Work friend doesn't have anyone to be with her during birth

[strongtsandcs]

My work friend is new to the country and her husband has been taken ill. She won't have anyone with her for the birth - family can't get a visa as it will take a long time.

What will the nhs do for her?

Is this charity near you https://www.birthcompanions.org.uk/

If not they may know of a similar organisation near to where you are based.

Might depend on the birth and hospital. I have hd two babies and had a midwife present in the room pretty much at all times.

Both were on the labour ward.

Perhaps recommend her to be on the labour ward.

Have you actually looked on doula.org and asked? If I can find one in London Zone 2 for that price, you can find one in Cheshire. So, have you actually clicked on that link and tried?

And she doesn’t need one for the 9 months, so how is that relevant?

Is there a reason you’re not answering these extremely reasonable questions that would allow people to offer more constructive assistance?

I had a quick look and found one who charges from £800 for the entire journey. As your friend only needs her for the birth, she’d probably agree to something significantly cheaper: https://melaniedoula.co.uk/pregnancy-and-birth-support/

Finding this took me all of 10 minutes. There will be more (and cheaper) options available on the doula.org website. As you’d know if you’d actually looked when it was initially given to you, several hours ago. 🫤

"From £800" and that's still a large chunk of money.

@PousseyNotMoira I've answered everything

I could easily have had mine alone. It was nice having my husband there but I didn’t need him. I sort withdrew into myself and went a bit primitive.

Someone's asking advice for someone they're worried about.

The woman isn't entitled, for all we know she's mentioned casually to OP over lunch that she'll be alone and nothing else.
OP isn't demanding that a team of volunteers move into this woman's house to tend to her every need.
She's simply asking what will happen. An innocuous enough question.
Really doesn't need the frankly bitter tones being directed at OP

@HarridanHarvestingHeldaBeans

how long ago was that?

midwives are currently run off their feet, I'd seriously doubt any of them could stay with one patient these days.

@strongtsandcs Are you not up for going with her? You can stay at her head end, you don't need to deliver the baby 😂

Define doable.
Something that won't kill you? Of course.
But if I look back and imagine my EMCS where they pulled my baby from me and took him away without me seeing him, where I lay in recovery breaking my heart whilst I could hear other babies crying just behind the curtain, where I was put up onto a ward with 3 other women all cradling their baby whilst another team tried to stop mine from dying a floor down, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Of course I'd have "done" it, but it doesn't mean it would have been without damage.

I’m giving birth in 4 weeks time and they’ve said a midwife would be with me the entire time (aside from going out to the store cupboard to get equipment) in both the labour ward or birth centre. So you’re not accurate on that front

You’ve ignored 90% of that comment. As your friend only needs her for the birth, she’d probably agree to something significantly cheaper

Finding this took me all of 10 minutes. There will be more (and cheaper) options available on the doula.org website. As you’d know if you’d actually looked when it was initially given to you, several hours ago

The poster asked the following three questions and you didn’t answer a single one:

1. What area of the country is she in?
2. If she is from East Africa, does she have a particular religious denomination? I looked after a woman in not dissimilar circumstances who was supported by a volunteer from a local church which had links to her religious community.
3. is she aware of all her options, rights etc? The more she can read up and be aware, the easier she will find it to advocate for herself.

midwives are currently run off their feet, I'd seriously doubt any of them could stay with one patient these days.

I've had two in the last 4 years. First one midwife was with us most of the time because there was one other person on the ward and our room was much calmer.

Second one I gave birth within 20 minutes of arriving at the hospital so two were with us then.