Pregnant after miscarriage - support thread NEW

[tulipsunday]

Welcome to all those who are pregnant following a miscarriage/s. A space where we can share our anxieties and our joys.

@WitcheryDivine it's excess amniotic fluid! So made me even bigger 😂😬

@tulipsunday it's my own fault I don't drink enough!

Hello ladies, congratulations to everyone and i'm sorry for everyones loss. I have just came across this thread and think it's a lovely idea, hoping it's ok for me to join!

I am 4 weeks with baby number 3, I just found out on Thurs/Fri last week, Had a miscarriage December last year at 9 weeks, so I feel that I will be a time when I will feel better if I get past that mark. I am very very happy to be pregnant now but I never felt worried like this with my first 2 dc because I hadn't experienced a loss before. Every time I go to the toilet I check the toilet roll, it's a very different experience.

I seen a few comments about scans, I think I would like to try one and wondered when is the best time to get an early scan, what would you recommend? xo

Sorry, I didn't mean to make this post so long 🙂

@Ladyinpink1 I had mine at 10+4 but purely because it was Christmas so I had to wait till after 🤣 it was a really good time to go though because the baby was proper baby like and not blob like! I think I would at least wait until 7 weeks just so you should definitely see a heartbeat🥰

Thank you @ChloeN I will do that for 7+ weeks then. Lol definitely would rather see a baby than a blob.
How far along are you now if you were 10 weeks at Christmas? x

@Ladyinpink1 It’s nice to have something booked in to get you through the weeks as well! I’m 35 weeks ☺️xx

Welcome @Ladyinpink1 yes agree with @ChloeN post 7weeks is best. I had a scan at 8 weeks with my son and that was good as you could see a fair bit. This time I had one at 7 weeks as that was what the EPU offered but did feel quite a wait till the 12 wk scan.

Hope it's OK for me to join this thread - I don't really feel right bringing pregnancy joy to the mc threads or mc anxiety to the pregnancy threads! So it's nice to be among others experiencing the mix of both, I'm sorry for all your losses.

I'm currently 5w3d pregnant, had a mc in March at 8 weeks. So getting past that grim milestone feels important, and also far away.

I'm veering between moments of excitement about this baby and (more often) feeling sure it's going to go wrong again. It's almost painful to hope too much, it still feels connected to the pain of my loss. My symptoms are not as strong as either of my previous pregnancies which gives me a sense of dread.

My partner is another "what will be will be" zen master which is sometimes helpful sometimes irritating!

@Hankthehonk you're definitely among friends here, apparently a lot of us have similar partners too! haha

I am the same, I get little peaks of excitement, that 'what if it works out this time' followed by waves of feeling like it won't, and getting annoyed at myself for getting my hopes up because I know how much it hurts. Hope you're doing ok x

@Hankthehonk welcome to the thread! It's so hard after a loss isn't it!

I had some clear jelly discharge today which I know is normal but still has me feeling nervous! So unbelievably tired today too!! 😴😴

Am I the only one whose partner is not a zen master? Mine is probably almost as anxious as me but rather nobly keeps it to himself a lot of the time. Not sure which is more helpful but I am grateful when I can just bare my soul to him a bit and he understands. At the same time though I'd rather it was just one of us worrying than two!

@WitcheryDivine mines a bit of both. He does get anxious but he would never say until after what ever he was anxious about turns out okay! I think he feels like he has to be calm for me and doesn’t want to make me feel worse but then I feel bad when after he says oh I was really worried about that 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thanks everyone!
My partner is a good and empathetic listener but he's definitely not carrying a lot of anxiety himself.
He was working abroad when I had my miscarriage which was very hard for us both, but I think because he didn't live through it with me it's less real to him too. I sometimes worry he hasn't processed the loss at all.

Well after having brown discharge every time I wiped yesterday afternoon/evening, it seems to have stopped now and back to normal clear colour. Not going to lie, I started to feel really nervous yesterday but it's a massive relief now 😅

Hi @Hankthehonk I think we might have been in a previous thread together I also had a Mc at 8 weeks in March too! Glad to see you here and yey for new pregnancy!

Completely with you on moments of excitement and terror combined! It's a rollercoaster for sure

Glad you can have some relief now @WhiteHorse92 welcome @Hankthehonk I recognise your username as well. So glad to hear of your pregnancy.

My partner stays outwardly calm. Think he has been nervous this time though as he knows three miscarriages would send me completely over the edge. I reached out to all my close friends following the losses but he hasn't told most of his friends maybe he will in time I don't know.

@tulipsunday mine really struggled to tell his friends, none of them have kids either so I think he just felt awkward to bring it up! I think he felt better after they knew though

@tulipsunday @suz2285 thanks for the welcome,I recognise your names as well! Congratulations on your pregnancies, complicated as the emotions are. It's easier to be excited for others than it is for myself. How far along are you?

@ChloeN that's good he felt better after they knew. Glad my husband spoke to our neighbour about it. Find it weird he hasn't told his best friend but think it is because his friend is much more of an emotional type of person which my husband can't always handle 😂

@Hankthehonk Yes I know what you mean. I'm 12 wks had scan yesterday and all fine thankfully though after 2 miscarriages can't fully relax! Have you got any scans booked?

@tulipsunday that's great your 12 week scan went well! Huge milestone.
I'm reluctant to book an early scan because we had a positive one last time where we saw the heartbeat, then the mc happened 5 days later. So I know it wouldn't reassure me.
My lmp puts me 3 weeks further along than I know I am so I guess the NHS might schedule me in for my 12 week scan when I'm actually 9 weeks. I have my booking appointment on 7 July so let's see after that I guess.
Will you have any more scans between now and 20w?

@Hankthehonk I'm almost 11 weeks, got my 12 week scan next week, I'm nervous, we've had 2 early scans, and all going ok so far but it feels like a big hurdle 🤞 if all well then I'll be planning to have another scan week 16 ish for the gender! Don't think I could wait between 12-20 weeks with nothing at all!!

@tulipsunday @ChloeN my husband has told pretty much all the guys at his work 😂 and about the MC, most of them have kids, some of them have also had MC so they're being quite supportive! In a guy way 🙈 I haven't told any of my friends yet only my mum and dad!

@hankthehonk Yeh I know what you mean about it not necessarily helping. The EPU scanned me at 7 weeks but like you as I had had a miscarriage at 8 weeks it didn't provide lots of reassurance but helped a bit.

Don't think will book another scan unless I am concerned about anything. Don't want the summer to go quickly but at the same time I do 😂

@suz2285 not long to wait now till your scan. Exciting! I was a bit tempted to do a 16wk gender scan just guess don't want to be told it is something then it changes! Pretty sure I have another boy on the way if the nub theory is correct so will be a surprise if a girl

@tulipsunday well my nhs trust won't tell you the gender at all so I'll have no way of knowing without a private scan! 😂 they say they can tell from 16 weeks so 🤷‍♀️ not sure there's any other better way to tell other than having another scan later on at like 24 weeks or something? Seems so late! There's also blood tests but I feel like they're still not that accurate??

@suz2285 ah really yeh would totally be doing a 16wk scan then in your position. With my son at 20wks we could tell as quite obvious so you might get some confirmation then yourself if a boy even if they can't say 😂

@suz2285 I do find it quite awkward to bring up, some people just don’t know what to say and then I feel bad that I’ve made them uncomfortable 🤣 but I got sick of people saying oh it’ll be your turn one day when I was holding someone else’s baby I’d just say it to shut them up 🤣
I think the home blood tests are really hard to do properly, my cousin did it and got inconclusive 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’d also be too scared to do them myself