Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

How is everyone doing today? I’ve been feeling pretty rubbish & sick for the past few days but not felt as bad today, just the odd wave of nausea.
Currently taking progesterone & finding it a bit of a faff but really hoping it means I have a good outcome this time 🤞🏻

Hope you are doing as well as you can @H20202 I have everything crossed for you for your scan tomorrow

Good, thanks @Figtree11 !

Had a scan this am because they were worried that it was another ectopic and they were able to confirm that it's in the right place. Such a huge relief after everything that we've been through that both me and my husband burst into tears haha

Still super early (dates unclear put probs 5+2ish) so they can only see the yolk sack. Countdown is on for the next scan in 2 weeks to see if it's growing properly.

The waves of nausea are bizarre aren't they? No rhyme or reason to them that I can find other than my body now seems to hate chocolate. Sob.

@Figtree11 ahh thank you so much for thinking of me. I’m still symptomless and having some cramps in the night. No more bleeding just few bits of brown when I wipe.
we’re prepared for the worst tomorrow and i spent so much time crying Sunday I feel I’ve come to terms with it so tomorrow won’t be a shock. I’ll be just relieved to know either way. Leaving women in limbo for so long is honestly terrible.
I’ll post an update tomorrow but thank you again and I hope all is good with you xxxx

That’s great news @30somethingttc I bet you are so relieved. I also cried at my scan last week when I found out things were looking good haha. Hopefully at your next scan you’ll see some nice progress!
Yeah the waves of nausea are odd! I am having some real aversions, can’t stomach tea or coffee, and usually I have multiple cups of tea a day, not had one in weeks now.

@H20202 I’m glad the bleeding has subsided. Please do keep us updated how you get on, will be thinking about you. It really isn’t fair how long you have to wait. My bleeding started on Saturday last week & my scan wasn’t until the Wednesday because of bank holiday & needing to go through my GP. It always seems to happen to me on a weekend as it did before!

@30somethingttc and others thanks for your scan advice. I think the advice "do whatever makes you feel better" kinda sticks. Sure the relief (if there is any) will only be brief but then why should I make myself suffer like this and wait for 1 scan when 2 is reasonable?

@H20202 I am glad you are feeling calm, but I'm so sorry you've had to go through this stress and grief. We are all just hoping with everything we've got for good news tomorrow, but we are all here for you to chat it through if not, we've all been there in different ways :( hope you sleep well tonight xxx

@Confusedandtired90 that's such amazing news and I'm so happy for you - and sad that it had to be so difficult to get to this stage xx

@Figtree11 I'm so glad you're on the progesterone and feeling positive for you xxx

5+3, my breasts are barely sore, I have still had no nausea, I am having food preferences, some tiredness, emotions, mood swings and massive bloating, constipation and gas (all the sexy ones). This mimics my MMC and not my successful pregnancy. I went through most of the day sure it has stopped developing. Then not entirely sure by end of day - for no particular reason. The nausea is key for me, without it I genuinely feel like an idiot for ever thinking I might be properly pregnant. Feeling low. Occasionally up but mainly glum :(

Thank god for this place as I wait for any kind of outcome...

I’m sorry you’re struggling @MOGMOGMOG85 these early weeks when you’ve had a loss are just awful.
I am still overthinking everything as well. I don’t think there is a way of getting through it unfortunately apart from trying to get through each day & know that each day is one step closer

I’m ok thanks @Figtree11! riding the wave of emotions that you mention @MOGMOGMOG85, hopeful and positive one minute, convinced I’m not actually pregnant the next and scrutinising all symptoms (minimal for me at 6+1: sore boobs, waves of nausea and some food aversion - but not like the needing to wee all the time and insomnia I had with DC1). Feeling proud of myself for acknowledging this pregnancy though by getting in touch with EPU and booking my viability scan for Wednesday.

A really good sign for you @Confusedandtired90 and I hope things progress well over the next couple of weeks.

Thinking of you tomorrow @H20202 🤞

@MOGMOGMOG85 I wrote in my journal with this pregnancy at around 7wks that it was most similar to my MMC which wasn't filling me with confidence. I had no nausea this time at all and was sure it was a bad sign. Yet here I am... 22wks today 🙏🏼🌈 Every pregnancy is different. A previous bad outcome doesn't write the script for this new one. ❤️

@H20202 thinking of you for tomorrow 🙏🏼💕

Got everything crossed for you @H20202
hope the scan goes well. Xxx

Hi ladies, sadly joining this group after a private scan at 10 weeks yesterday revealed a MMC at 8 weeks. I’ve had early MC before but never a missed one, so this has well and truly floored me. I’m awaiting an appointment with the EPAU on Thursday so just walking around with a dead baby inside me until then 💔😔

I’m 36, please give me hope that this wasn’t my last chance. Feeling absolutely broken.

@Jellybelly888 I'm so sorry to hear of your loss - it's absolutely heartbreaking and I'm so sorry you have to go through that. I had a MMC last year and my baby had stopped developing a month before I found out so I absolutely get the shock and pain you are feeling right now. I hope EPAU treat you kindly and that the next steps don't drag on for you. Sending you lots of love. Take all the time you need to grieve and recover. 💕

This whole thread can serve as hope for you as we are all pregnant again after going through situations like yours. In my case, I had 3 losses last year and then surprisingly got a BFP I wasn't expecting about 4 weeks before I turned 38. I'm currently 22wks. Others on here are currently navigating first scans and recent news of BFPs that they can rarely hope to believe. Pregnancy after loss can be a bit harder but there is a wonderful community of support when it comes to it.

In case it's not quite the right headspace for you as you navigate your fresh loss, there are also some wonderful support and TTC after loss threads where you might see some stories from people at a similar stage to you. But you are more than welcome to hang around here too 💗

Sending you loads of love and good wishes for the future and hoping your rainbow baby will come along quickly once you are ready to meet them. 💗

I’m so sorry for your loss @Jellybelly888 it really is the toughest of things.

@H20202 well be thinking of you today - best of luck!

No growth since 6week scan when we saw heartbeat and no heartbeat today (8+2). Expecting it but still heartbroken. They’re hoping as I have already bled over the weekend that things will pick up again and I can pass naturally.

cant thank you all enough for thinking of me today and checking in, you’re a truly lovely bunch and I wish you so much luck with your pregnancies xxx

Oh @H20202 I'm so very very sorry to hear that 😔 Even with psyching yourself up for it there is just no way to make that news any better is there. I hope you have some really good support around you and that you are able to get some further investigations or help going forwards to ensure the next little one sticks. 😔 Sending you a massive hug. 💕

Ah @H20202 I'm so so sorry. No matter how much we prepare ourselves it's still so awful 😞 I hope things continue naturally for you and you have lots of support around. Take care of yourself ❤️‍🩹

@SnookyPook thank you so much, you’ve really helped.

if anyone had the links to the right forum for me I’d be so grateful - I just seem to be going in circles looking for it xx

@Jellybelly888 sorry I'm just seeing your post now. I'm so sorry that you're going through this😞. We have all been there and it's horrendous. I think mmcs especially when they come as a shock in a scan when you're not prepared. I hope the next few days and weeks go as ok as can be expected for you. Mind yourself xx

@H20202 I'm so very very sorry lovely. That's heartbreaking. Like others have said, I hope you have lots of good people around to look after you during this really difficult time. The sun will come out again, but it will take some time. Look after yourself lovely, sending all the love xxx

Oh @H20202 im so so sorry. Nothing I can say will help, but just know we know exactly how you feel. It is the absolute worst. Sending you so much love. Will be thinking of you.

So sorry @Jellybelly888 i also had a MMC found at 10 wks. It is the worst feeling in the world. On the miscarriage & pregnancy loss forum I found the thread called ‘support thread for those experiencing or recently experiencing a MC/MMC super supportive. They are a lovely bunch so definitely take a look there

@Jellybelly888 I'm so sorry for your new loss. We all know how devastating it is. Sending you love and strength. I had two consecutive losses last year, I found the "trying to get pregnant" board helpful for when I was ready to TTC again (we went straight away as I felt ready and I'm 40 this summer). This is the TTC board https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception
There is a loss/miscarriage board but I found there wasn't much traffic here and I didn't find it that helpful for me. But I know different things work for different people. https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage
Lots of us ladies on this board have sadly had more than one loss. I promise there is hope, but we know it's such an emotional roller coaster. I have also found the Tommy's website very helpful for info, statistics and support.

@Jellybelly888 I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a MMC found at 9 weeks and I had to carry my baby for over a week before I could get my medical management so I know how painful it is to have wait knowing what you know. You've been pointed in the right direction by other posters - the support for those having a miscarriage thread on the miscarriage board helped me so much in the initial few weeks and then I moved onto the Conception board. There are a few TTC after loss threads there where people will totally get how you feel. The only thing I can say to you is that it won't always feel as sore as this, but be kind to yourself - it's a huge loss and you need to work through the pain and grief x

@H20202 I'm so sorry it wasn't good news 🩷 how utterly heartbreaking and shit. I hope things progress naturally and you're able to get lots of support and comfort from those around you. Thinking you x

Shit @H20202 I'm so so sorry. That's awful :( I'm so sorry, I know you've had another very similar loss, is it your second? What have they said to you about it? I only had one loss but they basically said to me a MC at 6 weeks is very normal and they wouldn't consider it abnormal until 3 in a row. Which - the idea of having to wait for 3 losses is terrifying. But on the other hand statistically 2 losses at that stage is actually "normal" (whilst no less horrendous) and most likely doesn't mean anything is 'wrong'. But I apologise as I don't know your history so I apologise if I'm totally off the mark.

Horrendous news. Please do come back on here if you feel you need, although of course we will understand if you decide not to. Sending so much strength for you in navigating this horrendous time, I do believe women who experience these kind of losses are the strongest mothers going - incredible people I've met on these threads, and the kindest most generous women too...

Take good care of yourself xxx

@Jellybelly888 any loss is horrific but MMC is such a cruel one. My first pregnancy was an MMC, detected at 8 weeks with no warning, embryo was 6 weeks. I can't describe how traumatic that scan was. Deciding how to proceed is entirely personal. I decided to go naturally and sadly it was a further 3 weeks before it started, but it completed naturally and i feel it was the right choice for me. However if I had to make the choice with this pregnancy I may want to speed things up - I haven't decided..

As for hope at 36 - I had my son at 35, I know so many women who've had babies over 40 - it's so common. The fear is real that you might not have a successful pregnancy - I totally understand, especially after this destabilising news that completely takes the wind out of you. But personally I think with no medical reason to worry an early mc on it's own certainly doesn't mean its your last chance xxx

@Jellybelly888 just wanted to add, I had my DS when I was 37 and a half (after a previous MMC with a blighted ovum) and I have many friends who have had babies at 37, 38, 39 and 41. I asked my GP to run some bloods after my latest loss, so might be worth checking with your GP if they can do anything. Mine all came back clear. Some nhs recurrent MC clinics may also take referrals after 2 losses for women over 35 (mine won't sadly, but I know some do). All my losses have been slightly different (and my latest 2 sounds similar to you, a spontaneous early MC and then MMC at 9.3 weeks). I've put them down to very bad luck. Really don't give up hope. Everything crossed for you.

@Jellybelly888 this one is a nice thread

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/5022335-cd1-ttc-after-loss-carry-on-thread-3