Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

@SnookyPook thank you.

We fell on the wrong side of multiple stats last time - late term loss, retained product, haemorrhage...

Now we are on the wrong side of birth control stats as well so it has been hard to look at the good side of stats and see the potential for good rather than bad.

I completely understand this feeling of being on the wrong side of statistics and suddenly 99.5% chance of healthy pregnancy looks like bad odds.

I think I’m going insane.

I had my first positive test on Thursday. I’ve been testing every day since then, hoping I’ll get to see line progression and they’re all exactly the same. A positive line - but fairly faint. I’ve even taken them in the evening as well / not with first morning urine and no change. Is this a brand thing? I used cheapie wandfo ones I got off Amazon. In case you were wondering how insane I’ve gone - I made DH pee on one just to check he didn’t get a positive too to prove the sticks aren’t faulty 🤣

@TamsynR hope your exams are going well so far! That's very disciplined to wait until your exams are over. I get how you just can't be confident in a continuing positive pregnancy.
All my thoughts are qualified with - if this pregnancy continues.

@OnNaturesCourse please vent away. I'm so sorry you have been through such a traumatic experience, and now faced with this difficult decision. It's so incredibly unfair.

Glad to hear that you are receiving good care from midwives etc. though. It sounds like you are in good hands, and I hope you get all the support you need.

Having all the horrible symptoms, on top of the trauma, feels just unfair. I have always been told that suffering with nausea is associated with higher likelihood of a successful pregnancy though - and from a Google that looks to be true . I know that might not be a comfort though.

@IDontDrinkTea I'm not sure, sorry. I'd definitely try another brand to see if that helps.

@IDontDrinkTea I had the same super faint lines with no progression I ended up waiting a day or two and doing a clear blue which come up 1-2 weeks then waited a week or so and doing another one and it saying 2-3 weeks, I've stepped away from the tests now I've had two previous miscarriages and pregnancy tests didn't tell me anyway so I'll just drive myself crazy 😂 xx

@IDontDrinkTea I had barely any progression for a week then suddenly it started. Still wasn't blaring though. I got a dye stealer with my first pregnancy early on but in my second and third I didn't, and so far in this one I haven't (but at 6 weeks I've ran out of tests lol)

@BreezyLemonHelper yes, I have heard that too. I had it badly in the pregnancy I lost BUT I take that as my body was doing everything it could but baby was just too good/ill for the world. I had the symptoms right up until my contractions started and she'd passed atleast a few days beforehand - my body was just trying everything it could to hold on. I had it milder in my first, and barely at all in my second. Seems to be girl pregnancies that do it to me...

Bad news. Another MMC confirmed at my 12wk scan

@Figtree11 so so sorry xx

@Figtree11 oh I'm so so sorry to hear this how awful. My darling I'm sending you such a big hug. It's just utterly shit. I'm absolutely gutted for you 😞

@Figtree11 sending you strength and love - that is so cruel and unfair.

So sorry @Figtree11, that’s gutting 🙁 I hope you’re getting all the support you need.

@Figtree11 I'm so very sorry. That's just awful, how heartbreaking. You've been such a support on this thread, I hope you have good people around you to support you during this difficult time. Sending love xxx

I am so, so sorry for your loss @Figtree11 ♥️ I hope they’re taking good care of you x

Oh @Figtree11 im so sorry for your loss my love, thats an awful thing to happen. I hope you're being well cared for by everyone around you❤️

So sorry to hear your news @Figtree11 . Hoping you can take a bit of time to yourself over the next few days.

Thank you all. I’m so so heartbroken. I had such a good feeling about this, and I can’t believe it’s happened again. I’m so worried that I’ll never be able to have a baby.
I’m having a d&c tomorrow

@Figtree11 I'm so sorry. 😔 There are no words. It's just not bloody fair. Take care of yourself ❤️‍🩹

Oh I'm so sorry @Figtree11. It's so incredibly unfair.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. 💗

It's so cruel to have got to 12wks and then find out. Do you know if little one had stopped at a similar gestation to last time? Did they say anything about further investigations at this point? It's really so heartbreaking , especially when you were feeling quite good about it. Horrible as it is, please don't give up. Two in a row is horrendously bad luck but lots of women still go on to have healthy babies, and I'm sure there is a little rainbow baby in your future. 💕 Sending you so much love 💕

Thank you all

@SnookyPook thank you, I’m just so devastated I don’t know how to get through this.
Similarish gestation. Last time was 8wks, this time 9+1. The progesterone I was put on hasn’t done anything, and I wonder if it masked the MC. All they’ve said so far is they’ll send it off for testing to make sure it’s or molar or anything like that. And a letter about tommys miscarriage clinic in Coventry (im in the midlands). So I’ll need to make an appointment with my GP to get them to refer me

@Figtree11 I really am so very sorry. I hope you've got good support around you. It might also be worth asking if you can be referred to a bereavement midwife or anything, I asked for some support after my last loss and had an appointment with a truly lovely lady and basically just cried at her for an hour while I talked through my losses. It was very cathartic. She was also able to put me on a waiting list for a clinical psychologist for some more in-depth support although in the end I didn't go ahead with that as I fell pregnant again.

I've heard fantastic things about the Tommy's miscarriage clinic so I think that's really positive that they've referred you there. Obviously you would rather not be in a position to need them but given that you are, I think it's a really hopeful step that will hopefully lead to answers for you and a healthy little rainbow baby when the time is right. 💗

Again, lots of love, especially as you get through tomorrow. It's ok to be devastated and distraught and heartbroken and whatever else you are feeling. You are right in the middle of it all and it's shit. But you are stronger than you think and time will soften the grief, even if that seems unimaginable right now. Right now, feel everything you need to feel and accept all the love and support you are offered 💗

Aww @Figtree11 this is the worst news, I'm so sorry you're going through this again.

@Figtree11 I’m so so sorry, I have no words - I just agree with everything above and I can’t tell you how heartbroken I am for you to hear this news x

@Figtree11
i am so unbelievably sorry that you are having to go through this again.
I hope you have some great support around you. Will be thinking of you today ❤️
sending you love and hugs xxxx