Hi @TheBirdintheCave I’m breaking my silence in this thread (long time lurker 🙈) because I don’t want you to think you’re alone. Sorry this is so long but I really really helps you ❤️
I really do mean this in the nicest way possible but you should consider taking a step away from this thread and from Mum’s Net, as I wonder if it’s making your anxiety worse?
Ive had multiple MC’s, so I’m entitled to early scans at EPU and honestly wish I hadn’t gone. I was also measuring smaller than I should have been. I spoke to the nurse about it and hopefully this will make you feel better:
She said she sees loads people who measure two-three weeks behind their dates and they are perfectly fine. I specifically asked her if she was saying this to make me feel better and she said no. This is a nurse who has previously given me a 50:50 chance on a scan with a heart beat (the gestational sac wasn’t growing properly), so I know she is willing to give me bad news and to be honest with me.
I’ve read academic studies that say MC rate in people dating behind is higher than those who aren’t (obviously) but the stats aren’t 90% you’re going to miscarry. They’re massively in your favour especially since you’ve seen a heartbeat.
Scans are “not an exact science” (her words) and they hate dating people at this stage as they are inherently unreliable and that’s why they are not offered as a routine on the NHS. They often cause more stress than they resolve and it’s because everything is so so tiny.
The difference between 6weeks and 7weeks is 6mm. That’s essentially 1/2 a CM that they are trying to measure through ultrasound. There are many variables that can make this task harder. For example, I’m overweight (categorised as obese 😬🙈 thanks steroids I took to try and keep me pregnant earlier this year 🙄), that means that it’s much harder to scan me. Fat absorbs the sounds waves and bounces it in different ways meaning the scans aren’t as clear. Being gassy can make scans less clear. Having a tilted uterus can make scans less clear. Heck, even being tense can make scans less clear (so if you go into a scan and you’re panicking it can be much harder for them to see).
All of this is why they don’t like to scan you with less than 2 weeks between scans because even when you’re growing perfectly normal, putting the mouse literally 1mm out can panic you, but it’s really not beyond reasonable doubt that they can be many mm’s out when you consider all the variables. You have to be in the right position, the wand has to be in the right position and there can’t be other things blocking the view.
Regarding spotting, many people have spotting and go on to have a healthy pregnancy. I know it’s terrifying and I’m so sorry you’ve experienced it.
There is absolutely nothing you can do other than look after yourself. Pregnancy after loss is such a bloody shit show. It’s filled with anxiety and that is totally normal. But you have to try and let it go. As long as you’re not doing hardcore drugs and drinking to excess there isn’t anything that you can do.
Google and Mum’s Net can’t tell you if you’re going to have a MC - this is something that I’ve had to really train myself to believe and I’ve definitely relapsed and googled things I know won’t help. But it’s the truth. There are positive and negative stories of basically every experience in early pregnancy.
I really do have all my fingers crossed for both of us that we’re in the lucky ones who measure small and end up with a successful pregnancy. I know it’s so hard to do, but try to forget about being pregnant and distract yourself. Look after yourself ❤️❤️