Work friend doesn't have anyone to be with her during birth

[strongtsandcs]

My work friend is new to the country and her husband has been taken ill. She won't have anyone with her for the birth - family can't get a visa as it will take a long time.

What will the nhs do for her?

OP this is a lot more common than you seem to think. Partners often can't get there for a variety of often unexpected reasons. It happened to a relative of mine and she said the midwives were fabulous. Obviously her husband must be very unwell if he can't be there at all. It's support for after the birth she will need if he is unable to help.

I wonder if 34 weeks was a typo or else that is when she goes on Mat leave

I was never left on my own, a student midwife was my support. He was lovely.

I gave birth alone 12 years ago - I wasn't he only one and it really wasn't that big a deal. There were things that would have been easier if my partner had been there, such as getting something from the shop, but they came around with a trolley, the meals were edible and other mums/dads were more than willing to pick up a drink or something when they went for themselves. I left hospital 36 hours after giving birth, got a cab home. Unless your friend is having a C-section she should be fine.

I also was someone who didn't want my brow mopped or hand held.

But it was helpful to have my DH there to go and get someone when I could feel the head coming out and we hadn't seen a midwife in several hours.

To get her work visa, she would have needed a B1 level of English which is more than enough to understand conversations. She will be ok!

For what it's worth it, I gave birth without a partner. Just the midwife and I were in the room, as I didn't want anyone else there

No she doesn't.

She's with her husband.

Re: language barriers. The NHS has interpreters, and our unit uses language line during labour so that a stranger isn't entering the birth space. Your friend can request an interpreter, for any of their care and the healthcare professionals caring for them should request one if they think she doesn't understand English well enough to consent to care, procedures or examinations. An interpreter should be offered even if she has a birth partner with her because family & friends shouldn't be used to communicate information about care or gain consent.

https://ammabirthcompanions.org/referral/

This is a Scotland based charity but maybe there is something like this near where you are. Support given for a variety of reasons - including facing the prospect of giving birth alone.

Thank you

Yes they are aware and have something in place

Hi OP
There are some comments on here which sit deeply uncomfortably for me.
Firstly, she can request a translator. Going through child birth when you’re not speaking your primary language is really tough.
Secondly, the privilege of people who know the system confidently saying that they don’t need anyone to advocate them really has no idea or what it is to be an immigrant in a country.
I take it she’s from central Africa? Where is she based? There are lots of local charities or groups that could help.

Doulas are employed privately, so you pay for them.

I agree completely.

Black women in the UK are four times more likely to die during childbirth than white women.

Not everyone gets the same level of care and sometimes you need a strong advocate.

If I hadn't had an advocate in labour, my first child would have been born in the toilet in the labour room because no one listened to me that I was in labour and I was ignored when I tried to explain that I was. English is one of my first languages (I am bilingual) but I wasn't fully able to advocate for myself while pushing a baby out.

Just a reminder, this woman is 4 times more likely than a white woman to die in childbirth. The idea that he’d level of English is high enough to go through this alone is laughable. @TreesandFish i have a B1 in french and I can assure you there is no way I could manage in labour without a translator.

I had a baby during the first COVID lockdown and my DH was present. He was sent home shortly after the birth and only allowed in if it was active labour. You were allowed one birthing partner for the actual birth, just no visitors. Wasn't in very long fortunately.
I feel for your colleague, she must be struggling as her husband is ill. Is it her first baby?

Nobody is suggesting she just give up and do it alone though, they're suggesting that if she doesn't like the responses she will have no choice but to go it alone. People have suggested hiring a doula, having a friend or colleague, suggesting family members apply for a visa just in case, approaching their church/mosque. The OP has shunned most of these solutions as not suitable. The NHS isn't going to provide anything "extra."

Quoted the wrong person there, sorry.

Just to clarify @tweener my response was to @TreesandFish idea that a B1 is good enough to manage complex medical discussions without a translator I find hard to believe (I say this, as an immigrant and someone who has obtained albeit a French B1)

Agreed, I'd quoted your post accidentally instead of another poster :)

I had four of my five children without my partner being there. I’d have preferred him not to be there for any. Not everyone is the same. However I would want a translator if English wasn’t my first language.

nothing she will have a midwife and maybe a student with her all the time

the hospitals all access to a translator service now via telephone. legally should
provide this for informed consent u less category 1 emergency

@MintJulia what a lovely thing to say 🥰

Can you offer to be with her? Or maybe to sit outside, in the waiting room?