Pregnant after miscarriage - support thread NEW

[tulipsunday]

Welcome to all those who are pregnant following a miscarriage/s. A space where we can share our anxieties and our joys.

@Hankthehonk I'm having another scan on Thursday I'll be 8+3 and it will be internal x

Glad to see people are feeling confident to tell their family and friends! We're not feeling at that stage yet but hit the 8 week milestone today and I've never made it this far before so feeling a bit of a burst of positivity.

@Meeting Thanks for reply. I think I'll hold out for my nhs scan after all, I know I couldn't deal with the anxiety of an internal scan (purely personal because of my past experience).

That's great you're feeling more positive! Hold onto that feeling.
I've told a few close family and friends, not because I feel positive but because they're the ones I'd lean on if it went wrong again. I'm leaning on a couple of them now in fact, especially a good friend who has experienced multiple losses and two successful pregnancies, she's a fantastic support as she totally gets my anxieties.

Thanks for the replies about feeling movement, that's still ages then as I'm only 13+5 today. Been a very very long 9 weeks.

@Hankthehonk i think it depends where you go! Where I went this time she said they try abdominal even from 6 weeks as she said often they can see the baby! Whereas when I went to wttw I think it was all scans under 10 weeks are internal xx

I had early nhs scan 6+2 and they didn't external but that has never happened before. They normally always do internall

Thanks @vvit @ChloeN feels like a risk below 8 weeks especially since I've needed internal with both previous pregnancies. I think I'm talking myself out of it!
Grateful to you all for sharing experiences and not telling me I'm being daft

@Hankthehonk in my first pregnancy I had a private early scan at 8 weeks (they only do external so they tell you to be sure you're at least 7 weeks) and the images were beautiful and clear, this pregnancy I had one at what I thought was 8+1 but they measured the baby as 7+1 but could see the sac, foetus, heartbeat etc fine on an external and I'm not the skinniest of people either. I think if you want to have an external early scan just make sure you're at least 8 weeks and have a full bladder, they should be able to see xx

Thanks @WhiteHorse92 that's really helpful!

@Hankthehonk Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone, I feel the same, I have only had 2 early scans, both with my last pregnancy... one to confirm my miscarriage had happened, then a week later to see how it was progressing.

I would really like an early scan this pregnancy for reassurance, but the thought of it being internal makes me very nervous, I know millions of women get them and it's fine but it's how I feel. x

@Ladyinpink1 I'm sorry you feel this way too but it's reassuring to know I'm not alone! When the scan experience is so tied up with loss in our psyche it's hard to feel that it could ever be reassuring.
The scan just before my miscarriage went well, we saw a heartbeat, so I don't think I'd even find a positive early scan reassuring now. But I've been thinking for a couple of days that if it's not going well I'd rather know sooner...

@Hankthehonk hopefully the clinic can give you some advice before hand as to from what week can they can do external.

You aren't being ridiculous at all. I had the same thing with a miscarriage starting the following day after an exercise class. Even though I know the class didn't cause it as the pregnancy was dated and ended earlier I have been nervous about going back to class. Can be hard when the mind has made a link between something ❤️

@tulipsunday that's it, it's not logic, just the raw emotional connections our brains have made trying to make sense of this thing.

A friend told me yesterday she's 16 weeks pregnant - they've had a long difficult IVF journey with several early losses so it's taken this long for her to feel less anxious . It was nice to tell her I'm pregnant too and share a bit of excitement together I think it's the most positive I've allowed myself to feel yet about this pregnancy. If all goes well it's nice to know I'll already have a mat leave buddy.

@Hankthehonk aw that's so sweet about your friend it's nice to have someone to share with for sure!

So with my Mc I went for a private scan at 8 weeks and they only do external, they struggled to see anything, couldn't see the yolk sac or anything! When I went to EPU the next day they did external and same, so they did internal and did find baby but no HB and had stopped growing somewhere around 7 weeks... it sounded like it was never right from the start, couldn't see the yolk sac or the fetal pole it was strange!

This time around I went to EPU at 6.5 weeks with a bleed and they did external and could quite clearly see the baby on the external scan, could see the yolk sac, the fetal pole and the baby really clearly... and then I had an external at 9 weeks again at the previous private scan place with no trouble finding baby... I do think the external scan place the private place isn't as good equipment it's certainly more blurry than the one the hospital has!

Anyway, I don't know if that helps any but I figure they struggled to see externally the first time cos there was an issue 🤷‍♀️ this time I didn't want to go when I was too early incase they couldn't see anything but then ended up at EPU anyway and they did find baby externally really early on!

After feeling like my UTI had gone on Sunday, woke up yesterday and symptoms were back, had places to go yesterday so have seen the doctor this morning who has confirmed I definitely have a UTI and now have some antibiotics. Don't feel unwell or anything, just have that horrible annoying uncomfortable UTI sensation feeling 🥴. Just hoping it feels better by Friday so I'm not waiting for my scan with a full UTI bladder 😅

I've just come back from 8 week private scan and they did external as well. Maybe it's the new way as I swear they always used to do internal, but now nhs and private both been external ❤️
The scan really helps me feel less anxious at least for few days

That's great your scan went well @vvit ! Were dates as you expected?

@suz2285 Thanks for sharing! I've got a feeling there's something about the position of my uterus that makes internal more likely,I vaguely remember them saying that when I went for an early pregnancy scan in 2019 (my daughter).
Chatting it through on here has helped me decide i probably won't get one after all,I think I'm too anxious about it all.
My lmp puts me 3 weeks more pregnant than I know I am so I MIGHT get nhs scan at 9 weeks ish anyway if they insist on going by that.

@Hankthehonk yeah they'll go by the lmp so you might get an early scan anyway 👌 that would be good! Totally understand the anxiety it really sucks, and there's literally nothing that helps it...

Glad your scan went well @vvit 😊

@Hankthehonk and @tulipsunday thank you! Yup 8 +1, just as it should be from my ovulation. Still taking one day at the time but now feel that maybe I can tell at least my mum, it's a milestone from our previous mmc. Just one more month and I hope anxiety goes down after 12 weeks.

I've taken progesterone from week 4, so I feel like I'm doing something a bit more extra this time

Scan day today so nervous! Tried eating breakfast but only managed two mouthfuls! 😬

@Brokenpancreas94 good luck today!! Hope it all goes okay xx

@Brokenpancreas94 sending all the positive thoughts your way! ❤️

Best of luck @Brokenpancreas94 for a fab result at the scan x

All the best for today @Brokenpancreas94 x