Due August 2023 (Thread 3)

[BoodifulGoose]

Follow on from thread 2 cause we talk, a LOT 😂

www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/4693024-due-august-2023-thread-2?page=40

Oh @mgwyegve what a worry. Sorry things disturbed your night. I had some light pink spotting progressing to brown on the same day at 6+2. Spoke to EPU twice. They weren’t concerned and I’ve had nothing since. Fingers crossed it will be the same for you. xx

@Knov20 I’m so sorry to read your news. Hope it happens again for you soon. xx

Thank you ❤️

I actually, personally, love all the excited posts. I’m not on any of the pregnancy after loss threads because I find it takes me to a place I don’t want to be in terms of being anxious, so I can definitely understand the way you feel about reading negative things. I just wanted to put the other side across too.

Reading all you guys be so excited actually really helps me.

I also definitely don’t think anyone is stupid for thinking it will end well, the stats (and my PHD from the University of Google in all things early pregnancy related 😂) says that the vast majority of people posting in here will get a happy ending. My only thoughts concern me and thinking I personally won’t be one of them.

My due date is at the start of August so I’ve been reading along since thread 1.

And as I’ve stopped lurking to post this I just want to say:

Who ever had the dog that got covered in paint, I genuinely lolled so much at that post. I have the same breed of dog and the idea of that happening to her really made my day, so thank you 😂😂

Right, I’m going to go back to enjoying all your posts from my creepy little lurk space now. 😂

@somuchtolearnabout

Ok ok fine! I get the message. Autistic people aren't wanted here and nor are negative people or people who have any worries or concerns. We either have to (selflessly as you put it) stay in the background, not share our histories and just read the happy comments of others or mention our concerns and be ignored (as I've seen happen to a few posters before who were worried about pain or bleeding). Life is not always a perfect bubble of joy and I'm not going to pretend that that's the way I feel when it isn't. It's disingenuous.

The way you're writing these messages is like you're suggesting I've been going around telling everyone they're going to have miscarriages! I have never said anything of the sort. I've been talking about MYSELF. When other people have posted about their worries I've tried to be supportive and helpful, never negative. I've only been negative towards myself and marvelled over the fact that other people can be happy and plan for the future because I wish I could do that.

Once again. I wish I could be happy. I wish I could be excited. I am thoroughly jealous of everyone who believes they'll get a baby at the end of this. It must be a fabulous feeling.

So, congratulations, you have succeeded in chasing me away. I hope you feel pleased that, over repeated posts, you've forced out and isolated a worried autistic person who just wanted an outlet for her feelings. I won't post here anymore.

Hi everyone!

I got a positive test this morning at 10dpo (as well as two torch shiners at 8 and 9dpo) - it's still quite faint but stronger than the previous two. This is our first cycle of trying after I had my Mirena IUD out in early November so I'm quite surprised and won't properly believe it until I miss AF - she's due on boxing day. And if it sticks then baby is due Aug 30th!

@TheBirdintheCave Why are you trying to suggest that I'm ostracising autistic people? What does being autistic have anything to do with it? How do you know that I'm not autistic myself? Stop trying to feign innocence. I know for an absolute fact that you've upset a LOT of people on this thread with your repeated shutdowns when all anyone has done is try to be nice, and sympathetic towards you. But each and every time you've just come back with insults or argumentative responses to helpful and sensitive posts.

I've seen you bash us on other threads about us "imagining" with confidence that we'll end up with a baby, and "how are they not being more cautious" - so you can pretend that it was all about you, but it clearly wasn't. You are judging us, and you've made that clear a number of times. It's not nice, and no, it's not welcome. There's a time and a place, and this thread is neither.

@Mulner88 I have my mum, sister and FIL and we still have minimal help really.. rely on nursery more than anything.. everyone works and FIL is in his 80's so he does try and takes him for the afternoon every week and wants to start picking him up from nursery but I worry it's too much for him!
We just cracked on! Sometimes friends are the best support network! My friend is taking my son for my scans etc! She's a life saver! I don't know how I'd do it without her!

@Chocolotandtea no mine didn't, he initially wanted to but I told him as it wasn't a scan I didn't see it being worth the time off work, was totally right, would have been a waste of his time x

@TheBirdintheCave You are not the only ND person in this thread.

Congrats @doughyparton , I was the same as you (although a few more months in between where we used protection, but feel pregnant very fast after having mirena removed) and remember the unreal feeling very well!

@TheBirdintheCave If other posters have been ignored it's because I have nothing to offer by way of concerns around bleeding or pain as I haven't experienced it, so I can't offer any useful advice, so what could I possibly say that would help, that hasn't already been offered in this thread many times before by people with experience?

No one is being intentionally ignored. This thread moves ridiculously fast, and with how disgustingly ill I feel I simply don't have the time or energy to catch up every time.

And I've been put off offering any consolation by your responses as it felt like I was upsetting you further every time.

@Lykoilover
can't check all the updates as feeling awful w/ sickness So unsure if you're here or not, but just wanted to let you know we're now on thread 3 and can't post any more to thread 2 so you may wish to repost your message in here x

@BoodifulGoose I woke up to a mass to catch up on and I still don't think I've caught up 😅

Trying to catch up on this thread, it goes fast!

I’m going to admit that I’m getting quite annoyed about the implication that having autism somehow excuses you for upsetting others and then the accusation of anyone with autism isn’t welcome on here. I am autistic and perfectly capable of understanding if I’ve upset someone without having to make excuses. I joined purposefully so that I can be part of this thread because, I hope, this will be my last pregnancy that will result in a healthy baby. I have also been welcomed and felt the wonderful support of this group.

my wife and I have suffered losses before and I’ve found it incredibly hard at times to read some words, regarding loss, that are very triggering. I’ve taken some time away when that has happened or tried to focus on others so that I wasn’t falling into a place and mindset that I really didn’t want to be in. I am well aware of the chances and statistics surrounding pregnancy. Too aware but we are choosing to celebrate this baby until we are given a reason not to, if that even happens this time.

Its perfectly fine to process being pregnant in whichever works best for you, only you can know what that is. But it’s very difficult when there is judgement being thrown around about how the rest of us choose to celebrate our pregnancies. Especially when it is on a platform designed to be supportive and somewhere that is, generally, a positive space for us all.

I really wasn’t sure about posting this as the last thing I want to do is upset or offend anyone but I think I would regret biting my tongue further. I don’t want to be afraid of speaking on here, that’s the opposite of what I want and why I joined.

I don’t have a lot to say, just that I agree with every word @BoodifulGoose this is my first pregnancy and I have very little experience really.

Totally agree @Rowanandremy

There is plenty of support going round on this thread for all sorts of issues, worries about loss, worries about symptoms, worries about life after baby. We're not being exclusionary of negativeness at all.

But I have absolutely felt judged for being positive about my pregnancy.

Thank you all for your lovely words. I'm really sad but also I know it's not all doom and gloom. I have a wonderful little boy already and this was only my second cycle. I'm hopeful for what's next to come. I'm a big believer in everything happens for a reason. I felt guilty for almost being upset that I'd had a loss so early on and was it okay to grieve a baby that if only just had a faint positive over. Then I realised I was being utterly silly to even question it. Ofcourse it's okay to feel that way. Would anyone mind if I hang out here a little longer? I'm enjoying reading some exciting posts! Also I experienced quite a lot of bleeds in my first pregnancy and everything went swimmingly so if any of you have that try not to worry, it isn't always bad x x

@Knov20 Glad you realised that by yourself because you're totally right, of course you're entitled to grieve. 💙 I'm so sorry to hear it didn't work out for you this time and fingers crossed for you for next time x
And of course! as long as you feel okay being here!

Unsure if this is a silly question or not but I took an antisickness tablet, then immediately (5 mins later) threw it up, could very visibly see it.

Would you take another one in this case or should I just leave it till later?

Is anyone experiencing dizziness? I’ve woken up this morning and just been really dizzy. Then I feel a bit panicked and feel dizzier 😅 I haven’t had this in previous pregnancies.

@BoodifulGoose I am not too sure, but I would imagine if it come up while you should be okay. Is it something you could check with your midwife/go?

@MinnieFirstTimeMum feel weird about getting in touch with midwife (no idea why! She seems lovely!) but just checked with GP receptionist and she said same as you so I'm just going to take one now as it doesn't appear to have dissolved at all!

@MinnieFirstTimeMum Thank you! X

@Nik84 I've been getting dizziness, I had it more just before I found out I was pregnant but still get the odd wave of it now. I've got a blood pressure machine at home and found that my blood pressure fluctuates a lot during the day which could cause it 😊

@Knov20 sorry to hear about your loss and of course you are welcome to stay and offer support to others. Such a kind thing to do! Hope you have another successful cycle soon.

For those asking about bleeding. My sister had it with both of hers and had successful pregnancies but others aren’t so lucky. Call your GP or early pregnancy unit for support if you are worried. Sending love to those in this situation.

Talking about feeling positive and hopeful… has anyone bought any baby items yet? My husband is desperate too. But I think I want to wait until our scan at the end of next week. He just wants it to feel real I guess and he hasn’t got all of the symptoms - although I definitely wish I could share the nauseous feeling with him sometimes so he know what it feels like!