First time IVF age 42

[worrymerchant]

HI - i am 42 and going thru my first IVF ICSI cycle... (already have DS,15ys, and DD 13ys from prior marriage). DH has low motility. Egg Collection produced only 7 eggs, 3 poor quality, 2 failed ICSI, i didnt fertilise so was left with just one egg to implant last thurs on day 2. AM feeling very low about it all. Any positive advice or feedback please?

And now going to drink rasberry leaf tea.

NS

Oooh - wow! At least you don't have to be kept on a ward and can get comfy at home. Have a nice bath and line yourself up some soothing 'valium' for this evening & try to get some rest! Are the contractions any stronger... can you talk through them still or have you gone past that stage yet? Enjoy your tea, take care and hope it all kicks off soon! Lots of love, TNPx

Morning NS - are you still there? Hope you had a goodish night xx

TNP,

Thanks. Still here and waiting.

I did sleep quite well thanks inbetween contractions and pelvic pain. I am going to continue with rasberry leaf tea and hot currys. The hospital have said that if I am 2cm dilated all they will have to do is break my waters on Monday (unless I go into labour before) and it won't be a full induction. I will be much happier if they can work with us rather than against us (if you see what I mean).

Shadow is following me around now and lying at my feet much more frequently than normal. Who knows what dogs sense. I rememeber your story about how the dog slept on the bed until you went into labour but I didn't think mine were quite so sophisticated.

Hope you are well. Has baby begun to drop yet. The fact she is lower has improved my sleep no end.

I can still talk through most of the contractions although there are pretty strong ones that make it more difficult.

Love as always NS XXXX

TNP,

When you get a chance I wonder if you've any advice about what to pack for baby. What did you find particulalry useful first time round?

Love NS XXXX

I think Shadow will be your shadow until he senses things are really getting moving and you need your 'space' - that's what happened with mine. Bless him - they are extra sensitive and pick all sorts of things up, don't they.

I've taken DS2 swimming this morning - of course, the water in the pool went up by a few good inches when I got in. Thundery weather here this afternoon - I'm finding things very 'heavy'. Woman at the school gates asked me if I was having twins . So no, this baby is still way up there with no sign yet of edging down! Bye for now, love xx

Just seen your message above - pack LOADS of bibs (send DP out for some disposable ones if you don't think you've enough cloth ones). Honestly, they spit up/sick up lots and you'll be constantly changing babygros otherwise. Hospitals are really hot places, so perhaps just an extra sheet or v v light shawl to wrap baby in - a cot sheet is ideal for swaddling, which helps them settle their little jerky arm movements. A good load of nappies to see you through until DP can get back with fresh supplies etc. Clothing-wise - a couple of loose or poppa vests and a couple of baby gros, again, until DP can return with refills. I've also got the scratch mittens and a couple of little cotton hats, but to be honest, I don't think I'll use them - midwives don't recommend hats indoors for newborns (useful though if a chilly day when you come home in between hospital and car etc) and the scratch mittens do come off easily. Little softy toy? Lots of love from you!!

Just as important, have you got your own things you'll need sorted out?

TNP,

Thank you for that advice. I kind of have a bag ready which was put together amidst all that excitment the other day but I need to organise it.

Baby has summary baby grows, a couple of heavier ones for coming home, nappies, cotton wool, mittens and socks. There are bibs on the line but we haven't packed them yet and I certainly hadn't thought of a shawl.

V. useful. Thanks once again and speak soon. I was doozing through some contractions just then.

Love NS XXXX

PS We have to put the baby in hats, hospital regulations. More rasberry tea now!

Morning NS - hope you're doing okay (perhaps you've gone into hospital ... here's hoping for you!) Have thought of something else if you get the chance: baby towel. Keep strong and lots of love, TNPx

TNP,

Still here! Everyone in this house is guessing when it'll happen but I think I'll be around till Monday (induction day). I did have painful contractions in the night. I just think here we go and then they stop. I am taking things really easy and getting as much rest as possible but other than feeling periody / achy. Nothing. My mother though went into labour without a show of any kind when she had all 3 of us. I reckon I might have gone into sudden labour if I wasn't a first time mother.

We have packed all the bibs (thanks). I have a baby towel. I reread your suggestions for my own bag which you wrote out a couple of weeks ago. Definately taking that jug. Going to the loo is hard now so I can't imagine what it'll be like later. One of our Indian lodgers is keeping me supplied with hot curries.

So on with the rasberry tea and hot currys.

Hope you are well and the boys aren't too demanding. For all the soreness and pains I have now, none seem as bad as that time between 32-38 weeks. For me so far that was the hardest of the whole lot other than feeling isolated in Ireland.

If I am not in too much pain I can keep in touch through patient line at the hospital.

Love NS XXXX

TNP

Tomorrow's our big day. (Unless I ring up at 6.00am tomorrow and find the ward is full). Wish us luck!

Hope you are well.

NS XXXX

Hello NS - soooo exciting! Will be thinking of you tomorrow, keeping my fingers crossed and looking forward to an announcement soon! How are you feeling today? I bet you've got a whole load of emotions mixed into one, as well as dealing with the physical twinges & contractions etc.

I have just come back from taking DS1 swimming - they get taken separately, as neither of them can actually swim yet, so it was DS1's turn this morning. I couldn't fit myself and him into the loo cubicle, as my bump got in the way and I couldn't shut the door . I am quite despondent thinking how I will manage the next FIVE weeks I see stretching before me ... arrghh.

My advice to you is, if contractions/labour doesn't feel much different today to how it's been the last two days, is to rest as much as you can before tomorrow so that you keep your strength up. All the best of luck, and take care! Lots of love, TNPx

TNP,

I know how you feel. I think that last 5 weeks is really difficult but well done for going twice...is the pool near you? How much water have you shifted? I find I can't judge how much water to put in the bath. It all spills out because I don't make enough allowances for my size. Just think in a couple of years you'll be going swimming three times a week while I stuggle out once a week.

Yes I am relaxing today. No onvious signs of labour progrssing except for a few twinges.

Lots of love NS XXXX

TNP,

Emily Miriam was born at 2.53am on Tuesday 27th May. She weighed in at 8lbs and 7oz so I think it was a good thing the induction happened.

She is well and feeding like nobody's business. I am very sore because I had a ventose delivery and also might have a slight thrush infection. I am exhausted but have a lot of help here. It's great she's with us.

Hope you and the boys are well and we get a chance to speak soon.

Lots of love,

NS XXXX

FANTASTIC NEWS, NS!!! I was just thinking of you and wondering what the news was and so pleased to hear this. Many congratulations to you and DP on the birth of Emily Miriam - how wonderful she's here.

Are you back home now? So glad you've got lots of help - very important in these early stages. All well here - will catch up with you soon, and take care of yourself and babe in the meantime. Will look forward to hearing all about the birth in detail - I am very interested!! Lots of love for now, TNPx

TNP,

V. sore as a result of tearing and a cut. Long messages are now out of the question.

Dogs curious but well behaved!

Lots of love,

NS XXXX

Dear TNP,

Emily is here with me in the front room while I type.

I am just back from hospital after further complications. I suffered an infection in the episotomy / tear wound which gave me a high termperature. I have been in a side room off the main ward.

The care was hit / miss (at best) so I am going to spend the afternoon writing a complaint to the hospital. I failed to get anyone to check the wound before I was discharged the first time which was the worst offence.

Anyway I hope you are well and enjoying the final few weeks of pregnancy. Get in touch soon.

NS XXXX

Hi NS

So sorry to hear you've been back in the hospital with that infection - sounds horrid. Were you able to have Emily in with you or could she stay at home with DP? Hope you're feeling better now & that they've sorted it out for you - and that you get somewhere with your letter to the hospital re your treatment.

I can't honestly say I'm 'enjoying' the last weeks of my pregnancy - I feel sick most of the day and v uncomfortable. Baby was breech on Monday at my check-up - if not turned by next week I may have to start thinking about an ECV which I don't want to do (but neither to I want a C-section if avoidable). So, am feeling pretty fed up and spending as much time either on all fours to encourage baby to shift, or with feet up to encourage swollen ankles to subside.

Hope Emily is doing well & you're managing okay there, love TNPx

Hi,

Great to hear from you. Emily fortunately is doing really well (feeding constantly) and I am slowly recovering. I am annoyed with the hospital because (despite intense pain) they failed to check the episiostomy site before discharging me so I want to write in to the hospital and outline my concerns. Emily was admitted with me because I am breast feeding and you can breast feed with antibiotics.

I guess you are about 36/37 weeks now. Not long till the big day. I take it EVC is when a midwife tries to change the position of the baby in the womb before labour. Hope you are getting plenty of rest when you are aren't competing with the dogs on all fours! It won't be long now before you have a birth anouncement to make and we'll be chatting on the postnatal board.

Hope you are getting plenty of rest and DH looking after you.

Lots of love,

NS XXX

hi i'm new on this site...just bumped into it whilst doing a search. i'm undergoing ivf and i'm on my 2ww( i believe this means 2 weeks waiting....sorry i'm trying to get use to the abb) and would like to get some advice,support,anything,...erm is it ok if i joined in??

Hi faith08 and welcome.

I haven't time to write much because I am recovering from an illness. For now I'll say that the 2ww is really awful but it does pass.

I'll write more in the morning and share my story. Feel free to ask anything and I'll help if I can. The thing to remember is that you are not on your own.

Lots of hugs over cyber space.

NS XXXX

oh newbishad thanks for responding.....oooh dear how are you feeling today?? Hope you're much stronger,how's emma doing?....like i mentioned i'm on my 2ww and almost tearing my hair out with anxiety...right now, sometimes i'm kindda i want to know then sometimes, i'm too terrified to know...did you go thru that??? i've been taking the clexane and gestone injections.the clexane have been ok but the gestone is.....UNBELIEVABLE...my boobs are quite heavy and atimes i feel this dull throbbing on my lower abdomen and back...please what do these signs mean?are they the effects of the injections or something else??? i do hope you get stronger soon...

Hi Faith08

I know exactly how you are feeling. It is awful. If it's any consultion I spent my 2ww on the internet trying to compare my symptoms with other people who had been sucessful. I think we all respond in different ways so it's difficult to say. How far through it are you and when do you test? I had sore boobs and a pulling sensation in my lower stomach, particulalry at night. I also had stomach cramps similar to period pains and was certain my period was coming. All I took at your stage was progestrone so there must be differences in treatment between centres.

Anyway I tested with a home test one day early and got a strong positive. Two weeks ago I gave birth to my first child Emily Miriam. Her birth follows 4 1/2 years of infertility and 2 ectopic pregnancies. I am both exhausted and exhilerated.

I really understand about anxiety. I spent my 2ww and the pregnancy highly anxious. It's natural after all the chemicals we've had to stuff into ourselves.

Incidently I know clexane because I had a DVT diagnosed at 30 weeks. Have you a history of DVT or did they just put you on it as a precaution.

Thinking of you and hope you've got loads of support there and plenty of relaxation.

Lots of love,

NS XXXX

P.S Thanks for asking about Emily. She's doing fine!

hi NS, hope you're much better and how's your little angel doing?? well i had my ET on 03/06 and i'm due to test on the 19th..what's a DVT? i've been trying for a baby since i got married in 2002....never used any contraceptive, never conceived. this is my 1st cycle.i'm hoping this would be it.

Faith08

I've been thinking of you in the 2ww. Infertility is a curse and you've had a long wait from 2002. Is there any explanation? I had unexplained infertility until my first ectopic where they diagnosed me with blocked tubes, possibly caused by endometriosis. I have to say it was a relief to get a diagnosis. Now we had something that could be treated.

A DVT is a deep vein thrombosis or blood clot in the leg. Clexane is often given to people who are in hospital to prevent DVT's from happening so I wouldn't worry about it. I think there is a slightly increased risk of it happening with the highter levels of oestrogen you take in IVF so it might be standard treatment by your clinic as a prevention. I would ask them. Of course I had to take a much larger dose because I actually did have a clot and I will have to take it again after et if I do IVF again.

We've all of us had different methods on here to cope with the 2ww. I just tried to relax as much as possible with plenty of long walks, hot baths (until I realised they weren't advisable and had warm ones instead), rest and support from the family. I never went near acupuncture (although it is linked with sucessful outcome) or tried a special diet (also linked with sucess) other than eating well and staying off soft cheeses.

Thanks for asking about Emily, she is doing fine. Feeding loads and crying. Every time I look at her I realise we are blessed. Her birth follows one of the most challenging times in my life. She was the result of my fist IVF cycle.

Good luck and talk soon.

Lots of love NS

XXXXX