Pregnant and homeless pls help

[Queenxxx]

Hey guys, so basically, my husband, daughter and I live with my mum currently, and I just became pregnant again with my second baby. My mum is not happy at all about this, because I had agreed with her to not get pregnant again until I move out, (because it's so hard for her right now keeping all of us in her house as well as my other siblings.) so she basically doesn't accept my pregnancy and is kicking me out. She has given me two days to leave the house. So I will be pregnant and homeless with my 19 month old and husband😭what shall I do? Me and my husband can't afford to private rent otherwise we wouldn't even be living with my mum right now. I don't work and receive universal credit and carers allowance because I am my mom's carer. My husband does work but only gets minimum wage. And my biggest problem is that my husband is from abroad. And when applying for his visa, the home office asked where he would live after arriving in the UK. We said he would live with my mum, and she was required to give written confirmation of that, which she did. She literally wrote in the letter that he can live in her house. We even had to have a property inspection to make sure there will be enough space for my husband, my baby and I as well as my mom and siblings. So basically, he wouldn't have even got the visa if my mother had not consented to him living here. And now, 6 months after he's arrived, this has happened...she wants us out of her house...will this effect his immigration status or anything? Will they blame us for this? Will they help us? Someone please help I'm so so so so upset and stressed, and I feel like such a bad mom to my babies😭

What part of, it's not an option for the OP to terminate, are you unable to comprehend?!

Well I think any mother who could render her pregnant daughter and toddler granddaughter homeless with a mere two days' notice, must be pretty callous.

@Treesinmygarden

op did not say that in her first post

this is an open forum. People are free to say what they would do in OP’s situation if it were then

I think you need to man up a bit. You’ve got a child and another one on the way with a husband whose immigration status may be questioned. Your mother wants you out. Negotiate a leaving time with her-2 days is obviously not enough. Then contact the council to say you will be homeless. Ask for their advice. But if your mental health is going to be triggered by people asking reasonable questions, then you’re going to be in for a hard time. Your children are depending on you.

Think the whole point of the thread has been lost...@Queenxxx Are you ok?!

I can't tell if your comment is aimed at me or @mellicauli.

The OP has stated she has HG, which I'm sure all of us appreciate means the OP is going to have a very, very rough pregnancy. It's simply not possible for her to look her todder, her DM and herself when she's seriously unwell.

And in this situation, her status as carer is particularly crucial.

The comments absolutely did not pass the vibe check

Because obviously she's not going to say "oh of course, abortion! Why didn't I think of that?" if she already made it clear that the problem was she is that she is having a baby and her mum is therefore asking her to leave. And if you sense that it's not an option for someone, suggesting it is deeply insensitive and inappropriate.

She said it several times and said that she was upset by it and crying.

Some people just seem to want to be cruel for the sake of it.

Or at the end of her tether. The promise to not get pregnant speaks to me of a mother who is exasperated at doing everything to help her daughter, support her and her spouse and child, and facilitate her relationship, and is at breaking point. I suspect this is the thin end of a very long wedge, and if we had the mother’s story, it might have quite a different slant.

Your dh has a job, you could get a job that earns more than carers allowance, you could work around each other. Universal credit will pay 85% of childcare costs if you need to pay for childcare for your child. UC will also pay a rent element. I would look at any kind of private rental you can find, put your name on council and housing association lists asap. Lots of young couples have kids and manage ( with UC help) to not have to live with family.

Yes this was my first thought.

If your husband has no recourse to public funds then no, he won't be included in any homeless/housing application. That doesn't stop you applying though.

If you're mum is kicking you out, you presumably will no longer be her carer, and so can work for the duration of the pregnancy and then get maternity leave?

@PomTiddlyPom I don't think it was me who only read half of it etc. What the OP went on to say, and I have every sympathy for her, was:

"...Also I wouldn't want to risk taking my daughter there because there wouldn't be good healthcare/education for her".

It was the the three words daughter, risk, and education, that made me 'magically jump to conclusions'! Many other people have jumped to far worse conclusions than that. Also, I said "presume", which as far as I know doesn't mean that I am 100% certain about what I am saying...

How long has your husband been in the UK and when is the next stage of the visa process / indefinite leave to remain due?

Prioritise:

• negotiate with your mother for a longer notice period to leave
• find a studio flat/one bedroom/house share to rent so you have somewhere to live

Then you need to work out when you need to apply again for your husband’s legal stay - you’ll need to save up for the application fee plus meet the next stage of legal requirements.

No one is going to deport him immediately you leave your mother’s house but you need to have sorted this out by the next stage in the application.

Good news is for the next stage your husband’s income can count towards the financial requirement unlike in the initial application.

This was what I thought. A mother willing to house her adult daughter, son in law and grandchild is unlikely to be unsympathetic.

Asking her not to get pregnant speaks to her feeling her daughter isn’t known for good decision making.

I'm sick to the back teeth of mumsnetters telling, suggesting and implying somebody should have an abortion. It's sick. What the hell is wrong with you that permits you to say something like that - to a total stranger.

In the real world an abortion is a big thing. On mumsnet its comparable to taking the bins out.

Do you think the OP doesn't know that abortions exist? Do you think the possibility hadn't already entered and then swiftly left her mind?

Nobody has the right to go there, least of all a complete stranger on the Internet. Vile.

Completely pro choice btw. The mothers choice.

That wouldn't make the OP intentionally homeless. Her mother, evicting her for any reason, makes her unintentionally homeless.

This would make sense if she had a son and a daughter. But right now, she only has a daughter.
With all due respect the OP doesn't seem to be the best writer, her tone is somewhat immature and she keeps misusing the word 'effect'. I don't think she meant much by it.
Fair enough if I am wrong, but it's an odd deduction to make, in my humble opinion. And unwarranted

Fair enough, asking them to leave. Not making them homeless at 48 hours' notice.

So your husband arrived in this country 6 months ago after your DM agreed he could live in her house , her one stipulation was you didn't get pregnant. So four months later your pregnant 🤷‍♀️ I can see why your mom is unhappy.

Your post makes no sense whatsoever.

Neither does yours. Call it even?

Honestly, have another look at what you posted. The first part is just baffling (what does a son have to do with it?) and you didn't need to be so harsh at the end.