Work friend doesn't have anyone to be with her during birth

[strongtsandcs]

My work friend is new to the country and her husband has been taken ill. She won't have anyone with her for the birth - family can't get a visa as it will take a long time.

What will the nhs do for her?

At our local hospital you have a midwife with you constantly if you're in the Consultant Led Unit. Perhaps that could be an option for her?

She's giving birth in a couple of weeks, is 32 weeks.

Has she said that she wants someone?
Does she need an interpreter?
She can ask PALS at the hospital

This is extremely bizarre and quite frankly entitled. She will have her baby free on the NHS and be tended to during labour. I'm baffled as to what else you expect from the NHS?

Is she being taken in early then? Is there a plan? I had a plan for csect, still went into spontaneous labour over 3 weeks before that!

Yes I agree. The midwives will be with her during her birth? If you want your husband there that’s a personal choice but it’s not down to the NHS to provide chaperones. The midwives ARE the birth support.

currently pregnant with my second (36 weeks) and DH will likely be there but if he wasn’t I would cope just fine!

OP if you’re so worried about her then I think you ought to volunteer yourself

She’s giving birth at 34 weeks?

I just told you where. It’s in the comment to which you’re responding.

The link provided has a database of doulas. You (or your friend) can search, find someone suitable and discuss rates. You’ve also been provided with a link to an access fund.

I’m going to be honest, I’m finding the tone of your responses a bit odd. Do you actually want a solution?

OP you're being a bit spikey here.

Does she want someone with her? Does she have friends who would be better placed than you? If not then you could offer, or point her towards the doula and funding sources PP's have linked.
Is she very young or otherwise vulnerable? Are you very close?
Many women give birth alone for all sorts of reasons. The midwives will give her as much support as they can - but it will depend on staffing levels and other patients needs whether they can be there the whole time. If she needs a translator she should flag this at midwife appointment.

Totally agree, it’s between her and her midwife, and nothing to do with her boss

@PousseyNotMoira I've checked women in the area and they aren't charging £28ph. I gave you a link to one.

I have a couple of friends who are midwives here so this is lovely to hear!

Someone to keep you company? Someone who will see you don't doing well and advocate for you? Someone who is with you all the time?

You're being ridiculous. "Free" in this context clearly just means she isn't going to be billed thousands of pounds to give birth on the NHS as is the case with people not entitled to NHS care.

You've been provided with plenty of options. Friends, colleagues, members of church/mosque, a doula. If none of these are suitable then it's tough isn't it, she will have to cope the same way many others cope.

Get a grip. I said nothing of the sort.

The NHS is free at the point of use... therefore if her birth costs more than they've ever contributed in taxes, they won't be billed for the extra

She will be supported with medical care. The NHS cannot conjure up spare friends and relatives unfortunately.

They can be far cheaper , if all she wants is a birth companion during labour and delivery. Expensive doulas are on a longer contract to provide support during pregnancy and at home after the baby is born.

https://www.motherandbaby.com/pregnancy/labour-birth/what-is-a-doula/

How does your friend manage to work in UK, if she only speaks Swahili?

There's no guarantee the NHS doctors and midwives attending her labour and birth will speak Swahili.

OP it’s beginning to sound like you think the NHS should fund her a private doula and a translator and nothing else will satisfy you. Am I right?!

Sounds to me like OP is spoiling for a row here. You're all massive unsupportive bigots who think the NHS should provide more than necessary for people who don't pay taxes towards it? That sound about right OP?

I think it would be good to chat with her and establish her exact concerns and requirements. Perhaps she’s worried about getting to hospital/ leaving hospital, in which case you could maybe offer assistance. In terms of the birth itself, encourage her to speak to her team and establish what a birth without a birth partner will look like, perhaps they can reassure her, direct her to PALS etc. She’ll be perfectly fine , and will be well looked after. I’m not sure what a doula could do that the midwives won’t be doing anyway?

There are expensive doulas everywhere, much like there are affordable doulas everywhere. The link you’ve been provided has doulas in Cheshire and Manchester for considerably cheaper. But, you’ve refused to look at it.

You’ve also refused to acknowledge that there are funds that she can apply to for support with payment.

You randomly brought up Swahili, then didn’t answer follow up questions about whether the needs an interpreter.

You appear to want to row with people about taxes and the NHS.

Are you quite alright? This is rather strange behaviour.

Lol at the idea of the NHS providing birth partners

What's the deal with the husband's health? Is he definitely going to be out of action for weeks?

Your friend will get from the NHS the same as anyone else without a birthing partner. She isn't going to receive less care because of her circumstances but there is no provision of a partner - she'll have the midwives etc in the same way that everyone else does.

You do it op?