AUGUST 2022 (Thread 5)

[Beth262]

New thread

@PopGoesBang I would say it defo will be a side effect to the epidural I had one with my 1st and sometimes still get random back pain etc. but hopefully it will start to ease soon for you! X

Thanks @mamaof2girls most days I kinda roll with it, but not feeling 100% today and think I'm noticing it more. Hot water bottle is helping. Thank goodness the temperatures dropping 🤣
Hope you are doing ok and survived the nursery runs last week. I find I miss the routine of school at weekends (never thought I'd say that) I get very lost when things are relaxed 🙈

@mamaof2girls I'm bottle feeding my dd is taking 4ozs 6 times a day and is 5 weeks

@PopGoesBang yeah are you able to take any painkilllers to help ease it or a nice muscle soak bath? Yeah all good little one will be 4 weeks on Wednesday is going so fast already. Yeah managed the nursery run tiring but got through it haha. Off tomorrow but back at it Tuesday! Yeah I feel like during the week routine is perfect weekends I feel more lazy and tired and in a cba mood! X

@Gem2811 aww thanks my wee man takes 3oz every 3/4 hours and is 4 weeks Wednesday! Sometimes he only last 3 hours specially through the night but during the day I have to wake him sometimes as he over sleeps the 4 hours! X

@mamaof2girls my dd was like that until she seemed to work out what day and night is long may that continue 😂😂

@Celyn22 congratulations! So pleased baby is here and you're at peace with the birth you got not being what you wanted, it can be hard to come to terms with.

Congratulations @Celyn22 sounds like you had a really difficult birth. I hope you're recovering quickly.

@Gem2811 I am so jealous of your ittle sleeper! I'm lucky to make 2 hours in one go 😭

@Beth262 I am lucky to be fair however she's not always one for going back to sleep in the middle of the night 🥱😂

@Gem2811 In that case, I'm not sure which is worse 😂

hey guys, sorry i've been quiet. We're 6 weeks old and going through the 6-8 week sleep chaos. I noticed that was the worst time with my daughter... and here we are again with our son. He wakes at 4-5am and is ready to party. Waiting for my new swaddle to arrive to strap him down 😂

Otherwise, he has a pretty hefty birthmark which is on his lower cheek/ear/neck, and I wasn't concerned about it at birth, but it suddenly puffed up. Apparently it is very common in low birthweight/premie babies, and is a haematoma (non cancerous tumour and something to do with blood vessels near the surface), but given where it is we're suddenly in doctors appointment chaos. There is a syndrome called phaces which is associated with this one type/physical location and has a 20% or so chance of being positive. All in all, it doesn't seem too bad from researching as it more can cause developmental delays etc, rather than real issues, but can have some other issues, so they are doing a lot of tests to rule it in/out and have him on beta blockers to reduce the swelling. I feel awful that he is 6 weeks old and tomorrow has a EKG heart check and on thursday has to get an MRI on his brain and spine which I think is going to be 3 hours long and will put him under anaesthetic. I know i'm in america and they are overly cautious, and this means if there is an issue even unrelated to this they will find it, which is good, but i'm a nervous wreck today. I think as the MRI place had us on a waiting list and then suddenly found us a spot, then moved us up to first place and it seemed more urgent, though they're probably just being nice. Anyway, if anyone has known baby under anaesthetic for a few hours please let me know, i'm a bit thrown by all this and hormones and sleep deprivation probably aren't helping. We had our dermatology consultation last week at the childrens hospital, and I saw a child with cancer and another blind and disabled in the lift, which put it in perspective at the time. Parenting is so hard and i'm just sending big hugs out to anyone who is going through things right now x

@madeleine85 I've had the sleep chaos since birth - he just doesn't want to have any! Which might be fine for him but is making me feel like a zombie!

I'm so sorry to hear about all the stress you are going through with Luke's birth mark. I can't imagine how worried and concerned you are right now given the hospital seem to be moving very quickly over the issue. I know we all have it in our minds that urgent usually equals deeper concerns but it's hopefully just because he is so tiny and they are being over cautious as a result. I don't have any experience of babies with general anesthetic sorry, but here as a handhold for you xx

@madeleine85 oh, I know the birthmarks you mean. The only child we know with one is a few years older and absolutely fine, I don't think they've had any treatment for it but it is in a slightly different place. No experience of the general anaesthetic for a baby but I remember being freaked out going under general myself so that's definitely a normal reaction!

@madeleine85 you've a lot to be coping with and it's no wonder you have concerns and worries, totally understandable and normal. I hope you get some answers to your questions that help reassure you. Have you considered starts a thread on it elsewhere on mn? Someone may have a similar experience and be able to reassure you.
Sending lots of love to you all.

I think my 5 week old is teething already she's inconsolable got a flushed cheek and everything in her mouth all the time. Anyone else experienced this, this early and any recommendations as to what I can give her?

@madeleine85 im so sorry you’re going through all this stress. It must be so worrying for you all. Hopefully you get the answers you need soon.

For those breastfeeding, can I ask some advice. I didn’t bf my first, so it’s all new territory for me, and I’m finding it quite hard. She’s so squirmy and grunting after every feed, and seems super uncomfortable. She’s also very gassy. I know that what I eat can affect her, but I can’t pinpoint what exactly it is that’s worrying her. The health visitors just keep saying it’s fine and trial and error, but I’m getting so many comments from everyone that I ‘must’ try this and I ‘should’ do that….: we’re already giving her a formula bottle at the last feed, because she just doesn’t seem to settle. She also always seems hungry, and feeds almost constantly. I know about cluster feeding, but doesn’t that calm down at some point??? She’s 4.5 weeks now

@Unsure1010 I'm no expert, but dd went through a phase of being unsettled and super windy. I got some infacol and that helped her get the wind up a little easier and after about 10 days I started giving it less and she seems much better.
It may be worth seeing if there is a breastfeeding support group close to you, they may be able to offer more useful advice - and you could ask them about reflux and other possible things that could be causing the unsettled grunty phases.
You'll be doing a great job, so don't let it worry you too much. Easier said than done I know.
She may also just be having a growth spurt - and your milk is still settling so she may be feeding more to make sure your supply keeps up with her needs. It's a minefield!!

@PopGoesBang thanks so much. It’s hard to block out all the well-meaning noise. Especially when things are super stressful anyway, I’m not eating properly and everyone is questioning the quality of milk she’s getting. I’m about ready to pack it in. She gets a formal bottle as a last feed at night, despite cluster feeding from 6 till 9, then after the bottle, sleeps like a dream… HV gave me the details of the local support group today, so going to ring them tomorrow I think

@Unsure1010 it really is hard. But, you are worrying because you care and want the best for baby, but don't forget about you as well. Happy mum, happy baby. I'm sure the quality of milk is fine, if it wasn't I'd assume she just wouldn't feed from you. The fact she is and is cluster feeding would suggest she's just getting the supply to increase as she grows. I hope the local support group can reassure you more.

@Unsure1010 seen that comment on not eating properly - if you're breastfeeding you really do HAVE to eat properly yourself. How can you expect to feed another human being if you don't feed yourself? Prioritising making sure you get a good load of nutrition in you makes a huge difference to your supply and, more importantly, how well you function in general. They do all sorts of weird grunting and noises and cluster feeding so that could well be normal, good idea to go to the support group to reassure yourself though.

Think it bears repeating, if anyone is feeling like they're struggling with something, please do make sure you take care of yourself too. It's so easy to lose who you are in all the new baby noise but ultimately the best thing you can do for your baby in the long run is to make sure they have a mum who is taking care of themselves too. It makes it so much easier to do everything else they need if you are well fed, as relaxed and rested as possible, and taking care of your mental health.

I'll get off my soapbox now, just was so frustrated by how much pressure there was to be the perfect mum and how unable I felt to push back with my first.

Oh and we chucked in the occasional bottle too, they do sleep better after and there were tears (mine). Turns out it's totally normal and bottle fed babies just tend to sleep better in general, wish I hadn't wasted the energy worrying about it.

Oh I wish my bottle fed babies slept 😭 the two year old is giving the 4 week old a run for their money in wake ups! Great advice about taking time for you though, I definitely made the mistake of not doing that with my first and really burnt out and damaged my mental health. This is the hardest part of the baby stage because it's so so intense and it's so easy to lose yourself.

Thanks everyone for the comments. Little bit of a scary time, that really could be nothing but a birthmark. But we’re glad to have good medical care. Tomorrow is the big scan but at least it’s early so hopefully we get safe day release.

@Isonthecase nothing wrong with formula to help feeds in my opinion. Our little one has the loudest stinkiest farts despite my diet being so bland right now. We’re adding a little formula for probiotic effect and using colic drops. We did the same for our daughter back in the day. Hope you’re getting a little more rest. Our nights have been 3 hours max stretches but he unexpectedly did 5 hours today once and I’m so hopeful for longer night patterns one day. please take care of yourself, it’s so important to look after your own mental health. I think the insta mom effect kinda has trickle down to us all and sets unrealistic expectations. One of my mum friends posted lovely photos and updates about her baby, you’d think it was sheer bliss at her house, behind the scenes her baby had full blown colic and they hadn’t slept in months x

@Gem2811 DS had his 6 week check today and I mentioned to the GP how he's very grizzly/High pitched scream type crying the last week or so. After checking all the usual things he said it looks like he's starting to cut a tooth so yes, definitely possible your little one could be teething! He said to use some bonjella (sp.) and to pop his dummy in the fridge to give him something cool to chew on.

Baby had his jabs today. He was fine earlier but is now alternating between grizzling and sleeping bless him.