Almost 48 and pregnant- what the actual firetruck?

[Goodgreiftroolyrooly]

NC for this (long time poster).

My head is in a complete spin. I'll be 48 next month and have a 6 y/o I gave birth to when I was 41. It took seven years and two miscarriages to produce our dear child. I so thought I was done.

No, I haven't used contraception or even kept up with avoiding sex in mid-cycle. Yes, I'm an idiot. But I so thought that was all over....

We are so not up for this. No way. Looking at my options.

Holy fuck, really? Thanks for letting me rant, I cannot believe this.

You've both had a major shock and shouldnt be taking any decisions just yet. Unless you both have the genetic disease it doesnt automatically follow that this fetus will have it. Would you feel differently if you knew this child was healthy? Do you want an early scan/genetic tests or do you feel you couldnt cope with a second child anyway? It is tough having a teenager at any age but worse when you are older.

There is a high chance you will miscarry, probably a higher chance if the fetus does have the genetic disorder.

@Goodgreiftroolyrooly it's important to get your pregnancy confirmed by your GP asap. I think there are a few conditions that are more common as you get older that may produce a false positive pregnancy test. I remember at least 1 poster on here in a similar situation to you, who thought she was pregnant when it was something else that was causing high hCG levels (ovarian cysts, pituitary gland disorders for eg. can do this)

Too late for OP, but a reminder for those under 50 - you need two entire years/twenty four months without a period to have reached menopause. For those over 50, just one period-free year/twelve months. Many GPs, and women's health specialists forget to flag up the under 50/two years period-free thing or the need to use contraception.

Given how many of us experience erratic periods during our 40s, best use contraception if you're sexually active and do not want a surprise pregnancy.

Me too, a decade ago.

Last hurrah and all the while also feeling peri.

Nightmare.

So relieved when the period arrived late.

Scared the living daylights out of us both, as we were so done.

In my wider circle it was alarmingly common (4 familys) to have an unexpected pregnancy after a 10 year gap, always a 4th child.

Unfortunately each child had complex SN's and it really was like dropping a bomb in the families involved.

It is very early days.
You are right to do whats best for your family.

Mind yourself.

Take care OP, I’m sorry this has happened now. What a shock for you. All the best.

Oldest person I personally know was pregnant at 52, typical age of menopause is 51, otherwise contraception is advised to age 55

I'm just 51 (in September) but still get hot flushes and aroused (take Menopause supplements).

So what should I do? Not had periods for about a year before hand?

All the best OP

I had a shock pregnancy at 40. I knew immediately I didn’t want another child. I had a termination about 8 days later. It was an easy decision but still I felt very guilty. It made me totally paranoid though as we were using contraception. I had my last period at 45 and even now 6 years later, despite knowing it’s not possible, I’m still worried about getting pregnant so we still use condoms 🫤

Going to check via NHS thanks.

@GonnaGetGoingReturns post menopause symptoms continue up to 7 years

But you were having periods and had already gotten pregnant multiple times, why would you think you're immune to pregnancy?

I quite literally in late 30s (37 onwards) was dating a man, and living with him at one point too, but was very 'turned on/fertile'. Knew that I didn't want a child and not with him as he wasn't father material but even if he pulled out, I went to get MAP afterwards.

Didn't want to take BCP but didn't want to be pregnant either.

It was quite a shock that my hormones were all over the place and into my 40s, almost forcing me to have sex and get pregnant! Luckily I ignored them!

Can you get pregnant post menopause?

A friend of mine from NCT just had a baby at 48, that wasn't planned either! We met when we had our eldests ten years ago. FWIW she had a trouble free pregnancy and birth and is loving life with her now 10yr old, 8yr old and 4month old. However I'm only 37 and would be gutted by an accidental pregnancy now. My youngest is also six and I am just not in that headspace any more.

All the best op. Enjoy that wine.

Solidarity OP. I'm 47 and period is 2 weeks late having been regular as clockwork. Putting it down to menopause on the basis husband has had the snip but if it turned out to be some mad chance pregnancy I would not be up for it. I love the kids I have but I'm done.

You poor thing - you must feel blindsided. Hope it resolves itself quickly.

For crying out loud, is there really any need to berate the OP like this? She's clearly in a difficult situation and does not need Judgy von Judgeburg wagging the finger.

Thinking of you OP, it must have brought up all sorts of emotions.

No, you cannot get pregnant post menopause (although perimenopause symptoms such as insomnia, anxiety and hot flushes can continue). Have you had an entire year without a period? If you cannot say yes for certain, continue using contraception and track your period.

It might be worth having a female hormone panel done because if your FSH level might show you're no longer releasing eggs. Additionally, if your oestrogen and progesterone levels are minuscule too, then one can conclude you are no longer ovulating or menstruating.

Also, some contraception only protects against pregnancy anyway, so if you're sleeping with a new partner, use condoms as they will protect against STDs.

Hugs OP - it sounds like you have probably made your decision but good luck either way.

I am 50 and still having semi-regular periods, and definitely still ovulating! I had a few months with no periods early on this year but now I am thinking that was due to the covid vaccine.

My son is 20 next month and I would definitely not want a surprise!

Bless you OP. I’m a similar age and I couldn’t handle it either. In similar shoes I am 99% sure I would be terminating

However I think you and your dp should give yourselves a few days to think it over and discuss all the pros and cons, and sleep on the decision too. I think it’s best that it is a considered, calm decision not a spur of the moment one. If the latter, you could come to regret and you really don’t want that.

Ah thanks for that - no period for a year!

I'm sure the last time I saw my GP about this she said FSH levels were very low. Am sure I am not ovulating and definitely no periods.

Feel relieved but if you google although most sites say impossible for a year when in post menopause some sites say you can get pregnant?!

Halle berry has the same story as you. First child at 41 next one in late 40s. Stephen mangan and his wife had a late pregnancy too. Did you only want one child?