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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

If my partner has kids with social involvement will they be involved with mine ?

186 replies

ConnieC2001 · 27/11/2023 12:20

just that really . Partner is in a custody battle and socials are involved with him and his kids mum. I just found out I’m pregnant again (first with my current partner , I have one from previous relationship) no socials were involved with me, but because they’re involved with his other kids will socials be involved with this new baby ?

OP posts:
ThankYoufortheDay · 27/11/2023 15:39

How do you feel about having another baby so soon after giving birth? What is your relationship like with this new guy? How does he feel about having another baby and the one you already have?

TheShellBeach · 27/11/2023 15:39

Are you prepared to look after four children, two of them babies of almost the same age?
Because that's what's on the cards here.

JanglingJack · 27/11/2023 15:40

ConnieC2001 · 27/11/2023 15:29

I had an uncomplicated birth , one stitch and stopped bleeding after 2 weeks. Me and my child’s dad broke up when I was 6 weeks pregnant , so I’ve been dating my current partner since around 4 months pregnant .
again I was on the pill , so I didn’t expect a pregnancy !

Nobody is judging you. All want what's best for you.
I was a young pregnant Mum, then had my second 15 years later (shocker!).
Questions will be asked. I based my post on you just having met him. However I stick by that you don't need this mess of a relationship. If you are continuing pregnancy you need to know that you'll have him, his ex and his other children in your life forever.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/11/2023 15:43

Just seen you already have a newborn and are pregnant again
Firstly, are you certain is actually a new pregnancy?
In that case I think SS will be involved and when you see the midwife she will contact them
Frankly this is a bit of a mess
You are living with your Mum so is there a chance of securing your own place via social housing?
Absolutely DO NOT move in with him

hellesbells · 27/11/2023 15:44

JanglingJack · 27/11/2023 15:23

However I'm assuming Ireland by the posts.

Why abortion isn't illegal in Ireland

JanglingJack · 27/11/2023 15:46

And @ConnieC2001 Social Services are there to help and support you. Don't be afraid of them. They will be concerned though that 2 babies being born so close together and father's children already being supported. Why did the father not go for custody? Why did Mum not lose her kids if she's that bad?

Many questions, only you can answer them in your heart.

Venomous · 27/11/2023 15:46

JanglingJack · 27/11/2023 15:23

However I'm assuming Ireland by the posts.

Abortion is legal n Ireland.

diddl · 27/11/2023 15:50

Why is travel not an option Op?

JanglingJack · 27/11/2023 15:50

hellesbells · 27/11/2023 15:44

Why abortion isn't illegal in Ireland

Show quote history

Sorry it was when I had to help a friend a few years ago.

I've just seen it is, up to 12 weeks.

The OP posts come across as she is living in the UK.

Valeriesknickknacks · 27/11/2023 15:58

They may want to do an assessment to rule out any potential safeguarding issues. They are unlikely to stay involved unless they think that you are a harm to this baby. His exes conduct shouldn't effect you at all. The only thing that might get in the way is (rightly) if there is domestic violence. What kind of accusations has she made? You say there have been recriminations both ways

wutheringkites · 27/11/2023 15:59

How can anyone answer this accurately without knowing what country op is in?

TheShellBeach · 27/11/2023 16:01

Is your first baby even out of hospital yet?

ScentlessAprentice · 27/11/2023 16:05

"The OP posts come across as she is living in the UK."

So then why did you assume that the OP is in Ireland? Ireland is not part of the UK.

dublino · 27/11/2023 16:07

Abortion is not illegal in the Republic of Ireland

MercyIsEliminated · 27/11/2023 16:09

It would be helpful if you give a rough geographical location. Most people are assuming you live in the UK, but you mentioned that abortion is illegal where you are so you must be living elsewhere. Social services have different criteria and guidelines in other countries. People can't really give advice about the involvement of social services if they don't know where you are.

TBH I would think seriously about whether to continue the pregnancy and the relationship. Depending on your location, you may be able to have a termination in another country. But the situation with your partner, his children, and his ex sounds very concerning. Since your baby is so little, I would concentrate all attention on him/her.

JanglingJack · 27/11/2023 16:10

ScentlessAprentice · 27/11/2023 16:05

"The OP posts come across as she is living in the UK."

So then why did you assume that the OP is in Ireland? Ireland is not part of the UK.

Edited

Well duh!

I have an Irish passport. My Dad was Irish. The assumption came from her post, the recognition of Child Services etc.

This is not helping anyone, least of all @ConnieC2001

I'm cooking dinner.

More constructive help would be better for OP, she has my messages of support. I shall leave it there.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 27/11/2023 16:11

Abortion is illegal in Northern Ireland, which is in the UK, she may well be there.

dublino · 27/11/2023 16:12

And the republic of ireland isn't in the uk

JanglingJack · 27/11/2023 16:14

ScentlessAprentice · 27/11/2023 16:05

"The OP posts come across as she is living in the UK."

So then why did you assume that the OP is in Ireland? Ireland is not part of the UK.

Edited

Actually I had assumed Ireland rather than another part of the world as OPs post sounded very Irish or British.

Bloody nitpicking.

Do you want my surname and my Dad's place of birth?

I see Ireland as home too. Do you need anything else?

I'm sorry @ConnieC2001 if this is all going a bit crackers whilst you've got so much on.

MercyIsEliminated · 27/11/2023 16:14

I think abortion is legal in Northern Ireland up to 12 weeks.

JanglingJack · 27/11/2023 16:15

dublino · 27/11/2023 16:12

And the republic of ireland isn't in the uk

See a few posts above 🙄 not the last post.

ScentlessAprentice · 27/11/2023 16:17

"Actually I had assumed Ireland rather than another part of the world as OPs post sounded very Irish or British.

Bloody nitpicking.

Do you want my surname and my Dad's place of birth?

I see Ireland as home too. Do you need anything else?

I'm sorry@ConnieC2001if this is all going a bit crackers whilst you've got so much on".

Nope, I have no interest in any of that.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 27/11/2023 16:21

ConnieC2001 · 27/11/2023 12:51

socials are involved due to the children’s mother . She was on drugs (clean now) but still has her kids living in awful condition. Then obviously she was throwing out accusations, as was he, it’s all a bit of a mess that I don’t know much about . This pregnancy wasn’t at all planned as we only just started dating

first of all: Congratulations (on the uncomplicated birth of your child)!! 💐💐

she was throwing out accusations

seems like social services might be involved due to both parents (whether that is justified /warranted or not is an entirely different question).

It therefore seems plausible for them to be involved with your 2nd baby as well.

edit: having reread the update… I am incredibly confused about the timeline and about a few other issues as well. 🤔 😳

CombatLingerie · 27/11/2023 16:21

Please don’t let any of this be real.

diddl · 27/11/2023 16:24

CombatLingerie · 27/11/2023 16:21

Please don’t let any of this be real.

That would be the best scenario!