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Original poster

Work friend doesn't have anyone to be with her during birth

190 replies

strongtsandcs · 05/07/2023 16:55

My work friend is new to the country and her husband has been taken ill. She won't have anyone with her for the birth - family can't get a visa as it will take a long time.

What will the nhs do for her?

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SadKendall · 05/07/2023 16:57

The NHS won't do anything. Can she book a doula?

scrantonelectriccity · 05/07/2023 16:59

They might get a member of staff to stay with her the whole time

I had to have a c section alone last month and the staff were lovely and they got a MCA to stay with me the whole time, take photos for me and hold my hand

HarridanHarvestingHeldaBeans · 05/07/2023 17:01

I had to give birth without my husband, and I had a midwife with me all the time. It was the best of all (five) of my births.

tweener · 05/07/2023 17:03

What do you want the NHS to do? Birthing partners aren't mandatory, lots of people choose not to have them.

Summer2424 · 05/07/2023 17:06

Hi @strongtsandcs my Mum gave birth to my siblings on her own. My DH was at the birth of our DD but honestly it was the nurses who gave me so much support. Hopefully your colleague should be ok xx

MintJulia · 05/07/2023 17:06

I had my ds in Salisbury hospital. The midwives were brilliant, I wasn't alone at all from the time labour was 'established' until after DS arrived.

To be honest, they were much better than my ex who went a bit green round the gills and was no support whatsoever. 🙄

isthewashingdryyet · 05/07/2023 17:06

Same as they did for the women who gave birth in Covid ?

or women who are about to be single mums and live at the other end of this country to their family, or whose parents are deceased, or very ill or incapacitated in some other way

She will be able to buzz for staff, and also should HELP if she needs to, and needs to have built this into a plan for giving birth that she will discuss with her midwife.

Original poster
strongtsandcs · 05/07/2023 17:09

tweener · 05/07/2023 17:03

What do you want the NHS to do? Birthing partners aren't mandatory, lots of people choose not to have them.

I'm asking what support there is available for my work friend?

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Original poster
strongtsandcs · 05/07/2023 17:10

I'm pretty sure lots of people don't choose to have their baby alone.

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Mumof1andacat · 05/07/2023 17:10

There was a time when men especially weren't allowed to be with their partner during birth. Maybe you might have had your mum or sister if it was z home birth, but if it was in hospital, then it would have been you and the midwife

Original poster
strongtsandcs · 05/07/2023 17:10

isthewashingdryyet · 05/07/2023 17:06

Same as they did for the women who gave birth in Covid ?

or women who are about to be single mums and live at the other end of this country to their family, or whose parents are deceased, or very ill or incapacitated in some other way

She will be able to buzz for staff, and also should HELP if she needs to, and needs to have built this into a plan for giving birth that she will discuss with her midwife.

I don't know what happened at covid? All women gave birth without any next of kin etc there?

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 05/07/2023 17:12

strongtsandcs · 05/07/2023 17:09

I'm asking what support there is available for my work friend?

Show quote history

They have staff, there will be staff around her during labour and birth. Not necessarily constantly, but they won't let her struggle alone.

For what it's worth, the midwife sent my husband home during one of my labours so I could crack on without him distracting me. It worked brilliantly.

tweener · 05/07/2023 17:14

strongtsandcs · 05/07/2023 17:09

I'm asking what support there is available for my work friend?

Show quote history

Not a lot, she'll have support of nurses, doctors and midwives just as she would if she gave birth with her husband there. She will get no extra support just because she doesn't have a birthing partner. And yes, many women do choose to give birth alone. Lots of single parents give birth alone along with many many women whose partners are at home with their other children.

cestlavielife · 05/07/2023 17:16

She will have midwife or staff f9r the moment of birth

Is she entitied to nhs care or will she be paying?

She can pay a doula

If she wants random volunteer support just to have someone she can ask at her church or equivalent group or on the work notice board or facebook group or next door

cestlavielife · 05/07/2023 17:17

Does she want someone ? Even a random volunteer?

Original poster
strongtsandcs · 05/07/2023 17:18

cestlavielife · 05/07/2023 17:16

She will have midwife or staff f9r the moment of birth

Is she entitied to nhs care or will she be paying?

She can pay a doula

If she wants random volunteer support just to have someone she can ask at her church or equivalent group or on the work notice board or facebook group or next door

Her and her husband are here on a work visa so no she wouldn't pay

OP posts:
Original poster
strongtsandcs · 05/07/2023 17:19

cestlavielife · 05/07/2023 17:17

Does she want someone ? Even a random volunteer?

She's having a tough time.

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TakeMe2Insanity · 05/07/2023 17:19

You could always offer to be with her. Crazy idea but that’s what a friend would do.

2boysandagirltoo · 05/07/2023 17:20

HarridanHarvestingHeldaBeans · 05/07/2023 17:01

I had to give birth without my husband, and I had a midwife with me all the time. It was the best of all (five) of my births.

Same for my third... Baby 6 weeks early and childcare was on holiday, by the time DH sorted the kids and got to the hospital DS was in SCBU...

Mumof1andacat · 05/07/2023 17:21

The nhs don't provide a birth partner. There will be a midwife to support her and deliver the baby. There might be other staff that can come in (another midwife or hca) if there is enough staff on duty.

PoliticallyIncorrectHitchling · 05/07/2023 17:21

If she is here on a work visa, she can pay for a doula or you can support her? What do you think the NHS will do? Apart from the usual midwife, doctor and nurses supporting her during childbirth?

Traceyislivid · 05/07/2023 17:21

I did my second myself. It’s fine.

DappledThings · 05/07/2023 17:22

Can't you go with her? NHS won't provide her with a birthing partner if that's what you're asking.

Grumpyfroghats · 05/07/2023 17:22

I would definitely consider a doula if I was her - some will discount for women in need who can't afford it.

When in labour, I go very quiet and find it very hard to communicate, I really needed an advocate in childbirth especially as I was left without a midwife for hours during my first delivery.

Housenoob · 05/07/2023 17:23

Why don't you offer to be her birthing partner?