Almost 48 and pregnant- what the actual firetruck?

[Goodgreiftroolyrooly]

NC for this (long time poster).

My head is in a complete spin. I'll be 48 next month and have a 6 y/o I gave birth to when I was 41. It took seven years and two miscarriages to produce our dear child. I so thought I was done.

No, I haven't used contraception or even kept up with avoiding sex in mid-cycle. Yes, I'm an idiot. But I so thought that was all over....

We are so not up for this. No way. Looking at my options.

Holy fuck, really? Thanks for letting me rant, I cannot believe this.

OP - if you got genetic testing would that make your decision easier? Eg to keep?

Op you can refer yourself online on the nhs website so you don’t need to try get an appointment with your doctor to get them to refer you

Hugs Op. I was forty something and found out I was pregnant. I had previously had an ectopic so whilst I didn’t want a baby I was pleased things were still working.
I also miscarried.
This might be TMI but I had heard orgasms were good for “unsettling” things in the early stages. It seemed to do the trick. Might be worth a go.

I think our bodies have a premenopausal last hurrah and flood us with whatever it is they can in a last ditch attempt to procreate before it’s too late.

I've heard of this as well - in fact FIL mother was 52 when she had him and his twin. I know some posters on MN insist it must have been a young female relative but in their family there were none at the time and they are the absolute spiting image of older siblings - while cousins have tended not to be.

Though at same time numbers of women having babies this age are small - as PP numbers show.

I can image it being a shock - and TBH not sure we'd welcome such a shock as I'm 45 but my kids are all teens and honestly don't think I have it in me again.

Your resolve is to be admired.but you said about you and your dp “you guess” are you sure your both ok? This needs both of you to keep talking and on the same team.
my friend was determined but the other way and is a brilliant mum.
so I think the key thing is knowing what you want.
give yourselves a bit of time to let the shock settle.

I fell pregnant unexpectedly at 45 after having 3 children. I knew I didn’t want another but my husband would have found a termination very upsetting so it was a difficult time. He was in tears before we met with a consultant. She told us to think about it a while longer and subtly gave us the message that it was more likely than not that it wouldn’t progress. She was right and it didn’t thrive. Thinking of you OP.

Well don't beat yourself over this - given your history I'm not surprised you didn't have the idea of conceiving at the front of your mind. Maybe my comment is too late and you've made you mind up already - and as you speculate - you don't know if this would go full term or even very far at all but - is there a rush to make a decision - it's a gobsmacking shock - maybe you should give yourself a week to let it sink in then make a decision - it's not going to cause any more of a problem is it? Given the genetic problem with your other child do you know if there is any kind of testing that could confirm or rule this out? Did they tell you there was a chance it could happen again? Is it an inherited condition, a combination of two recessive genes or just purely random? Good luck with whatever you decide. Life eh?

Ah that's so rough OP, I'm so sorry you're finding yourself in this situation. I'm 42 and pregnant with my second, and have decided this is definitely it for me. Its been a lot harder this time around, I couldn't go through it again 😪 Best of luck to you x

My mom was born to a 45 year old and her sister ( my last aunt) was 26 years her senior. Aunt had last child aged 48.

I had my last baby at 40 (totally planned) and am now mid-40s. I thought there was a small possibility I was pregnant recently and it was the first time in my life that I would have been truly horrified. It's not an easy decision but go with what your gut feeling tells you.

Aren't we lucky to live in a country where we do have options?
No judgement here, OP. I would do exactly the same.

Coming at from the child’s prospective my mum was 48 when I shocked her!
she was the same as you scared confused already had 3 DC all much older than me.
my DB was 15!
(her youngest)
but I found that growing up she was so much more patient had more life experience and we had the most amazing bond because I believe it was because she was older when I came along she did think of termination with me but I’m so happy she didn’t and so is she.

please don’t allow your fears to take over.
take your time to process.

big hugs 💐💐

Gosh no judgement here either. You have to do what is best for YOU and your family.

I'm perimenopausal (aged 48, verging on full on menopause) and was talking to my Mum about it yesterday (she was still having periods until she had a hysterectomy at 51.)

She reminded me 'not to get caught out' at which point I said it was highly unlikely as DP had had the snip just after we got together (4 years ago). It's not often she's lost for words!

Seriously though, be kind to yourself and hope all goes well.

You sound absolutely clear about what you want. Hopefully nature will take its course but in the meantime get the ball rolling by phoning bpas or Marie stopes. Enjoy the wine x

We know someone who had a healthy baby at your age, their elder children were late teens. They were a bit shocked at first but are really enjoying it now.

My great grandmother got pregnant with her last at 49, giving birth to a healthy boy at 50. It worked out very well for her but she said she was definitely despondent when she first found out.

I had my last period at 55. I think some people are just fertile for much longer than others. May be a genetic test can be done to see if there is with this one the genetic issue the first child has? Whatever you decide -good luck with it. It might miscarry. Tony Blair's wife had their 40th in her 40s and the 5th when she was about 47 miscarried.

oh OP!

what a freaking curve ball.

I hope it’s taken out of your hands, but what’s good is you and DH are in agreement

I had planned healthy DC 4 at 43. Took 2 years of trying, but was all natural - got there in the end.

(Still having reg. periods at 52 🙄)

I wouldn't wait OP. I'd get yourself booked in.

Really silly question but if you're 51 with no periods what's the chance of pregnancy or not?

Dating and probably having sex soon, unsure whether to use contraception?

I think it depends on the individual but I'd use condoms in your situation, especially with new partners.

The last hurrah is real - gotta get those last eggs out.

It’s obvs really unusual to have a baby at the age of your great granny in law, but I think it was viewed as a bit less surprising in the past, when we didn’t have reliable birth control and couldn’t plan families to the nth degree. A very tiny number of people have a late finish to fertility.

A friend of mine had a surprise baby at 47 recently..

Condoms are a must but just wondering when you get past the condom stage?

I'm sure I also heard of an acquaintance who had a baby at 47 too... and not that long ago either. Friend of a friend. Didn't think she would get pregnant apparently.

@GonnaGetGoingReturns

I think (Google NHS to double check) that past 50, once you haven’t had a period in a year you are regarded as fully menopausal and thus safe.