First time IVF age 42

[worrymerchant]

HI - i am 42 and going thru my first IVF ICSI cycle... (already have DS,15ys, and DD 13ys from prior marriage). DH has low motility. Egg Collection produced only 7 eggs, 3 poor quality, 2 failed ICSI, i didnt fertilise so was left with just one egg to implant last thurs on day 2. AM feeling very low about it all. Any positive advice or feedback please?

P.S. I do so look forward to news of WM but guess she is battling the school hols like me.

TNP,

Hi there!

My nice loved swimming and I am thinking of taking her off to a big pool with all the attractions so that she can enjoy herself for the day. Emily might come along as well...she has a swim suit now with swimming nappies. There's a special pool in London with waves apprently and I am tempted to try that (not with Emily though).

I think what you describe at the play attraction place sounds pretty normal to me. If you had PND you wouldn't be there at all. It can be scary with wasps and a young baby (and scary with a dog like Newbie who chases them constantly as well, he can't distunguish between flys and wasps). I think your coping really well with it all. 6 weeks plus can be v. difficult, I found that time particularly hard, the adrenalin rush from the birth was over and I was constantly exhausted from bad nights. On top of that you have 2 other young children. Being a parent is a hard job! By the way I still have anxieties as well...I think I am just better able to manage them now I am not pregnant and thinking I will loose her every 5 minutes. I am begining to think about when I might try IVF again (this time next year probably. I would love E. to have a brother or sister.)

It sounds like the feeding problems with your DD are similar to the ones Emily has had. In the end the only way I could cope was to sumplement with bottle milk, not that I wanted to. In my case I am convinced bottle feeding saved my milk. She has certainly had more breast milk because the break allowed me to catch up on myself. I'm not happy about it though. Hope you resolve it soon...I always eat well unless I am shatted from bad nights! I could never go without food although some of it is of the ice-cream chocolate vaiety.

Anyway must go...am swimming myself sometime today. I've been regualarly the last week but the Chlorine is getting to me.

Oh I meant to ask. How's the vallium TV going?

Keep well and lots of love, look after yourself.

NS XXX

hello everyone!

Again i am really sorry i disappeared again - i really wanted to spend time reading through what i had missed on the thread.

I am just so very happy that you both (NS and TNP) had safe deliveries of your beautiful babies. I hope you have both recovered well and that you are enjoying being mums!!

It has taken me a very long time to recover from the last expereince of the IVF and for a while i totally blanked myself off from anything to do with reminding me about it. Eventually though, i came to feel that all was not lost and that we should try again... SO.. here I am again, at a different clinic this time - the Lister - and I have JSUT taken my trigger in readiness for egg collection on Weds. Things look much more positive than the last time and i have actually gained a lot of comfort from re-reading this thread from the beginning and reading all you kind and comforting words. i kind of feel i have not been a very good friend in the end but i hope you will understand. it's strange but i really do feel that ours was a really personal thread, and i felt you were my real friends. does that sound really weird?!

Anyway, we are busy with trying to renovate the house, plus we have got a new dog - a springer spaniel called Mabel! She is liver and white, about 14 weeks old now, and is absolutely adorable! ANd.. we are gettign another one (springer) at the end of September! how mad is that?

Sam got through his GCSE's in the end but was well below par. We got his results though a couple of days ago and he didnt do as badly as expected with 3As and all the rest B's. In the end the doctor's decided it was severe bronchitis rather than pneumonia but i dont think they really knew what it actually was, as none of the treatmetns really worked and he eventually jsut recovered himself over a period of about 10 weeks.

Well, wish me luck, I hope you pick this message up! i will keep you posted. TNP.. I still wear my orange and pink scarf and listen to my hypnotherapy CD and every time i am reminded of you!

Take care both of you and lots of Love,

WM

PS Faith 08 - how are you? it would be good to hear your news ,adn also MB are you still out there?!

Hi all,

Welcome back WM. I'm glad your in touch again . I've missed you though I fully understand why you couldn't write. I too feel as though you've all been friends. It doesn't sound weird at all.I don't know where any of you live but I wonder if one day we could meet in a cafe somewhere (though I fully understand if you don't want to). I am in the Cambridge area but I will be moving back to Ireland soon. I am planning my next IVF cycle for this time next year!

Emily is here in the room with me as I type so I may have to go at any moment.

Good luck with the cyle WM I will be thinking of you (though I have been wondering how things have been going at other times as well). Is egg collection this Wednesday? Just some thoughts now. Keep the scarf with you. Also look after yourself...can you rope your mother (or someone) into taking the kids to give yourself some time. Have you considered blastocysts...this allows the stronger embryos to be put back...it has quite a high sucess rate in most clinics.

Congratlations to your son on his grades. They are really high. What's he got planned for next year?

Anyway lots of love and luck,

NS XXXX

Hi everyone and a special welcome back to WorryMerchant! It was so lovely to check in just now and see your post. I shall write more to you all very soon but just wanted to say, WM, I shall be thinking of you for tomorrow ... your mention of the orange and pink scarf has made me quite nostalgic and I am straight off upstairs now to hang mine out for tomorrow, when I shall be wearing it all day in thoughts of your egg collection. How very exciting and what a special event ... so shall be thinking of you & sending you my energy.

I wish we could meet up, NS - I think we all know each other pretty well by now and would probably recognise each other! Don't know if the logistics will ever allow it for us but lovely idea nonetheless ...

Bye for now all and be in touch soon, lots of love TNPx

Hi all,

Wish me luck. I have my meeting with the hospital tomorrow re my apalling treatment at the birth.

Love NS XXXX

Thinking of you, too for tomorrow, NS. Stick to your guns and don't let 'em off the hook. Let us know what happens, love TNPx

Hi there you two! I am so happy you are still out there!!!

TNP you brought a tear to my eye when you said you will be supporting me tomorrow with your pink and orange scarf .

i too think we know eachother so well it would be lovely to meet. I am in the south bucks area. at the very least it would be nice to perhaps be able to email eachother proper and i could send you photos of Bilbo and Mabel!!!

NS - the best of luck for you tomorrow at your meeting. i am not sure I read all the details of what this is about but generally speaking with these things I would remember to take a notebook or assign the task of making notes to someone who is goign with you - and although it's hard, try not to let your emotions get the better of you. On the other hand, dont let them fob you off either!

Let us know how it goes.

Off to bed now as have ot be up early to get to clinic in London by 7am!!!

Will write more tom to let you know how it all went.

Lots of love in the meanwhile and thank you both SO much for being there. i am so glad we are back in touch.

WM xxx

Worrymerchant - we had ICSI at the Lister when I was 39. It worked and we have a beautiful daughter. We'll always be in their debt.

Good luck tomorrow!

Thanks so much Fan! It's really good to hear encouraging news like that at this time. Well, it's 5.30am now, and we are about to set off! speak to you all later! WM xxx

My goodness, you've got an early start WM. I expect you'll be one of the first for egg collection today? I've had my scarf on since early this morning & will be thinking hard for a good collection for you and that you're not too uncomfortable etc.

I am in Glos - so, between us, we're spread pretty far and wide! Love the email idea - would love to see and send pics. WM, I have you down as Minnie Driver type lookalike, and NS I think you are a much younger Kim Cattrall type! I, of course, am a dead ringer for Elle McPherson .

Hi all,

By the time you get this I teckon you will have had the egg collection WM. I am thinking of you today (willing those sperm on!!!) and thanks WM for wishing me luck when you've so much on.

I will write again later today. Love the email idea.

Love NS XXXX

Hi there, it's only me!!

Well, things went quite well today, especially compared to last time. i dont know if you remember but when i started stimulation then i had only 2 follicles on one side and one on the other, and the sonographer was indiscreet enough to say she didnt know why we were bothering. in the end i had only 4 mature and 3 immature eggs collected.

Well this time I changed clinics and was put on a different protocol and at the first scan after stimulation they counted 19 follicles! Of those about 9 went on to mature as possibles for egg collection and today they told me that they collected all 9 - of which one was not mature enough, one may yet still mature overnight, but the other seven were all mature eggs so we are all really happy as this is virtually a 100% improvement on last time and much more promising.

I feel so much better in myself as well this time. I have been doing a lot to keep myself active and fit including pilates, and have kept up wiht the acupuncture whihc i think has really helped to sort out my cycle so that what ever we decided to do, at least there was something more positive for the doctors to work with.

So we shall have to wait and see what happens overnight. i will keep you posted and thank you again for all your support.
Scarf not leaving my neck!

NS -how did it go for you today? I hope the meeting was constructive.

TNP - your images of what we might be like were hilarious! I do have Minnie's dark curly hair, and have oft been described as a bit nuts but unfortunately am about 4" short of her 5'8" .

How do you think we might be able to pass our emails to eachother discreetly?

BTW glos is not so far for me as I am only about 1\2 hour from Oxford. Shall ask DH what would be a good middle ground between the three of us!

anyway, got to dash for now - love WM xxx

Hi all.

WM Once again thanks for thinking of me while your going through IVF. I forgot to mention that I have a lucky teddy (Fully) that I brought to my egg collection, ET and then eventually the birth. I have sat him up on my bedside with thoughts of you. It sounds as though you have done much better than before...scarf must be working. I'm willing those sperm on! Let us know how it goes.

The odd thing TNP is that I had an inkling you were in Glostershire. Don't know why? I actually spent two years in Bristol before I moved to Ireland so I know the area well, it must have been all those talks about going up and down hills. Funny you are near Oxford WM with me in Cambridge. Nearly the Oxbridge group! If we were thinking of meeting it's probably easier for me to travel because I only have the one child and she can be bundled into the car. It will also be good practice for me to drive before my great trip back to Ireland. Email wise I am not sure. I don't mind posting an email address up here (because I don't have one at the momment so I can start it for that purpose) and you can write to me. I can then contact both of you. If I have to change it for any reason I can do so easily because no-one has it.

Have to go now for tea. Meeting went well and changes in the hospital are being made as a result of my recomendations.

Lots of love,

NS XXXX

Hi you two. Have just signed up to the CAT (on the top of the page) - if you do it, too, we can send our email addresses to each other securely.

Hi you two. Have just signed up to the CAT (on the top of the page) - if you do it, too, we can send our email addresses to each other securely.

Hi you two. Have just signed up to the CAT (on the top of the page) - if you do it, too, we can send our email addresses to each other securely.

This is me - note my slightly new name for when you CAT me! Geddit, geddit.

Ooops, sorry for the multiple posts.

TNP,

Not sure how to do that could you write out a guide for the technically incompetant!

Love

NS XXXX

hi there !

NS - if you go to the top of the page you will see some options highlighted on a blue strip. One of them says 'contact another mumsnetter'. if you click on that it will take you to a page where you need to change your registration details to allow emails and then you have to subscribe - i think it costs £5 for the year and then we can all share our emial addresses!

TNp - I have jsut registered and sent you an email.

NS when you are registered you click on contact another mumsnetter and then enter our nicknames as people you wish to send email to and hopefully eventually we will all be connected!

i hope that wasnt all gobbledy gook

am feeling quite tired now after my early start and the anaesthetic so i think i will be off to bed now. back in the morning when i hope to have more news and also would love to hear more details about NS's meeting and the changes you have prompted at the hospital - I think that is fab news!!!

Love WM xxx

While we are waiting for our emails to get going etc ... as we were ... I just wanted to say what a very positive day it has been for you today WM. Wow - 7 mature eggs with another possible overnight - that's such a good rate - plenty for DH's sperm to acquaint themselves with . I didn't know eggs could be matured outside the follicles. So will you be looking for them to start the fertilisation process tomorrow? I have just googled the Lister and can see why you feel so much more positive about everything this time round. I would feel very confident too being treated there. You must be exhausted after everything today and it's important that you keep your strength up, so bed is the best place for you - look after yourself and I look forward to your news later. Great news about your DS's exam results btw - and with him being so poorly at the time, too, it's even more of an achievement. You must be relieved - what's on the cards for him now? How has Bilbo taken to Mabel - does he still think he's Top Dog or has he rolled over for the new young blood?

NS - so glad the meeting went well - do let us know what the hospital are going to change now - that sounds brilliant that you stuck it through and followed things up. As I've said before I think, I admire your energy to do such a thing - it takes huge mental energy to do that when you've got a new baby to contend with and everything else. You asked about valium tv - hah - I wish I could have more doses but it just never works out that way ... I wish I could have more 'valium books' but concentrating and having the time/energy/wherewithall to do that is a problem too - I am sooooooo slow with my current book and even magazines I don't seem to get through the same ... oh well. How are your dogs with Emily now? So, Newbie is still chasing the flies ... have you got many wasps about where you are at the moment? We've got loads of dozy ones buzzing around - the 'silly season' for them - so I hope he's not catching them - that could be most unpleasant.

How funny you should have guessed at Glos! DH is actually working in Bristol atm. I'm north - just outside Stroud.

Oh well, I shall wait for these emails to get up and working and nip off now to feed DD. NS - she went from 9.30 last night thru' to 3.30 - a new record for us - I felt like a new woman this morning for a bit of not-so-interrupted sleep. Have you had any more complete nights - you lucky devil? Lots of love to you both, TPx

Hi all,

Wide awake at 11.00am.

I have tried to do this but I don't have a credit card because I live in Ireland.

I will try and think of something else. In the meantime will speak to you here.

Sleep well!

Love NS XXX

Morning NS!

Don't worry - your idea about having a new email that you can start is a good one, if you don't mind posting it up, then we can contact you and then you can change it/close the old one down if you want. I'm also sure I can get DH to set one up for me for this purpose if you have trouble doing it, so let me know. Hope you've had a good night, love TPx

Hi all,

My email address is [email protected]. Look forward to hearing from you.

WM my thoughts are with you. Hope today went well. Let us know when you've got a chance. Good luck wishes sent your way.

Lots of love,

NS

E. is cooing on the bed next to me as I write.