Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Cousins DH poked holes in condom - now pregnant again after 4 months?! Serious advice needed...

228 replies

topflower123 · 20/05/2021 00:53

My cousin and I are extremely close - only 1 year apart in age. To date, I have always had a good relationship with her DH and from what I had seen he is a wonderful husband/father.

She gave birth to my niece almost 4 months ago. Since then we have kept in touch with almost daily calls but I am yet to meet my niece in person. Last week my cousin told me (but no one else in the family yet) that she is pregnant again. She seemed really shocked and I must admit I was too but at the time I just listened and didn't probe too much.

This evening she has called me pretty much in tears saying that her DH admitted poking holes in their condoms as he wanted another child soon and didn't want a gap between their children. I am so angry at what he has done that I can't even think properly!! Not only is this incredibly deceptive but also really dangerous as she is only 4 months postpartum. I just can;t believe what she has told me but have no idea what to advise as I am so shocked.

What to do/advise?

OP posts:
OhTinnitus · 28/05/2021 10:25

I'm not surprised you are feeling overwhelmed OP. Remember to make space to relax sometimes, set aside some time each day to do something that takes your mind off it all. Even something fun. You shouldn't feel guilty for doing that. This is a lot to take on.

Hopefully it will become easier once she has some additional support in place as it sounds like you are the main support at the moment which must feel like a lot of responsibility.

You're doing a wonderful thing by being there for her as you are, but look after yourself too. Brew

KEVA9 · 08/07/2021 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ChaiTRex · 09/07/2021 16:48

I feel so much for your cousin… it’s such a betrayal. The sort of thing anyone would normally storm out and leave a man over. But it’s especially manipulative because they have a 4 month old and that REALLY puts her in a vulnerable situation.

I can’t say what she should do. I think in my case, if I was strong enough, I would get a divorce and move in with family (like my mum and dad) for a year or two. Personally, I would probably terminate the pregnancy, and focus on giving the baby I had my all….

Ugh! What an absolute jerk! He deserves the worst!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page