Due August 2023 (Thread 3)

[BoodifulGoose]

Follow on from thread 2 cause we talk, a LOT 😂

www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/4693024-due-august-2023-thread-2?page=40

Holiday wise again..
we were due to go a drinking holiday before I found out I was pregnant with DS, so we changed it to Tunisia and went when I was 27 weeks and it was amazing! Went from 3 star hole in the wall to a 5 star all inclusive for £200 extra!
Had a scare while over there and the hotel sorted a scan, drs round the clock and a midwife since I really didn't want to go to the hospital! Everything was fine and I was just dehydrated but they did the lot in our suite! Was easily the safest I've felt.. except when we went to the shops and had to have a guard with us 😅😂

@sally16 and @Desperatelyboredhousewife thanks for the reassurance. I did mention my ectopic fears early on to my doctor and she wasn’t very concerned either. I have an obstetrician appointment this afternoon at the hospital so will see how things are by then. Hopefully they’ll be able to fit me in for a scan then if necessary.

That sounds like amazing care in Tunisia @sally16 .

@TheWeeLittleDonkey Thanks for trying to reassure me but I don't have any of those mitigating factors.

It was an internal scan so there's nothing that could be in the way of her taking measurements. I do have a tilted uterus but from my vast amount of research that only seems to affect measurements from external scans.

I know my dates exactly as we have fertility issues so getting pregnant is really hard for us. I imagine the sonographer said that because she DOES see it a lot, from people who have no idea about their dates (for some reason).

Nearly everyone else here who has been scanned has measured as they should be meaning that is IS possible to get the correct measurements. I don't really buy the excuse that the embryo is so tiny that it's hard to measure or no one would measure bang on their dates and it seems that the majority of people do.

So, yeah, unfortunately for me measuring a few days behind does mean it's probably the end of the road as there are no other explanations other than slow growth.

And you're right, I probably should leave. I know I'm just annoying everyone and being around people who have a baffling level of confidence that they'll end up with a baby is really, really hard. I can't even plan anything a week from now in case things go wrong, let alone think about holidays for next year. It's reminding me a lot of my due date group with the MMC when I knew I'd never go home with a baby but everyone else in the group would.

I'm autistic and have always thought negatively. It's much better to be this way as, when the inevitable bad thing happens, it doesn't hurt as much.

I hope you get your rainbow though :)

@TheBirdintheCave your not annoying anyone lovey! Everyone's just trying to say something helpful and reassuring opposed to the horrible comments people use in day to day such as ' can always try again' which isn't helpful in any sense 🤦🏼‍♀️
I hope things turn around for you in the next scan and you feel relieved at the outcome! We are always here either way 💙💙💙

Everything crossed for you too @TheBirdintheCave

I’m seriously thinking about getting a scan done today now. I said I would do if any new concerns came up. I’m so freaked out now about the possibility of ectopic that, even if I don’t get any more worrying symptoms between now and this evening, I’m probably going to be panicking that it will suddenly escalate overnight and that I’ll end up having to go to A&E.

Thanks everyone for your reassuring messages when I posted about bleeding yesterday.

I’ve just had a scan in the early pregnancy unit, they said what they can see at the moment is typical for a 5 week pregnancy (no yolk sac yet, but an area that indicates and early gestational sac). The due date calculator I did at home was showing 6 weeks but the nurse said as I have a longer cycle I’m probably more like 5.

Got to have a blood test now and repeat in 2 days time, to check the hormone levels show pregnancy is developing normally. Hopefully all will be well and I can relax!

Loving reading about everyone’s holiday plans. No firm plans yet but hoping to get a way for a short break, maybe somewhere on the Eurostar in the spring xx

@sally16 I know people are trying to be helpful but I just wanted to provide the facts as they stand so everyone can see that I'm not over reacting :)

@AnnieApple123 If you're worried about it, I'd have the scan <3

Sounds like it could be a good idea @AnnieApple123 if you’ve had in your head you would do it for things like this. It doesn’t sound like ectopic if what others have said about the pain being excruciating, but it would be good to put your mind at ease. Also might help if you’re hoping to be more present with your son this week as then once you see everything is in the right place you’ll have a bit of reassurance

@AnnieApple123 maybe phone EPU and see if they can check for eptopic, it's what they are their for 🫠

I meant 💙
Not 🫠 ffs 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

I actually did laugh at the 🫠 @sally16 😂😂😂 was thinking that’s such a funny one to use haha!

Thanks so much @sally16 and @PumpkinEverything . I’ve just spoken to them and they didn’t think what I described sounded concerning (basically an occasional one-sided twinge). They just said to keep an eye on it and get back to them if any gets significantly worse.

Glad you were able to speak to someone @AnnieApple123 - sending you positive thoughts 💙

@somuchtolearnabout we haven't decided on location yet but we were thinking maybe Croatia could be nice and looking to go end March/beginning April. I would like to be in my 2nd trimester 🤞🏼

@AnnieApple123 Funnily, I've had a few twinges today up on the left hand side (not down near the uterus) and wondered if it could be the cyst they saw on my ovary. Perhaps that's what yours is too?

@AnnieApple123 I also had these fears as I was getting a sharp pain sometimes on my left side especially during sudden movements and remember I got it quite bad I had to sit down, but nope not ectopic when I had my scan so that was one less thing I had to worry about!

@TheBirdintheCave you may find it baffling the level of confidence some of us have that we are going to end up going home with a baby, but that's a coping mechanism for lots of people. Hoping for the best. The same way your coping mechanism is preparing for the worst. I don't think it's fair to project negatively on others for trying to enjoy and think positively about what is hopefully a really exciting new chapter for them.

@somuchtolearnabout this exactly!
I've not even had a scan or bloods done., just presuming it will go as my last pregnancy and end with a baby in the cot next to me!
None of us know what's coming really, just need to live in a hopeful bubble 💙

@somuchtolearnabout completely agree.

Our Christmas Ocado delivery just arrived and I forgot to amend the alcohol order - was really looking forward to a nice glass of port after DS was asleep this Christmas. Guess I'll put in the back of the cupboard for next year... 🙃

I think all the people talking about Croatia don't already have little ones, but we went there earlier this year when DS was just 2 and it was amazing. We went just before holiday season started, it was super warm, the beaches were brilliant for him and us (very shallow sloping with stones). We just stayed on one island (Vis), but visited Split on the last day. Really great holiday destination, buses and ferries were great - highly recommend!

@somuchtolearnabout 100% in agreement!

I’ve stayed away from this thread for a bit as the negativity is hard to deal with. It’s not “baffling confidence” it’s just living in the moment. God if we all sat and thought nothing good would ever happen, it’d be a pretty horrible place.

yes we can be realistic and acknowledge that sometimes getting pregnant doesn’t = a baby BUT we can also be excited as guess what, sometimes it does!

please no one feel guilty for being excited, planning for the future or telling people your wonderful news ❤️

(Sorry for the rant, just sick of feeling guilty for being happy. I’ll disappear back under my rock now)

@somuchtolearnabout It's fine for them to think like that, I was just saying I don't personally understand it. But yes, I think it's better I stay with the girls in the miscarriage group so that I'm not depressing everyone 😂

Thanks everyone for the congrats on the scan, was so lovely to see those messages! 💙
Had a very busy weekend and been feeling rubbish with sickness, can't believe there were 9 pages to come back to 😂

I would say that it's not "much better" to think negatively. All it does is prolong the sadness and upset, sometimes unnecessarily, not necessarily making it easier at all if something bad does happen. I am predisposed to thinking negatively due to my mental health and all it's ever done is cause me grief before it was necessary or when it was completely unnecessary.

This is my first pregnancy, and I'm fully aware things might go wrong but I'd rather not spend the entire time worrying about that and enjoy each day (which is hard when I'm spewing 😂) as it comes until I know otherwise.

More often than not, a pregnancy will lead to a baby. I know that's upsetting for people who have experienced loss, but it's the facts, and I have to work based off that.

I removed myself from the thread a couple of times as I felt it was damaging my health to see so much concern about loss, absolutely made me worry more than I needed to.

I'm feeling a lot better now as I've done a lot of work, spoken to my therapist, and had a lot of talks with my partner about percentage chances (getting him to google so I don't worry myself), and removed myself from this whenever it's felt damaging, but I've had to actively put in the work.

Agree with the comments about it not being baffling confidence, just working off the facts we have, which are until I'm told otherwise, I'm pregnant.

Also very glad to hear other scans have gone well this weekend! 💙

I had my booking appt today,
took absolutely ages 😂😂 But glad I've met the midwife now! All feeling so real!