Pregnant and homeless pls help

[Queenxxx]

Hey guys, so basically, my husband, daughter and I live with my mum currently, and I just became pregnant again with my second baby. My mum is not happy at all about this, because I had agreed with her to not get pregnant again until I move out, (because it's so hard for her right now keeping all of us in her house as well as my other siblings.) so she basically doesn't accept my pregnancy and is kicking me out. She has given me two days to leave the house. So I will be pregnant and homeless with my 19 month old and husband😭what shall I do? Me and my husband can't afford to private rent otherwise we wouldn't even be living with my mum right now. I don't work and receive universal credit and carers allowance because I am my mom's carer. My husband does work but only gets minimum wage. And my biggest problem is that my husband is from abroad. And when applying for his visa, the home office asked where he would live after arriving in the UK. We said he would live with my mum, and she was required to give written confirmation of that, which she did. She literally wrote in the letter that he can live in her house. We even had to have a property inspection to make sure there will be enough space for my husband, my baby and I as well as my mom and siblings. So basically, he wouldn't have even got the visa if my mother had not consented to him living here. And now, 6 months after he's arrived, this has happened...she wants us out of her house...will this effect his immigration status or anything? Will they blame us for this? Will they help us? Someone please help I'm so so so so upset and stressed, and I feel like such a bad mom to my babies😭

So did you quit or go off sick?

Is the issue paying the rent on your husband's wages or getting the money together for the deposit?

Can you have a reasonable conversation with your mum and ask her for another 5/6 months to sort your shit out a bit before you move out, then in that time take some responsible action to get yourselves sorted out?

@Queenxxx Is it possible your Mum is a bit in shock and might feel differently? How have things been since that conversation?

So what were you doing for work 8weeks ago?

She still stands by what she said, she's not taking no for an answer

She's given her daughter only two days to find a new place. It's impossible in only two days. She's deliberately making her pregnant daughter homeless.

Also, she's 8 weeks pregnant. The house won't get more crowded for another 7 months. Why not give her, say, 4 months to get a new place?

I can't believe you're saying that op is actually doing her mother a disservice by being a carer. When I temporarily had a carer (I've temporarily needed full time care from my dh, more than once) I've been really very grateful. I would much rather that then him paying for a stranger to be my carer.

Just wanted to send you some love and support.
Reach out to as many charities, housing support etc as possible, you’ll get through this xx

When did you tell her? If it's today leave it, get out of her space and try again tomorrow.

How severe are her care needs?

You don't even understand how much this means to me. I'm literally sitting here crying because of some peoples harsh comments as well as my own worries and pain. And this comment actually put a smile on my face

With all due respect, you can't dictate what people can or can't write on a public forum. If you're sensitive then don't post. Did you seriously think nobody would question any of this?

The council have a duty to help him as well as long as they accept he is homeless, he meets immigration conditions and is here legally (for example with indefinite leave to remain or refugee status). Or is he an EU citizen?

Depending on where you live you may or may not end up together. The priority will be housing for you and your child and emergency housing may take the form of a single room in a shared house or a room in a hostel.

Would your mother really see you on the street in 2 days? Could you sit down and come to an agreement that you will leave on x date before the baby arrives and then your DH puts in all the hours and finds a second job so you get a deposit to rent someone - even if it’s a tiny studio. Sorry, no idea where you live and how feasible that is but I would really view emergency housing as a last resort. It is usually not very pleasant.

Any budge on deadline though?Could she give you more time? I agree with @Mummy08m - 7 months before the baby comes...

There’s no need for that @Haffiana

In your shoes I'd be terminating. You need a stable home and to be able to stand on your own two feet, not to be leaning on your mum and then the taxpayer.

Sorry if that's harsh but that's honestly what I'd be doing.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, op.

You can call the Shelter emergency helpline tomorrow as it's open on weekends, 9-5 on Sundays.

In the very short term, you'll have to just stay where you are. Your mum can't physically kick you out in two days. Sod her feelings, frankly, you have to look after yourself and your child.

I really hope a solution comes up very soon

@IHadTheLasagne OP mother has other kids to think about. OPs kids are her own responsibility. It's not fair on her siblings is it?

Ludicrous that you would allow your daughter to live in a shitty hostel room rather than terminate at 8 weeks.

Nasty and unnecessary

This is true. If you can't afford at least a 1 bed on this, could you not move to a cheaper area?

What did you do for work previously?

I'm not saying any of this is ideal..but it is what it is - OP wants to keep her baby. With some serious support, it could be done. I would make a different decision regarding the pregnancy personally, but it's not my place to judge.

Failing to abide by visa conditions can lead to the current visa being cancelled and deported back to country of origin.

I suspect your Dh may not be housed by the council does his visa say something about no recourse to public funds? He’s probably not able to claim help to pay rent/ council tax etc.

Maybe it's ludicrous to you but some people have differing beliefs and would not want to abort their own pregnancy. I'm pro-choice for other women (and it's clear op does NOT choose an abortion) but I would not choose an abortion myself unless medically required.

Please don't be scathing of others' beliefs. Op has already made hers clear. It's possible to point out politely you disagree without using words like ludicrous

Go to your GP and ask for Ondansetron. It's the only thing that stopped my sickness. You'll get fobbed off but keep asking.

Good luck with everything.