I'm 9 weeks today after a mmc last November. I’m absolutely petrified. I had some bleeding early on and two scans, last one at just over 7w but I can’t help but think every minute that it’s heart has stopped again. My symptoms seem to have lessened this last week which really isn’t helping. I still have sore nipples but my boobs no longer feel heavy. Also been having quite a lot of twinges down there which when you read up it sounds like it could be the uterus expanding but I’m so worried, can anyone tell me if they have had those feelings and lesser symptoms please?
I hope you’re all ok
x

@SnookyPook I sent a message to my physio this morning (turns out she's on permanent bed rest with low lying placenta!! Jeez)... she suggested downloading the squeezy app for pelvic floor exercises x3 times a day, so might be an option to get them in regularly?! I've done my first set and already feeling slightly self righteous 🤣 I'm hoping the frequent reminders act as a good prompt, I guess I've got an incentive too which helps.

@Zlcb welcome to the thread. We all know the worry you're experiencing with your new pregnancy, so sorry you're having to go through it. Have you got any more scans booked in? Symptoms can definitely fluctuate, but I know the worry it brings when things seem to change and you don't know if everything is OK. Sending a hand hold x

Thank you so much @Hopingrae, your message made me book a scan this afternoon and thank goodness everything is still ok. I feel relieved but know it will only last a few days before the worry sets in again!
I hope you all have a good weekend x

Thank you all for your kind works, I haven't stopped crying all weekend with some flashbacks and thinking the worst. Going to phone my gp Tuesday and hopefully they can offer me help/reassurance xx

@Mamaxo you poor thing. I think many of us can relate and honestly think that we've all had some ptsd. Could you book a private scan if you can't wait to see GP? It might give you some reassurance x

@Sez281 because I'm only 6/7 weeks I don't know if it will resure me there and then but I think the anxiety will creep back in quickly. My problem is I keep looking at percentages for stuff and upsetting myself xx

@moosey89 how are things now? I’ve just read your last post. If it’s any help I had some fairly heavy bleeding at 6 weeks and then spotting at 7, scan after both and everything was ok. I hope it’s the same for you. I’d never been so scared, convinced it was going to be bad news but just want you to know it doesn’t always mean the worst is happening.
@Mamaxo I really hope you’re ok. We all understand your anxiety and it’s so hard but try to be hopeful, I know it’s easier said than done but everyone keeps telling me I need to relax for the baby. Sending hugs

@Zlcb thank you - still the same currently as it's been for the last 3 days, I don't know what to think! I'm mainly worried because it's the same spotting I had in both my missed miscarriages once they were diagnosed. I have a scan next Wednesday anyway because of recurrent loss, might just hold out as it'll give a more definitive answer by then. I wonder if a 6 week scan might make me more worried if I'm not as far along as I think I am!

@Zlcb I'm currently in a&e with stomach pain mainly on the right side hoping I won't be here all day but think I will be x