Pregnant with unplanned baby, husband is adamant he doesn’t want it

[Pippin18]

Hello

i guess I’m looking for some advice.
I am 14 weeks pregnant with 3rd baby, only found out 3 weeks a go.
I was/am scared and anxious - we have DS1 6,7 in July and DS2 5,6 in December.
the baby is due in November.
we are 31&32.
failed mirena coil.

Husband wanted me to get an abortion I enquired but I couldn’t do it. Its has gotten me in a right state for 2 weeks. I told him yesterday I couldn’t do it and he went mad.

he wants nothing to do with the baby. Wishes I’d miscarry, I’ve ruin his life, suicidal thoughts ect

he’s a great dad to our boys but says he was enjoying his freedom and he doesn’t want to share me again!

he’s adamant he won’t help and he’ll regret the baby so won’t even look at it or do anything for it - it’s putting a massive strain on how I feel.

I’m so scared around the whole thing, it feels like a long time a go I was dealing with a newborn. Also I’m scared to know I don’t have any of his support.
he said he’ll be here for the boys but not this one.
he keeps saying he hopes I’ve made the right decision for me cos it’s for no one else!
he’s my best friend. We’ve got a solid relationship bar this huge thing!!
I know he’s got in my head cos it’s keeping me awake now.
with his help, love and support we’d be okay! We have more options for paid support now than ever before! - but I can’t see me getting that!!

I don’t know what I’m trying to achieve by this post, I’m just wondering if anyone else’s husbands have come round or if they stay like this?

My big fear is that he is telling her this crap so he can stay but he will keep trying to stress her out, hoping to get her to miscarry. I fear for her and the baby, as he could do anything to get her to miscarry, including hurting her.
I wish she would stop feeling as if she is "punishing him" by being distant and see the red flags. How anyone could want to be with someone who has said the things he has said boggles the mind.
She and her child need to be protected and the AHFH can go pound sand.

He's fucking disgusting and he's NOT your friend.

I would end my marriage over this.

This is NOT normal or ok.

I hope @Pippin18 is ok

You were TTC two years ago and had just had your Mirena removed. I take it that you've changed your minds since then and you had a fresh Mirena put in? Was it his idea or yours to stop TTC?

All is okay thank you 🙂

joint decision - I got a new job and life got difficult with some personal bits that were going on for me.

Why are you protracting the agony

Can you ever go back to being a living couple after what he has said, the demands, the threats and promises he has made. This marriage is over.

Why is he still around?

so it wasn't always cut and dried that you wanted another baby? It seems that another baby would have caused some personal problems at that time. Could the same problems resurface now or are they completely out of the picture? Could your DH be concerned about the effect they could have on you and therefore on the whole family? I admit I haven't read the whole text just most of it, so could have missed something important.
I don't go along with this casual LTB advice that is often freely thrown about.. I think your DH may have genuine concerns and that the gung ho posters on here who are always in favour of as many LTB's as they can notch up just aren't always capable of thinking things through or thinking about possible consequences. This is not to say that there aren't cases (and this may be one) where that could be good advice.

How are you @Pippin18

It takes 2 to get pregnant, you were doing your part to prevent it, he could have had a vasectomy but didn't.
I'll be honest if my husband treated me this way id be telling him to f**k off.

Hoping for an update!

@Pippin18 I hope you are doing okay!