Pregnant and homeless pls help

[Queenxxx]

Hey guys, so basically, my husband, daughter and I live with my mum currently, and I just became pregnant again with my second baby. My mum is not happy at all about this, because I had agreed with her to not get pregnant again until I move out, (because it's so hard for her right now keeping all of us in her house as well as my other siblings.) so she basically doesn't accept my pregnancy and is kicking me out. She has given me two days to leave the house. So I will be pregnant and homeless with my 19 month old and husband😭what shall I do? Me and my husband can't afford to private rent otherwise we wouldn't even be living with my mum right now. I don't work and receive universal credit and carers allowance because I am my mom's carer. My husband does work but only gets minimum wage. And my biggest problem is that my husband is from abroad. And when applying for his visa, the home office asked where he would live after arriving in the UK. We said he would live with my mum, and she was required to give written confirmation of that, which she did. She literally wrote in the letter that he can live in her house. We even had to have a property inspection to make sure there will be enough space for my husband, my baby and I as well as my mom and siblings. So basically, he wouldn't have even got the visa if my mother had not consented to him living here. And now, 6 months after he's arrived, this has happened...she wants us out of her house...will this effect his immigration status or anything? Will they blame us for this? Will they help us? Someone please help I'm so so so so upset and stressed, and I feel like such a bad mom to my babies😭

It is, and those who receive it are exempt from the minimum income requirement apart from showing they have enough to live on after rent and council tax.

Of course she is! The OP didn't waltz in one day with a newborn. The situation since she discovered OP was pregnant, hasn't changed from the situation beforehand (apart from the sickness).

What disability would you consider severe enough to throw your pregnant daughter and young granddaughter out of your home?

I've no issue with her saying she doesn't want a baby in the house. I probably wouldn't either. But why two days? How the hell is anyone meant to get sorted with accommodation in two days?

For many, many women, the thought of this is just out of the question. I think it's clear from her post that this is just not an option.

I have no words really. OP you really need to think about the bigger picture. Where you will be and your child/children in say 5 years ago.

There's lot of things I want to do, but realistically it's a shit idea to go ahead with. Wants vs needs.

Or if her husband was here on another type of visa, like a student visa, and they lived together during that time.

yes, that should be enough even in London. It’s not going to be a mansion, but you can get a 1bed in the outer zones.

the op needs to consider the welfare of her existing child, what’s the long term plan when you fix the housing issue? The children will need to be fed and clothed etc. she says she doesn’t work now because of hg, what about before the pregnancy??
people should stop bashing ops mum, she sounds like she’s already being giving the family a lot of support and has issues of her own if she needs a carer

Hardly on the same scale.

Just give it a rest; plenty of people have said that. It's old hat.

Her DH is on a spousal visa. He's not an asylum seeker, which suggests that whichever country he came from, it's perfectly safe, and plenty of women have babies there every year. The healthcare just isn't up to the OP's standards.

The OP needs to compromise on something. I sympathise, as it's a shitty situation, but she can't have all the things she wants. Having chosen to keep the baby with HG, it's obvious she can't be her DM's carer, and that has an implication for whether her DM is prepared to house her, and that has an implication for her DH's visa status, and it also has an implication on whether she'll be able to live with him in the same property and/or same country.

I do know how it works, I used to help people fill out the forms online, help them weekly bid for properties, help then get emergency sleeping bags and cutlery plates for temporary accommodation, help them work out how to pay the council tax on temporary accomidantion, which is always very lacking.

The op has been given 2 days to leave and is homeless and needs to be looking at filling out the online forms and getting to her local council to start the process.

Ive had distant family also go through the same process, whilst pregnant, take baby home to temporary accommodation but eventually by the tie baby was 1 get a house with 2 bedrooms with HA and has been their 4 years - it is possible. Not simple or even easy. HA want rent up front and a months rent at that which for many is a very big stumbling block to getting permanent housing. Or people have housing debts rent or council tax for over £500 which bars them from applying for social housing.

I do realise its not simple, but OP needs to start the process, fill out the form and then take each day and each challenge as it comes unfortunately.

Not really.. I know a lot of people who stopped at one because they know they can’t really afford more. Even though they really wanted more. It’s not uncommon actually

But the OP might not be able to get a visa to go and live in his country -just as it’s not so easy for him to just come to the UK.

Do you pay any rent to your Mum? If so, that would be an unlawful eviction which could be a criminal effect. Tell her you are not moving as 2 days isn't enough time to find alternative accommodation. If she wants you to leave she'll need to get a court order (which will probably take quite a long time)

She hasn't stated whether it's impossible, just that she doesn't think the healthcare and education are up to scratch there. Without knowing the details of his home country, it's hard to advise fully... but realistically, if she can't move with him, life is going to be very hard for the next year at least.

ALternatively you could tell her you'll get the baby adopted (and then don't)

The standards for asylum seeking are high unless you can successfully prove persecution for personal characteristics (homosexuality, politics, etc). Plenty of countries are not safe, rife with criminal, gang violence etc but that doesn't allow their countrymen asylum.
Common sense should tell you this but if not, a quick Google.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1240400/maternal-mortality-rates-worldwide-by-country/

Also not every country has free healthcare in the first place.

And the relevance of this to someone who is already pregnant is…

This won't stop the OP from spending the next nine months puking and being unable to provide care for her DM.

Also @noapologies maternity care, etc etc is expensive. A country could be just poor, or have a tinpot government. Asylum isn't provided for humanitrain suffering reasonds otherwise half the world would empty straight into the other half.

I'm utterly shocked at the way posters are advising OP to disrespect her mother just because she's had enough. They had an agreement and OP has breached the terms.

OPs mother could call the police what are you talking about? Just like a partner if it's not their house the police would remove them....

I've no issue with her saying she doesn't want a baby in the house. I probably wouldn't either. But why two days?

Impossible to say, Treesinmygarden; we don't know the back story and there may be a good reason or there may not

We don't know either if OP is really a carer for her mum, or if it's a handle to avoid the income requirement for her OH's visa - either way she won't be able to care if so ill, but whether she's declared this is yet another unknown

In any case OP's not been back for a while, so under the circumstances MNHQ may well have been wise to post the usual warning

I kind of understand your mother - you heavily rely on her - for visa, for housing, for income. Given how ill you are just now from the pregnancy, she probably has to find other carer anyway?
Now you are pregnant again, which severely lowered the chances you wil sort yourself out quickly. And given the housing situation in the UK, there is no chance to get external help for you, unless she makes you homeless and mean it.

The temporary accommodation might be hard, you might be separated from your DP at the beginning, but you will be on the waiting lists as a critical case and have a chance for something better, maybe even before the second baby comes.

You haven't commented on your earning potential, but given you needed to stay with her even before this pregnancy, this might might be the best chance you have.

@hippityhophop

and for lots of women it IS an option.so why shouldn’t posters mention it? It’s not the 1950’s anymore

That was their decision to make and is not the OP's concern.

The OP has already made clear she wants to keep this baby no matter what, so if she has to rack up debt to pay for it, that might be the consequence.

She wouldn't be the first or the last to incur an unaffordable medical bill for essential healthcare.

@mellicauli

is that really the best you can come up with?