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Pregnancy
35 weeks pregnant, how to put baby up for adoption
solosunflower · 04/03/2023 19:40
As the title says really, how would I start this process?
georgarina · 04/03/2023 19:48
I would talk to your midwife at your next appointment and they should be able to discuss the process with you/refer you on
Hope all is well xx
solosunflower · 16/03/2023 18:32
I should have had an abortion. I feel so miserable at the thought of being a parent. I've not spoken to the father the entire pregnancy. The only family support I have is a toxic mother who I don't want back in my life.
Choppies · 16/03/2023 18:46
If you are feeling this way then contacting your midwife seems sensible - they can refer as needed and signpost to support whatever decision you make - much better to make the decision with as much support and information as possible. I personally think acknowledging your limitations and situation is hugely brave so hats off to you!
solosunflower · 16/03/2023 18:53
Thank you. I can't stop thinking about it. I think of the couple desperate for a newborn and all they can offer. I really have very, very little.
iloveburmese3 · 16/03/2023 19:18
Sending love OP. You're awesome and brave to carry a baby and we all support you. As you say there is a couple who will love and cherish your baby and you've done a great job carrying it to full term. Really hope it all goes well. Hugs x
solosunflower · 16/03/2023 20:52
Thank you. I'm wondering how I'm going to explain to people.
iloveburmese3 · 16/03/2023 21:23
As a super model once said 'never complain, never explain'. It's your life and you don't need to explain to anyone. The fact is your facing this alone so you need to make this decision for you and your baby and no one needs to know anything else. I absolutely love my baby and about to have another which I will cherish but honestly feeling huge admiration and bravery for you and think what you're doing is admirable for your future and your baby's. Keep us updated and hang in there. Hugs x
Chocolatetadpole · 16/03/2023 22:20
Hey OP, sending love to you. Sounds like you're having a tough time. Are you seeing someone about your mental health? You sound like you're in a tough place.
Your midwife will be able to refer you to the right process, if you don't have luck there call your local Children's Services and explain that you want to relinquish your baby when it's born. They should be able to signpost you to some support services and counselling around adoption too. Look after yourself xx
solosunflower · 17/03/2023 07:37
Thank you. I have found a number online. I've just got to wait until 9 am to put a call through. I know it's going to be tough, but my logical brain tells me it's the best thing for all concerned.
Sunandstars123 · 17/03/2023 08:03
Dear @solosunflower I'm feeling very sad you are in such difficult situation. You've been alone with your thoughts and fears and you don't see any better solution for the future and perhaps no internal resources to cope alone with the baby. But it could be depression that fogs your prospects on the future. Please, speak to midwife about your mental state and don't rush decisions before you feel better.
Children is a difficult task for everyone of us, but also a huge motivator to progress and overcome.
And no one can judge you. They are not in your shoes. Hug you x
Sallyh87 · 17/03/2023 11:38
Dear @solosunflower, so sorry you are feeling so alone. You say you have little to offer a baby but you have lots you are clearly a rational and strong woman who is already thinking only of the wellbeing of the baby. That’s a lot and more than a lot of babies have. There is a lot of support available through benefits, social services and even charities.
Agree with PPs, speak to your midwife. Discuss your mental health aswell. Look at what support is available.
Whatever decision you make, you owe no one any explanation and if asked just say you don’t wish to speak about it and move on. It is clear that you just care about the babies welfare and happiness and that is really commendable.
Good luck x
solosunflower · 17/03/2023 21:48
Hello, thank you for the considerate responses.
I'm not exaggerating when I say I have no support network. The father hasn't spoken to me since he found out - so no one from that side. From my side I have a mother and brother. My mother I have been cutting out for a while, but today I made the decision to stop all contact. I can't have that toxicity back in my life again. My brother is highly controlled by my mother and desperate for her money. The baby really would only have me. Plus I'm struggling to keep my head above water financially. I'm looking for ways to better my career prospects, but that would be very difficult with a baby. I simply can't provide any of the things I want to. I don't want them to have the childhood I endured. So I think of a couple who are desperate for a baby and are in a good position in life with a lovely family. I feel like a loser in comparison.
rubygiz · 18/03/2023 12:34
I wish you all the luck and happiness in your future what ever you decide to do x
georgarina · Yesterday 05:31
if you do want to keep the baby your midwife can refer you for a lot of help - family support worker, homestart, charities that will provide you with everything you need (cot, buggy etc) and even a birth partner to tent you to/from hospital and be with you for the birth.
hoping for the best for you with your decision either way xxx
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