December babies 2021! Thread 3

[Horehound]

Following in from 1 and 2. :)

@TakeYourFinalPosition I also feel like I've been keeping this secret forever. They definitely have spotted that I'm not myself when I have been able to see family - we were all at a funeral (social distance) about 5 days after I found out I was pregnant. I got a call from my mam and gran separately asking if I was okay as looked 'terribly ill' at the funeral. Thanks gran!!

It's a long, lonely time in the first 12 weeks.

For work I find I'm now documenting the conversations I've had about my permanent role so I have some evidence of it doesn't get signed off. Which is crazy as I do trust my manager.

Pregnancy turns you into a loopy person sometimes!

Those worrying about jobs unfortunately it does happen, as it did to me.
I was a nanny to teenage boys so me being pregnant didn’t really affect them or my job. I had to tell them early because of my morning sickness.
Before I told them they were talking about giving me more hours, suddenly after I told them they know longer needed me.
I had to get lawyers involved and in the ended they had to give me a lump sum.
We shouldn’t have to worry about these things but it happens a lot still

Sorry to all those worrying about jobs. Might be helpful for those waiting for permanent contracts but I understand legally you don't have to tell employer until 25th week( so you could weigh up if it's likely you will be made permanent before then!) I understand that if your in a high risk environment you may feel you need to tell them earlier as well. X

I have been reading a lot about our rights when pregnant in the UK and we can ask for a risk assessment of our job, and if there is anything risky for the baby or me then they need to remove the risk, if it can't be removed change my position on the same pay and if that can't be done suspend me with pay, in the case of flying it does sound like a risk if the gp is advising this for the wellbeing of the baby then I would say work need to adjust to the pregnancy as if they fail to it can be considered discrimination. I may not be entirely right as I am foreign and just learning the culture as I have only been here for 2 years. I was reading the nhs website about it www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/your-health-at-work/

@Sair44411 I wouldnt not tell your company u til you've got your permanent contract and it's all finalised.
Legally you don't have to tell them until the 15th week before childbirth.

Unfortunately in my case there's not a chance I am going to be offered a permanent contract, so that's not even on the line. It's whether they can keep giving me the yearly contracts!

Anyway my boss is great, my concern is much more the post-COVID financial situation of the company. Pregnant or not they might just not have the money to offer another contract (in which case maternity will be somewhat of a blessing because then I would actually probably get paid a little bit beyond my contract). But job-hunting with a baby? Panic...

Hey everyone, hope you're all well. Still dipping in and out of here. I'm 9 weeks and 5 days today and hopefully still going well. Just had a quick question for you all. Online it says we are entitled to free NHS prescriptions and dental treatment when pregnant. Has anyone else been told that they are only entitled to this from 12 weeks of pregnancy? I've spoken to a few friends and none have been told that but thats what I midwife told me today when I messaged her to ask her for the forms I need.

Hey, no I wasn't told this specifically but I'm 10 weeks + 2 days and already had my booking in appointment. I had to sign a form which the midwife will send away and I get the dental letter in the post. Not had it yet so it's likely I'll be 12 weeks before it comes!
I'm in Scotland so get free prescription anyway

Work certainty is stressful isn't it!

I'm on a big Mac again... So crap, but so glad I have one thing I enjoy!

At least work being busy means less chance for me to worry about my positive toxoplasmosis... Low chance of passing to baby but such giant risks 😖😭

AnonymousXXIX advising not to fly is a bit strange. There are precautions you should take if you fly long haul like compression stockings and moving around as much as possible but saying no flying doesn't seem right. I flew long haul at about 28 weeks with my daughter and was planning on flying long haul with her when she was 3 months but covid put paid to that. With this baby I'm hoping to fly in march when they'd be around 3 months.

Can't believe I've gotten to 7 weeks and no bleeding at all. This is so weird for me. I'm kind of starting to relax and not expecting to see blood when I wipe! First scan on Tuesday..

@Horehound how are you doing now?
I had my booking in appointment a week ago and she didn't even mention the form to me at all. I've had to message her today asking her about it and arranged to go and collect it today at half 3. I'm starting to wonder if my midwife is new, or not very good. I wasn't really very impressed with her during the booking in apt either. The apt was an hour and a half long and she whizzed through it all, even the mental health part after I told her I was struggling, she just went on to the next question and I was out of the building within the hour. 😢

@Shazza86 oh dear that doesn't sound good, especially about the mental health part. I would really push that back to her even though you shouldn't have to.
My appointment I think was an hour but I was out in 35mins! I feel ok I have had a really bad headache for three days now though, wish it would go. I think it's because I'm not drinking enough because I feel so sick when I do!

That's good you're getting your form today though!

@Horehound sorry to hear about the headaches, I had those a few weeks ago. Have you got your apt for your 12 week scan yet? Mine's the 21st May, not long to wait although I'm sure it will drag.
I think I will see how my next apt goes with her in June and see what I want to do if I'm not happy.

Those talking about work... I have just recently close a tribunal with my work over the last maternity leave. They gave me a significant demotion whilst I was on maternity leave in 2019/2020. I had to raise a grievance/tribunal when I returned back to work in September last year and they ended up promoting me back and giving me a lump sum to shut up!

This was a secure permanent position in a global company so nobody is safe! So make sure you know your rights and stand up for yourself :) it seems silly that this sort of thing still happens but it does.

@Shazza86 My booking in call is 90 minutes long, but I've been told the midwife will try to get it done as quickly as possible... it's not until next week, but they briefed me for it at my bloods apt last week.

They did say that you don't "usually" get free prescriptions or dental care until after 12 weeks, although the midwife would sort out the letter at the booking in appt so that I have it ready for 12 weeks.

@AnonymousXXIX I'd definitely query the flying info, if it's important to your job. I looked the advice up to see if it's changed and my trust was still just out of date... it's still that you can fly up to 28 weeks without a doctors note, and then up to 36 with one, and that they recommend precautions like compression stockings.

@Kinsters If all goes to plan, we'll be flying at 3 months or so too... It's my first, so I'm a bit daunted, but hoping for the best. Any tips are appreciated

@Shazza86 yeh it's the 18th! Can't wait :) I think time is moving slightly faster after hitting 10weeks. Its like ok, a quarter of the way through hehe

Yes that's a good idea about the next appointment. Maybe she just isn't so invested at the early stages which is wrong. Hopefully she gets better!

@Sair44411 I just re-read my post to you and it reads wrong! I meant to say: don't tell your employer yet. :)

TakeYourFinalPosition I wish I had some tips! We haven't been anywhere with our DD yet and she's almost 18 months! I think at 3 months they're pretty easy though. You'll have got the hang of feeding them however you do it, you'll know some ways to settle them, plus they don't need entertaining when they're that age. They're also very portable. At 3 months we'd just put DD in the sling and walk around with her and sometimes she'd be awake and watching but mostly she'd just sleep.

@rosed1008

Those talking about work... I have just recently close a tribunal with my work over the last maternity leave. They gave me a significant demotion whilst I was on maternity leave in 2019/2020. I had to raise a grievance/tribunal when I returned back to work in September last year and they ended up promoting me back and giving me a lump sum to shut up!

This was a secure permanent position in a global company so nobody is safe! So make sure you know your rights and stand up for yourself :) it seems silly that this sort of thing still happens but it does.

That's blooming shocking. I read my work policy and it says I will come back to my role or if not available a role of the same stature or higher, not less. Glad you got a lump sum...the buggers!

@Shazza86 not good about the mental health skim over in your session. I'm currently fine but even in that question the midwife talked about specific group therapy sessions that are in place for pregnant women to get help if needed. She also explained how to arrange this through her if I needed it.
Maybe you could push back or tell her your concerned??

My booking in appt won’t be happening for another month and I’ll be 10+2 😮

Seems ages away. I don’t hold out much hope for my 12week scan to be done in good time at this rate!

Hi all had a wee scan today at 6+5 everything looking good, heartbeat is nice and strong. I have my booking in app at 9+2. Still very nauseous and tired, also really thirsty. But like some have said, water totally bags me up and makes me feel worse. Soda seems to be ok as long he burping gives a little release 🙈

@Moo37 brilliant news! I'm 6+3 today, nice to see what a little bean looks like on a scan at this time! 😊❤

Just checking in! 6+3 today and nausea is now 24/7, been sick already and feel absolutely rotten, awful headaches and dizziness and struggling to get through some days! Should be thankful though, at this point last 2 pregnancies I had already mc'd so all seems to be different at this time!!!

@Moo37 lovely scan pic 💕