Pregnant after miscarriage

[TTCX]

Hi all, hope you are all well🥰

I have just found out that I am pregnant again after a loss in December at 5+2 (very early!). I’m only 4 weeks going by last period so it really is so early again. I am so happy but also know i’m going to struggle with the waiting. I know I just have to play the waiting game and hope for the best. Anyone been in similar position with positive outcome? Really hope this is our time🤞🌈

@calipoppy I’m so very sorry to read this. It’s just so horribly cruel, please be kind to yourself and go through all the emotions you need to. I second @Charliexo, wondering if you’ll get a follow up or they confirmed everything today? I’m just so sorry. Sending you lots of love xxxxx

@GH9687 Thank you for sharing that x

Sending love and strength @calipoppy really sorry to hear this sad news. Take care of yourself and I hope you get your rainbow baby very soon ❤️🌈 xx

Hey everyone, I just want to share something that I feel has been quite a big step in my pregnancy after loss journey.

Today me and my husband buried a letter to our miscarried baby in the garden and planted a tree over it. We wanted to do something to mark letting go of what happened before and moving on hopefully with the new pregnancy.

It was emotional for both of us, but particularly for my husband a lot of emotions came out. I think he’s been so focused on caring for me after the miscarriage, he’s been trying to stay strong for me and not admitting the impact it’s had on him too.

Since finding out I’m pregnant again, we’d talked about how it feels different from last time we found out - instead of a monumental emotional shift from never having been pregnant to pregnant for the first time, this time it’s more a cautious optimism and doesn’t quite feel real. But today he also shared with me how afraid he is that it will go wrong again. I think he’s been reluctant to talk about how he’s feel because he wasn’t the one who physically went through it.

I’m really glad he’s opened up about this so we can both support each other more.

How are other people’s partners coping?

Hey @Fairylight102 firstly thank you so much with sharing such a personal, lovely and emotional moment for your baby that you lost. I think men do try to hide their feelings to stay strong for us, my OH has expressed his fears to me all along trying to concieve and his fears are no different to mine. When I bled last weekend I could see the change in him, he couldn't hide his fear.

We buried the baby we lost and I put a letter that I'd wrote from the both of us, it would have probably been a good idea to do one each although we do talk a lot and I know he felt exactly the same.

I hope doing this has helped you in moving forward with this new pregnancy, not forgetting and not getting over it but moving in the right direction to the future ❤️🌈

Ladies you are both very strong, this was heartfelt to read ❤️. Lovely to hear about how men cope with loss as well, they go through it with us too. Thanks for sharing with us all, some really healthy strategies to process and start to heal. My husband is honestly unbreakable (annoyingly 😂). He does feel very deeply but in his own way. Im very emotional and can be negative when im in a spiral, he is very proactive and hopeful in life which I absolutely need 😂. He’s a man of action more than words if that makes sense, so he copes well by doing and achieving. He’s keeping me positive this time round. Hopefully he’s right to be🤞

@Fairylight102 Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss.
And thank you for sharing your story, I think what you've done is a lovely idea ❤️ I've kept a memory box with my pregnancy tests, a pair of booties and the announcement baby vest I brought to tell my partner I was pregnant. My biggest regret was not recording his reaction because if I could replay a moment, it would be that one, I've never seen anyone so happy.

I'll be honest, me and my partner haven't really talked about our miscarriage, it was such a horrid time in our lives that we haven't wanted to talk about it since. We didn't just lose a baby we so desperately wanted, my partner had to call an ambulance for me because I almost lost my own life in the process. I can't imagine what it was like for my partner, the thought of potentially being a single dad on top of just losing a baby.
Then we got pregnant again so soon after, so our focus has been trying to get through these first few weeks ok.

I hope you and your partner are coping ok with everything. Sending you lots of love ❤️

@Sb86 @TTCX @Charliexo Thank you all for your kind words and so sorry to hear what you’ve all been through.

It is a completely different experience being pregnant after a loss, it feels like every day and every week that we get through without something going wrong is an achievement, it’s so different from the excitement you would be feeling in pregnancy otherwise.

@Fairylight102 I agree with you completely.
My pregnancy before my loss was an absolute dream pregnancy, no complications just pure excitement and I couldn't wait for my scans. This time round I haven't felt excited, still don't, I just feel anxious, scared and hoping every single day that everything will be ok. I've become terrified of scans thinking am I going to be told bad news again.
It's going to be a very long 9 months for me, I know that for sure xx

Hi everyone - so so helpful to hear all your stories. Sending much love to those struggling with the emotions around this, and to everyone who's had less than positive news.

I'm 5w today after our first cycle of IVF. Our one spontaneous pregnancy ended in a MMC in March 2020. What I find really strange is how little medical professionals even acknowledge how much can go wrong this early on. I do feel lucky and abstractly hopeful to have had our first transfer implant at all, but I'm nervous and sort of pessimistic about the 7 week scan the clinic has booked me in for - although I'll be glad to know. My first pregnancy likely stopped growing at 6 weeks but I kept having symptoms and no bleeding through the NHS 12 week scan when we found out and a couple of weeks after. I was totally blindsided (the only info I stumbled across on the NHS website is something like "a very small percentage of women find out at their scan that things are not progressing normally" with no numbers at all) and feel quite salty and a bit abandoned that even now there's no word of caution about it being early and taking it one day at a time. I suspect they're trying to counter anxiety, but it feels like it minimises my experience which - as you all know from painful experience - isn't uncommon.

Ooh. Less of an introduction, more of a rant! Anyway, hope you're all having a good start to your week and sending lots of luck to us all ✨

@Banbi I totally get what you mean, the only person who ever acknowledged that something could be wrong was a private sonographer I went too, she didn’t give me false hope that mmc only happen once or that every scan would be fine! Luckily everything was perfect this time round but I actually appreciated that she understood my worries and didn’t just try and say oh it’ll be fine!

Thanks @ChloeN - glad to know it's not just me! And really pleased to hear everything is progressing well.

@Banbi youre definitely not alone! The nhs sonographers don’t even seem to take into consideration that I’m literally dying of anxiety before every scan but I guess to them it’s normal! And congratulations on your pregnancy also!☺️

How is everyone getting on? ❤️

Hey @TTCX2 I'm just shattered and nauseous 24/7 it's horrible but it will be worth it. Feeling happier that I'm on progesterone 😊 how are you doing?

@TTCX2 I’ve been having insomnia the last 10 days or so, every night waking up from about 2-4am and it’s really draining me… I constantly feel jittery and like I could cry any moment. I guess this is a preview to the sleepless nights when the baby arrives?!?

I contacted my GP and there’s not really much they can do, just advised me to try relaxation techniques etc.

Not too much nausea yet (occasional discomfort but nothing too bad), and a little of bit of cramping from time to time.

I’m 5.5 weeks now, going to have a reassurance scan at the EPU when I get to 7 weeks.

How are you?

Hope you girls are all doing okay and getting through the first trimester☺️ I’m over 22 weeks now so feeling the baby kick everyday, I never dared hope I’d even get past the first scan so it’s very surreal to be over halfway!

Oh @Sb86 hope the nausea eases soon. The first trimester is not pretty I’m waiting for the 2nd trimester glow up 🙄. The exhaustion is something else, I’m not a napper but I’m finding myself napping whenever my daughter is at her grans 😂. Have my follow up scan on Friday, time has flown by and I’m quite anxious to see that baby is bigger and doing well. 🤞

@Fairylight102 that sounds really rough, you will go to bed anxious thinking you’ll wake as well. There might be some sleepy podcasts you can listen to and you get some nice sleep sprays. I don’t know if they actually work but it’s a nice placebo and routine to ease you into sleep. Hope it resolves!

oh @ChloeN it’s lovely to hear from you. It must be so beautiful to feel little one wriggling around. How exciting for you, you’re over half way ❤️

Hey ladies, it did not end well for me sadly. After the sonographers missing it on 2 scans!! I did indeed have an ectopic, which ruptured and I lost my right fallopian tube. I was told that I had a new pregnancy 2 weeks after my “miscarriage” and that was why my hcg was rising again. I knew I didn’t, but you trust the experts! (Silly me). What I take from this, if you know something isn’t right in YOUR body, push push push for an answer! I would hate for this to happen to anyone. Not only did I have the tube removed, they ended up having to do open surgery so I have huge painful scar across my belly and months of recovery ahead.

I wish this on no one, and wish you all the baby dust in the world but just wanted to share to hopefully save someone else this misfortune. You know your body best x

@Hopingsobad So sorry you’ve been through this x

Hi Everyone!

I'm so glad you're all doing well 🥰

A little update.. so I spoke to a friend, who is a senior midwife at a different hospital, about progesterone, as my local hospital told me there was nothing they could give me to support my healthy pregnancy. My friend referred me to the EPU where she works and they have prescribed me until I'm 16 weeks. Of course because it was a different hospital, they needed to scan me first, and our little bean was safe and sound with its little heart beating away measuring exactly 9 weeks, and they gave me a picture to take away 🥰

And for anyone who comes across this forum in the future experiencing the vanishing twin syndrome.. I asked if they could see the second twin that I lost still, they could see the sac which was getting smaller and breaking down but my body had absorbed the contents in it. The only sign I had that the nurse said it could possibly have been because my body was absorbing the second twin, was on Thursday night, I had a very little bleed of fresh blood and a little cramps but that was it.

Best of wishes to you all xxxx

@Hopingsobad this breaks my heart so much to think what you have gone through. We do trust our lives with the health professionals and we're just another number to them. It's shocking how they failed you, I really do hope you get your rainbow baby in the future and are treated so much better ❤️❤️

@Charliexo ah I’m so glad little one is doing well and you finally got progesterone!💕

@TTCX2 it’s lovely🥹 hope you’re doing okay!

@Hopingsobad so bad I'm so sorry you've been through this, are you going to take any action around this? You certainly have every right to, with their medical negligence and dismissive behaviour you're now left with a permanent scar and also a fallopian tube missing, just because they it's the NHS doesn't mean you're nor entitled to and deserving of the best treatment, they're aren't all there doing us a big favour, it's a serious job

@Hopingsobad im so sorry to read this. Sending you so much love. How are you?

hope everyone’s doing ok ❤️