Due June 2022 (thread two)

[CurryandSnuggle]

Continuing the conversation as other thread now closed…

@PeeAche wow, congratulations! What an amazing month you are going to have What’s your due date?

@Bridgey8 yes me I’m five weeks and had it on and off for two nights but it’s totally settled down now. I used to have ovulation pain too so wonder if we feel things more around there. I wouldn’t worry unless the pain gets horrendous or it’s with bleeding.

datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

Here is the link!

I am feeling so nervous today. Went for a walk which helped. I want to tell family but also don't... Anyone else stuck with that?

@Bridgey8 9.8 for me so we must be close!

I think the panic is slowly setting in. My life is going to change 😬 we've longed for a baby for years, we waited for the right time for a few years then it took 2 years of trying to conceive. Now it feels a bit mad... I'd written off that it would ever happen to be honest!

@rathernotshare ah I am 6+4 what about you? Im not letting myself believe at the mo!!

On telling family - I haven't yet - I might have an early scan and then tell if all ok. Sounds silly as if I miscarry I will prob tell them anyway so not sure what's holding me back now?!

@hellointhere

I am feeling so nervous today. Went for a walk which helped. I want to tell family but also don't... Anyone else stuck with that?

We've told close family and friends. It's honestly a weight off our shoulder and god forbid anything happens I know I have a support system.

We were ivf though! X

@Bridgey8 6+5! We haven't told anyone either, but we will if it goes wrong. I won't see family until Christmas (they live really far away) and I want to see the tears in person 🤣

Gosh I am struggling so bad with nausea, I just feel rough and a bit bloody miserable to be honest. It’s so hard to concentrate at work! Also don’t fancy anything we’ve got for dinner ever.

Im planning to keep my pregnancy a secret for at least 4 months. Mainly because last time evry tom, dick and harry found out somehow although i told one person. Then people were still congratulating me after my miscarriage.

How many people have you guys told already??

Yesterday I felt so sure this baby will be in my arms in June but today I'm convinced of miscarriage. My brain zig zags from one "certainty" to another in the most exhausting way. I don't feel like I can keep a lid on my own racing thoughts.

I booked an appointment with my GP on Monday to explain how anxious I am but he was really, really unhelpful. It was over in about 3 minutes. He told me to get some sleep and if I'm still "feeling bad" in a few weeks, tell a midwife. I described my thoughts as in "crisis" and he said it won't help my pregnancy if I'm "alarmist about things".

I am saying this here because I literally don't feel like I can say it anywhere else and be taken seriously: there is something wrong with the way my thoughts are operating at the moment. I feel manic with extreme anxiety and I think I need actual help. I have never felt this way before. Is this just hormones???

im so slow just realised you guys were discussing this already oops

@PeeAche

Yesterday I felt so sure this baby will be in my arms in June but today I'm convinced of miscarriage. My brain zig zags from one "certainty" to another in the most exhausting way. I don't feel like I can keep a lid on my own racing thoughts.

I booked an appointment with my GP on Monday to explain how anxious I am but he was really, really unhelpful. It was over in about 3 minutes. He told me to get some sleep and if I'm still "feeling bad" in a few weeks, tell a midwife. I described my thoughts as in "crisis" and he said it won't help my pregnancy if I'm "alarmist about things".

I am saying this here because I literally don't feel like I can say it anywhere else and be taken seriously: there is something wrong with the way my thoughts are operating at the moment. I feel manic with extreme anxiety and I think I need actual help. I have never felt this way before. Is this just hormones???

I’m so sorry your GP brushed everything off so rudely.

But I’m case it helps, I feel exactly the same as you. I try to make light of it and brush it off but I broke down crying twice today because I was convinced something was wrong.

It’s driving me absolutely mad that every single symptom I experience COULD be signs of a miscarriage OR a normal part of pregnancy. Literally everything I Google says both.

For example I went on my cross trainer for the first time in 3 weeks today and got terrible cramps afterwards, now I’m convinced I’ve ruined everything. But at the same time when I do no exercise, I’m convinced I’m not being the healthiest host for a baby. Cant concentrate at all at work either and I’m SO anxious about what’s going to happen when people realize I’ve missed all my deadlines at the end of this month.

Hope this is reassuring and not making things worse, but…you’re definitely not alone.

@PeeAche I know what you mean about one minute dreaming of this baby and the next convincing myself it’s all over and I must be miscarrying. It’s rubbish the doc dismissed you though.

I don’t think I’m at crisis point yet but know I need to relax or the next few months will be hell. The miscarriage percentage website above was really helpful and I’m using a mindfulness app which specifically covers early pregnancy which helps.

If your doc won’t help you can self refer if you are in the uk via this link for talking therapy.

www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/

Hope it helps to at least know you are not the only one.

Oh and I hope the above doesn’t sound patronising. I know talking therapy and mindfulness doesn’t work for load of people. Good luck.

Thank you both. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.

We have moved on to a new thread..
@Wellthiswasunexpected went for a scan at epu today. Too early to detect heartbeat so wil have to go again in a few days.. apparently its a haematoma so will have to wait and see. Didnt get a certain answer

I think, to be honest, I found the second miscarriage harder than the first. It was slightly later and I felt like I couldn't fool myself that this was just "one of those things" like with the first one.

I'm determined to not feel it as deeply if I lose a third. So naturally I'm not allowing myself to feel attached. Some days, I am feeling attached though... and then in the days that follow, I feel so angry at myself for letting my guard down.

And then I'm exhausted and I too get that feeling that I'm being a bad host to my unborn baby, so I try to loosen up and relax and enjoy it... then I start to feel attached... and on and on goes the cycle.

You know, my SIL got pregnant without trying. And sailed through. Not even any heartburn. I feel so guilty about how angry and jealous it makes me.
When I miscarried my second, it started as I was literally holding my newborn nephew for the very first time.

God, honestly. I am a wreck today. I should have taken a day off, I think.

Oh, @MrsNT I've been so worried about you today. I've read lots and lots of people on here with haematoma bleed success stories. When will you know more?xx

@peeache
They will scan again next week so cant do much other than not worry and wait. They did say its normal to get brown discharge at the same stage but then also said can be anything aswell. Lol. Conflicting answers.

At this stage*

Basically i was told we wont know until the next scan if its ok or not..

@MrsNT just seen been thinking of you today. I had no more brown discharge (tmi sorry) or discharge but I’m going to tell my midwife tomorrow and see what’s said

@hwka they did say brown is old blood and is normal. Same as to what we were saying in old forum. I think the fact its too early to see anything in scan i.e hearbeat makes it more uncertain. But im staying positive. Do speak to midwife if you can.

@MrsNT yes it’s such a stressful time! I hate the uncertainty. I’m the same as you, going to stay positive but I’ll tell them at my appointment tomorrow. Hope you’re not as stressed today, it’s a stressful time! I’m going to cook a nice tea and focus on Billie and Greg the family diaries tonight!

@hwka no not stressed now. I met a very very lovely nurse today at the EPU who did my blood pressure etc and she should be a motivational speaker. Loved how reassuring she was. Theres only so much we mommies to be can do . Its just sitting and waiting for the best.the only thing she said we can do is try not to stress out. The doctor said the same too.