Pregnancy after loss support

[Hopingrae]

Hi ladies, I've recently found out I'm pregnant again after 2 losses in a row. I'm very lucky to have a DS and I had another MC before I had him. So 3 losses in total. I'm only 4+4, but got faint positive 11 days ago at 9dpo and it feels like I've been pregnant for aaaages but time is moving so slowly. We've booked an early scan when I'll be 8 weeks exactly so waiting it out until then, and hoping nothing happens in between. I wondered if anyone else is in a similar position and wanted to share this early journey with me. I've decided not to tell anyone this time round, a lot of my close friends are dealing with newborns or their own ivf journeys and I don't want to add any load to anyone. But it feels like a huge load to me so would love to share with someone!

@Jellybelly888 also, under talk topics, the pregnancy and miscarriage forum is under the 'Body and Soul' section (I never knew how to find it!!) Hope you're doing ok today. X

@MOGMOGMOG85 thank you so much and so sorry you’ve been through all this too. It’s utterly devastating 😞

Thank you also to @Bugdem123 and @SnookyPook for your kind words. Xx

@H20202 I am so unbelievably sorry for what you're going through. It's just ridiculously unfair. I hope the process from here is straightforward and quick, so you're able to start processing it all. I'm thinking of you.

@H20202 I’m so sorry that it’s not the news that you were hoping for. It’s so cruel.

I know that no words will make it feel any better but I’ll be thinking of you x

@Jellybelly888 so sorry for your loss.
I also had a MMC last year and just felt completely side swiped by the news.
I hope they support you now and going forward. Sending you hugs!!

@H20202 so sorry to hear your news.
I hope the hospital are looking after you too and you have good support around you.

so sorry for both your losses and will be thinking of you ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

@Jellybelly888 I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve had two MMCs and they are so cruel. As others have said, if your GP is open to the idea they may run some bloods (I used my age as a reason), and it’s worth exploring any mental health options available. If you have any questions about next steps let me know, I had two MVAs as I wanted to feel like I was doing something.

@H20202 I am so, so sorry to see your update. It is horribly unfair. If this is your second loss it’s definitely worth approaching your GP, whilst the standard guidance is 3 MCs to be considered for testing, there has been a paper making strong recommendations for testing earlier especially in specific circumstances (age, how close together the MCs were, etc). But all in good time - right now I hope you have support around you x

Hey everyone, I am so sorry to hear of some sad news sending all of those love and strength during this really hard time, it's just not fair 😔

I've had a bit of a rough week, still hanging in there, rushed into hospital yesterday with a terrible fever and shivers, felt like an infection was somewhere and I was so so scared. Thankfully I was seen within 5 hours and my cervix was closed and they did bloods, sent my urine off and sent me on my way with some antibiotics which I pray will sort out what ever is going on. I am so so scared it's harmed the Abby because I've never felt so ill and in so much pain in my tummy area. I have a scan on Friday and I'm just petrified they'll say that the baby hasn't made it, just wish this process was easier. I have a hematoma which is stressing me out constant light spotting and not this, do you ever feel like a break is needed!! X

Thank you so much for your kind words everyone and your support, it means a lot. Another 48 hours and I suppose we will have some answers and a plan to move forward. Spoken to my midwife today and she’s made me feel uneasy because she mentioned that the EPAU would have to do two scans with at least 5 days apart. I asked her if that was baby size specific and she didn’t seem to know. I hope she’s wrong and I feel I trust what you’ve all said about the baby being over 7mm. She seemed a bit clueless about the whole process to be honest, although she was kind and promised me next time I’m pregnant that I’ll be under the EPAU due to my history. She said I should have been this time, but that’s not really a helpful thing to say 🤦‍♀️☹️

@Rockyslife I’m so sorry to hear you’re poorly. I hope it will be some comfort that I had gastroenteritis when I was early pregnant with my DS and had to be on antibiotics, he was absolutely fine. Sending love xx

@Jellybelly888 was your scan recently a private one? I found out at a private scan about my MMC. I was 10wks measuring 8wks. I then went to the EPU who confirmed I was 8wks with no heartbeat. They then got someone more senior to come & review the sonogram & they both confirmed it was 8wks & no heartbeat and so that meant I didn’t have to go back for another scan as there was no possibility of it being viable. I personally chose medical management which I did at home the next day.Hopefully you will have the same experience with not needing to go back for another scan.
Sending lots of love ❤️ x

@Rockyslife really sorry to hear how poorly you have been! Babies survive so much, I know of a couple of people who have either not known they are pregnant & been on mega high strength medicines, and someone else in a really bad car crash, and in both cases the babies were fine. Hoping for the same outcome for you

@Figtree11 that is exactly the same with me yesterday. Was meant to be 10 weeks, baby measured 8 weeks with no heartbeat 😔 I’m going to the EPAU on Thursday afternoon as that’s the first slot available.

It’s a relief to hear you didn’t have to wait another week for a rescan, I’m just so sorry this has happened to you too. It’s absolutely devastating and I feel like I won’t ever be happy again at the moment 💔😔 Also the mistrust of my body has absolutely ruined my confidence in being able to carry another baby.

@Jellybelly888 i really hope you have the same experience, as having to wait yet again for a scan when you know the outcome isn’t fair. I think they will say the same to you that they did to me.
Thank you - it’s just horrific isn’t it. I was in a lot of grief for a long time. I am lucky that I have got pregnant again, but not a day goes by when I don’t worry. And I think about my MC a lot and think about what stage I would be at now. And it’s such a cliche but time is a healer, and it won’t feel like it for a while, but you’ll start having more days that are good compared to ones that are bad.
Before the MC I wasn’t a member of mumsnet, but I have found it a great support on here, it really does help talking to people who know exactly what you are going through x

Thank you again everyone you’ve all been so lovely 💔

@MOGMOGMOG85 yes second loss in 8ish months. We had an ectopic last summer. I already had a fertility referral in funnily enough (although had to battle with gp for it) as we have been TCC for a few years and by January this year I was starting to panic as I’d turned 37 and felt we didnt necessarily have lots of time left to just wait for nature. I shouldn’t have had to battle mind as the guidelines in my area are over 36 and TTC for 6months…

anyway, hoping they’ll still see me, I think my appointment is may - it would be good to get some further testing at least just incase.

xx

@Jellybelly888 to add, if helpful, i found out about my first MMC on a private scan, went into EPU who confirmed it and I was offered a choice - MVA (under local, same day), D&C (under general, later that week) or medical management at home. I went for the MVA which wasn’t comfortable but wasn’t terrible either, and was glad to have it ‘over’ with. But I didn’t need to wait for multiple scans and they just confirmed with two sonographers. Thinking of you x

@Rockyslife Sorry you’ve had such a rough time of it! I hope you can rest up and feel better soon. Babies are tiny at this stage so I hope is safe burrowed in there 🤞

@Rockyslife so sorry you've been so poorly. I hope the antibiotics kick in quickly and that you feel lots better very soon. I've heard of people being really poorly and little ones being absolutely fine, so hopefully your little bean is doing great still and you get reassurance asap. X

@Rockyslife you poor thing that sounds awful! Between that and the spotting you really deserve a break 😣 Hope the antibiotics have kicked in and you're feeling a little better now.

I had a private scan yesterday as I couldn't wait another 2 weeks for my 16 week one, I've been very worried since I came off the progesterone after my 12 week appointment but thankfully everything looks ok. I don't think the anxiety will ever leave but I hope as each day/week passes we all start to feel a little more hopeful 🙏

I hope everybody else is doing ok x

@Sez281 really glad you're scan went well yesterday, what a relief that must have been.

@Rockyslife that sounds like a horrible experience. Hope you're staying too feel better. I've had 2 different sets of antibiotics in this pregnancy, GP reassured me there's no evidence they're not safe in pregnancy. But I get your worries, I felt similar.

I've had some watery pinkish brown discharge this morning which has made me quite anxious. DH is out at work I'm not sure what to do. I've had a bit of a tummy ache but not sure if it's just bowel related, I ate quite a lot of sugary rubbish yesterday. I was told I had a resolving subchorionic haematoma at private scans (most recently 6 days ago) but I don't feel overly reassured. Wondering if I should ask gp for epu referral or just see what happens over today. My 12 will scan is in 12 days and I'm worries they'll tell me to just wait until then.

I'm so scared for my scan Friday, I think cause I'm having a little bit of spotting every day still, have a hematoma and had an infection I've just got it in my head that something is soon going to happen 😭

@Rockyslife I hope the antibiotics kick in soon - that sounds awful. As others have said when the baby is tiny it's so well protected in your body and I'm crossing everything for Friday for you - please do update us. I hope you are getting some rest and I hope time passes quickly until Friday

@SnookyPook I missed your previous reply to me, but I found it really helpful so thank you for looking at your diaries! Keeping a diary is such a useful thing to do isn't it. You're right every pregnancy is different and the sad truth is we have no idea what's going on in there until a scan...

@H20202 I'm so sorry it's been such a horrendous journey for you - years trying, then ectopic, now this :( and to add to that it baffles me why you would have to push for a fertility referral?? Just such an unnecessary added stress! Like you say its 6 months over 35.. I had just had my miscarriage when I got my fertility appointments through so I don't see why they wouldn't see you and do some tests. I'm so glad you've got that in the pipeline - you do really need answers. With my fertility everything came back fine - I had these huge fibroids and was convinced they were an issue but they said they weren't, and in the end they were right. I hope you can get some clarity at least, and I'm really praying everything completes as easily as it can... so with a previous ectopic I guess this is your first physical miscarriage you'll have to go through if that makes sense? I'm sure if you have any questions we'd all be happy to chat as it sounds like we've got a real range of experiences here. Going through it naturally for me gave me a weirdly positive experience of trusting my body could do this right. I felt proud of myself in a way. But i know it isn't always like that for everyone. My grief didn't hit me until 2 or 3 weeks after the miscarriage. I guess it's different for everyone. I'm really sending you strength for what you've got to face ahead, it's so unfair it has to be this hard for you xx

@Jellybelly888 hoping you're doing as OK as you can today xx

I’m joining the scanxiety wagon to. Mines next Tuesday and I’m just so worried it’s not going to go well.
I’m very nervous about the screening. Because I have a vanishing triplet there’s barely any info available but what is says the screening will be unreliable. I’ve contacted loads of nipt places in London and they all said they won’t do it because it won’t be accurate 😔
also just generally scared as we haven’t got this far before and feel like it’s all too good to be true.

Feeling kinda positive today. Its somehow sunk in (and thanks for everyones advice) that i really can't know if it will be OK or not, but statistically I've a 3 in 4 chance of being OK. Trying not to catastriphise. I've also finally gone off coffee this morning - had to open the doors to get the smell out of the house. And def feeling just the slightest hint of queasy so I guess that's given me hope too.

We got back from our holiday in Yorkshire yesterday late afternoon, and things in my garden had sprung into life. I'd asked my neighbour to water my seeds and I had huge courgettes popping up, Sunflowers, Cosmos, basil. It really gave me a lift, and I've decided to throw myself into the garden as my distraction and focus. I took some photos for you all, and also cos I'm proud of myself even if I have doubts about my body right now if that makes sense.

Sending my (currently) sunny vibes to you all who need it right now xxx

@MOGMOGMOG85 I also find gardening really relaxing and a great distraction. Yours is looking great! On my way to my scan now and the nerves have crept in. Will update later on x

@MOGMOGMOG85 I have huge garden envy right now! The only plants that are thriving in mine are weeds haha

I have some light orange / pink discharge this am with a bit of cramping. Started feeling a wee bit crampy after my run last night so trying to stay level headed as it's not loads right now.

Is anyone else keeping up their exercise routine and finding that this happens?

@MOGMOGMOG85 well it was really quite complicated! I bled and went into a&e - My lining had thickened as if I had uterine pregnancy but it was a PUL. A few days after the PUL I began to bleed heavily and had severe cramps, d&v and passed large clots for a few hours. After the last clot had passed it all stopped really abruptly. My hcg plummeted but then it started to rise slowly again.

later they found the ectopic but I had already ‘miscarried’ which was baffling.

it was either me trying to pass the ectopic and shredding the uterine lining or it was herotopic.

I had a termination 10 years ago and took medical management for that so essentially I’ve had two experiences of this. I kind of know what to expect and expecting it to be a little more severe.

thank you so much for offering to talk more though xxx

so shit that i have to keep going through the trials and tribulations of early pregnancy but not actually ever progressing or getting a baby at the end of it 💔