Due May 2022 (thread 4)

[Bubbasmama2017]

Hi all I hope I've done this right.

@fejkalove just catching up I haven't noticed anything on my notes although my BMI is in over weight category too which was brought up by the midwife but they haven't seemed too concerned at scans. Let us know how you get on! I've got a growth scan on Monday as seeing a consultant so maybe they'll mention it to me then as well.

@luckygreenduck I've had morning sickness again too, when I first got covid last week my taste and smell went and the sickness seemed to go too but it's back with a vengeance the last couple of days!
Also been incredibly tired which I put down to covid but I think is just pregnancy!

@fattycatty82, I'm sorry to have ruined new clothes for you! The experience certainly changed my perspective!!!

re: NCT and your birth - the lovely thing is we all have the legal right to dictate our own care. We just need the support to push back when we feel we need to. I hope your consultant will help with that!

I think it’s advisable to wash new baby clothes to remove any chemicals from the manufacturing process. I’m planning to wait until April so I can hang them on the line!

Re Louis, it’s a French name so definitely pronounced Lou-ee not Lewis. Lovely name!

Any mums of girls (I have a son and expecting a girl this time) what do you dress them in as babies? Obviously vest and sleep suit for night but for day clothes I’ve seen a lot of dress-leggings sets online. Are dresses practical for babies? And if we have a hot May/June do I skip the vest and put her in a dress with bloomers over the nappy?

Sending thoughts to you @fejkalove. Sounds so stressful but I'm sure having the support of your parents will be helpful.

@fattycatty82 I've only been washing new clothes in the past few years, we don't have sensitive skin so don't think we really need to. I did it for the first year and most of the time with DD's clothes, but sometimes I get a bit lazy.

@Sarah239 we have an existing Baby Jogger and I'm looking for a second hand carry cot to use with it. I probably wouldn't have picked it for a first buggy though, as it's quite big.

I'm going on mat leave as late as possible, for me it makes more sense to have as much time after the baby is here than before, and since I have DD to look after anyway, I wouldn't really get much of a break before the birth.

@FateHasRedesignedMost I liked rompers for DD when she was a little baby, I never liked the restriction of waistbands on leggings/trousers. She just wore sleepsuits during the day in the early days, as she slept so often it felt pointless changing her into day clothes! She wore dresses sometimes when we went out but usually just because we'd been given pretty ones. Yes you can skip the vest on hot days (although we were more likely to strip her down to the vest on very hot days, some days she'd even just wear a nappy but only indoors).

@fattycatty82 I'm seeing the consultant on Thursday, rescheduled from 6th January. I was shocked the appointment was so soon tbh, my midwife initially said they tend to do them around 30 weeks. I'm requesting ELCS for the same reason - I don't want interventions like forceps and the only reliable way to avoid emergency c-section is to have an elective one. Also as a first timer at 35 my odds statistically for a straightforward birth are around 50% which is much lower than I'd like.

@GinnyBee I remembered you said this and I'm heading the same way. Our antenatal class last night was on forceps and ventouse (which is only 15% of births on average) and I genuinely think I'd struggle to bond with my baby after something as traumatic as that. There is a bit of history to it... which I won't go into... but I think I'd find something like that very difficult to get over.

I'd love to do it all naturally I really would and it was a magical experience with my daughter (time may have erased the bad bits from my mind!) but I'll be 40 when I give birth and chances of being harassed into an induction is high (37% of births anyway apparently but majority are women 35 plus) so I think I just need to opt for the c-section to take out the stress and uncertainty.

Ive been really comforted by how they encourage skin to skin contact and breastfeeding during/after the procedure and how some women are able to go home 24 hours later too

Morning!
Is anyone clued up with holiday entitlement at work? I'm entitled to is like 21 days plus bank holidays, but the holidays I've been given to take before going on maternity leave is just 21 days, so am I right in thinking I should be getting the full 29 days?! Cos I'm entitled to them so Im technically missing out on the bank holidays I'd normally get paid for? Found this online but can't find anything on gov website

@morphe

Thanks, are rompers the ones without feet? Planning to baby-wear a lot and I think they recommend footless rompers for that so their toes don’t squashed.

I mostly dressed DS in vests and sleepsuits with a cardigan over as a small baby, although I found all the poppers a pain for frequent nappy changes.

When he was a few months I switched to baggy stretch trousers (Maxomorra parsnip pants to be precise!) with a long sleeve top over, as found it easier to just remove trousers for nappy changes (and if the nappy leg had leaked it was easier to whip them off for a fresh pair rather than change his whole outfit). He was a very fussy, wriggly baby though and hated being undressed. I had to give up baby massage as he screamed the minute his clothes came off, while all the other babies were fine 🤦🏻‍♀️

@MissM94 I think it depends on your company policy. Some people get their full year's holiday entitlement when the new holiday year starts, others only accrue holiday throughout the year, so would have nothing at the start and all of it after a year. Maybe your company only give you your 21 days now and bank holidays after? Worth asking because you're right, you are entitled to them.

@GinnyBee yeah my company policy are letting me have all my allowance in one go cos I won't have chance to take them so surely they should of mentioned the back holidays, supposed to have a meeting with my manager this week so will mention it for sure, thank you!

Hey ladies - another "how does this work" question from the American: in the US, when I've hired painters in the past, we agree on a price and a certain number of days/end date deadline, and then a team of 3-4 painters come to do the job. Here, it seems mostly like painters are a solo act. Am I understanding this correctly or am I looking in the wrong places?

Hi everyone, anyone else noticed their discharge going a bit more thinner? Sorry for the tmi gonna mention it to my midwife next week at 25 week apt. X

@aNewYorkerInLondon I'm no expert but yes, I think that sounds right. One person or maybe one + assistant, that's how it normally goes in UK with tradespeople in general I'd say!

@MissM94 I have been reading up on leave stuff a lot and yes, I believe you are correct. Statutory annual leave is 28 days (this includes bank holidays)! I'm not sure if this is actually higher this year as I believe they have just added a couple of bank holidays in early June for the Queen's Platinum-something...!

My understanding is your employer is obliged to either roll any unused days (including bank holidays) while you are on maternity leave to next work year, or give you pay in lieu of time off, or allow you to take the leave.

The exception would be if you handed in your notice midway through the year while on mat leave, then you would only be entitled to the leave you had accrued up to the point of you leaving.

I am planning to use up some leave before I go on mat leave (note your maternity leave cannot start any later than the day of birth, so if you book holiday before birth, and your baby decides to come early, your maternity leave would start on that date and you'd still have unused holiday remaining).

Then I am going to work out how many days holiday I have left plus how many bank holidays I will miss on maternity leave, and confirm with my employer (in writing) that I will either receive this as pay in lieu of time off, or roll it to next year (as I am planning to take full year off)

To be honest when I first heard all this I thought it was a bit odd you still accrued normal leave while on leave, but now that I have read what my entitlements are I am determined not to lose 20 days' pay just for being polite/not causing a fuss. My employer is a good guy and wouldn't try and slip it under the carpet but I'm not sure he's very clued up on maternity stuff so I think the onus is on me to advocate for myself!

@aNewYorkerInLondon don’t have much experience on but previously just had a singular painter, comes to give a quote and time frame Ie £100 and take about half a day. If happy with, agree best day etc and then usually cash/bank transfer after work complete.

@Kittycaz I find mine changes depending on the day of the week so no help there sorry!

@Sarah239 no definitely take everything you’re owed! My employer it is simple as they give full leave allowance at start of year including bank hol days (as we can work bank hol if wanted) do any unused will just roll into next year. Using two weeks before I go on Mat leave as start new entitlement in April 🙂

Hope everyone is well! Got woken up by a horrid leg cramp at 3am this morning, thought those were third trimester problems?!

@LS2020 no worries just something I've picked up on recently.
Yeah I've been having leg cramps for the last week or so I realised the pregnancy pillow I brought was actually making it worse. I had it so bad the other night that my toes went all wierd (like when u get cramp when swimming)

Re leave, most companies (including most NHS trusts) allow you to carry over any unused leave and take it in a block straight after May leave ends (so you’re officially nolonger on Mat leave but not yet back). I think bank holidays are included in carried over leave although no enhancements as you haven’t worked them?

I’m currently on sick leave (HG) so can’t take any AL before mat leave starts.

@Sarah239 that's what I thought! But my manager seems to think I don't get the bank holidays but I get the "accrued" days they take off for Christmas, so I get 24 days instead of 21.. I still feel that's not right though! I think I'm deffo entitled to the bank hols aswell 🤔

Also, does anyone know anything about KIT days? My manager says they have to be used for a purpose, they can't just be used "to top your money up" so I have a feeling he's not going to find a reason to use them days

@MissM94 Nah, the statutory minimum leave is 28 days for full time workers. The reason your boss might think it's 20 days is because the 28 days can include bank holidays but doesn't have to. So for Mon-Fri office staff it usually does include bank hols because the office is closed, but for example retail if the shop is open on bank holidays, you'd get 28 days AL.

Also KIT days are optional. You don't have to do them and your employer doesn't have to offer them.

Oh and gals, it's happened! 😭 I was watching Taskmaster, laughed, and peed! 😭😭😭 Then went to the loo as assumed I must have just really needed a wee, and only a trickle! This hasn't happened since I was in school I don't think. Pre-pregnancy I could even do double-unders without peeing FGS! Time to start doing some pelvic floor exercises I suppose.

Being pregnant is so glamorous 🙄 Media gives us glowing happy mamas walking around in high heels. In reality we're here stumbling along with 4 hours of sleep, back ache, and peeing when we sneeze.

Hi all I wondered why everything was a bit quiet only just found the new thread,
Hope everyone is doing good i currently have covid and 3 out of my 4 dc have it also so not been great! I’ve also been put on the blood thinning injections because of testing positive and they have bruised my belly and so sore they sting so much!

@GinnyBee yep sneezed and wee came out the other morning... I do try and do the pelvic floor exercises but holding for 10 seconds isn't easy!!

Better keep practising.... 😳

Ahhhhh I found you!
Also guilty of coughing & weeing a bit yesterday!