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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnant and homeless pls help

367 replies

Queenxxx · 29/07/2023 16:42

Hey guys, so basically, my husband, daughter and I live with my mum currently, and I just became pregnant again with my second baby. My mum is not happy at all about this, because I had agreed with her to not get pregnant again until I move out, (because it's so hard for her right now keeping all of us in her house as well as my other siblings.) so she basically doesn't accept my pregnancy and is kicking me out. She has given me two days to leave the house. So I will be pregnant and homeless with my 19 month old and husband😭what shall I do? Me and my husband can't afford to private rent otherwise we wouldn't even be living with my mum right now. I don't work and receive universal credit and carers allowance because I am my mom's carer. My husband does work but only gets minimum wage. And my biggest problem is that my husband is from abroad. And when applying for his visa, the home office asked where he would live after arriving in the UK. We said he would live with my mum, and she was required to give written confirmation of that, which she did. She literally wrote in the letter that he can live in her house. We even had to have a property inspection to make sure there will be enough space for my husband, my baby and I as well as my mom and siblings. So basically, he wouldn't have even got the visa if my mother had not consented to him living here. And now, 6 months after he's arrived, this has happened...she wants us out of her house...will this effect his immigration status or anything? Will they blame us for this? Will they help us? Someone please help I'm so so so so upset and stressed, and I feel like such a bad mom to my babies😭

OP posts:

Thread gallery

PumpkinSoup21 · 30/07/2023 14:15

Also what do you mean ‘the way she is acting’? What does that even mean? That accidental pregnancies only happen to a certain type of irresponsible person - because that’s manifestly not true.

Ds16dv · 30/07/2023 14:18

diamonds2023 · 30/07/2023 14:03

@Ds16dv It doesn't work like that.
I have been though the homeless route myself with a child and it's very long because they have to do a lot of digging and investigating into a homeless case and at the end it is taken to panel to decide if they are really homeless or not - that takes about 4 months while they are in a hostel.
Thats why as mentioned in my previous post to tell the truth on how the situation is currently and to explain your mum wants you out asap that way they can find a way to house you wether it be with a private landlord working with the council or put you as a priority to be housed and take it from there.
Good luck OP 💐

I have been through homeless route twice. Yes they do have to check everything out that just how it is. Yes thats done during the 56 days. Whilst in emgency accommodation after that they say if they own a duty or not. But yes during that time op /council will try and find op a private rent . If not then she his intimate longer term temporary accommodation.

As said before she won't have a choice if her mum is kicking her out and has no where to go.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/07/2023 14:28

Treesinmygarden · 29/07/2023 19:39

Hardly on the same scale.

Just give it a rest; plenty of people have said that. It's old hat.

Show quote history

@Treesinmygarden
Hardly on the same scale as what?

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/07/2023 14:30

Newshoess · 29/07/2023 23:08

@Downatthefarm I have not even told OP to abort. Please take your manipulation else where. Your entitled to your opinion as am I. All I have said is that OP is responsible for her life and her life choices. I'm sorry but I don't see why her mothers health and her siblings should suffer.

@Mummy08m there's probably a HUGE back story. If OPs mother was that wicked why did she put all 3 of them up in the first place??? There is a difference between someone being nasty and someone reaching breaking point. OPs mum told her adult daughter not to get pregnant that alone screams back story....

“I'm sorry but I don't see why her mothers health and her siblings should suffer.”

they shouldn’t

end of

don’t see how anyone can argue with that

Lillybobs86 · 30/07/2023 14:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

KickingEAP · 30/07/2023 15:23

Christ on a cracker, Mumsnet is wild!

GrinAndVomit · 30/07/2023 15:28

IhaveanewTVnow · 30/07/2023 09:02

We all make choices. If OP really didn’t want to get pregnant she would have used two condoms, etc etc. how do you think other women keep their fertility in control? OP has made the decision to keep the child. I don’t think OPs mum is unreasonable at all. She was probably forced to house the OP, husband and child in order for the husband to stay here. She made an agreement and op broke that agreement. It’s not all about the OP as there are other people whose lives are continually being disadvantaged by the OPs behaviour.

Christ alive.
Please don’t ever give advice on contraception to anyone. Ever.

Feverly · 30/07/2023 16:31

@GrinAndVomit right?! I couldn't believe my eyes when I read that, and then she said it 'worked for me' 🥴🤣

GrinAndVomit · 30/07/2023 17:03

Feverly · 30/07/2023 16:31

@GrinAndVomit right?! I couldn't believe my eyes when I read that, and then she said it 'worked for me' 🥴🤣

Bloody Year 9’s on their school holidays 😂😂

IhaveanewTVnow · 30/07/2023 17:14

GrinAndVomit · 30/07/2023 17:03

Bloody Year 9’s on their school holidays 😂😂

Show quote history

Ha ha I’m 58!!’ And managed to not get accidentally pregnant. Sounds like a man has decided that two condoms don’t work. Certainly worked for us as I couldn’t take the pill etc and then when we stopped I got pregnant easily.

still who cares. At least I took control and ownership of my fertility.

GrinAndVomit · 30/07/2023 17:15

IhaveanewTVnow · 30/07/2023 17:14

still who cares. At least I took control and ownership of my fertility.

Show quote history

Sounds like you need to read more

IhaveanewTVnow · 30/07/2023 17:20

GrinAndVomit · 30/07/2023 17:15

Sounds like you need to read more

Show quote history

Probably better than no contraception. Maybe this is what happened to OP.

everyday is a school day on MN.

GrinAndVomit · 30/07/2023 17:50

IhaveanewTVnow · 30/07/2023 17:20

Probably better than no contraception. Maybe this is what happened to OP.

everyday is a school day on MN.

Show quote history

Withdrawal is better than no contraception. It’s still not a sensible recommendation.

Luxell934 · 30/07/2023 18:19

2 days notice is a-bit harsh, if it’s even true. But even so I guess OPs mum knows that giving 2 days notice or 2 months notice the end result will be the same. Going to the council to be made homeless is her only choice if they can’t afford private rent. OPs mum seems at the end of her tether, she’s generously let the husband stay, even signed his papers for him, who knows what the living situation is like. Maybe they both do fuck all, treat it like an hotel and think they own the place. Maybe it was never supposed to be long term. Either way the mum owns the house and OP does not have a choice in the matter.

Flowergirl0102 · 18/10/2023 21:07

Hi did you sort your accommodation out ? Did you get moved into temporary ?

LizzeyBenett · 19/10/2023 09:44

Again what others have said not saying it to be intentionally cruel but neither if you work you can't afford to put a roof over your head as it is, and you want to bring another child into that... how absolutely irresponsible of you both. You both need to focus on getting Jobs and being able to rent your own home and providing for the child you already have. What's the plan, Live with your mother forever ?

Feverly · 19/10/2023 18:36

Z O M B I E T H R E A D

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