He's not happy with the gender.

[TeaBookcats]

This is my first baby, his second baby.

He has a daughter already, today we found out we are having a baby girl. I understand he's disappointed but he won't even sit in the same room as me. He said he hasn't got the motivation for another girl. I said that it was upsetting, what he said, he responded by saying I only think about myself, I'm selfish.

We had our private scan today, where we found out and he was miserable after, before we even knew. I was excited and he was just so down. We did a cannon reveal so his 7 year old daughter could find out with us.

What can I do about this? I’m feeling so lonely and disappointed, I understand he’s upset but this is my first baby, I want it to be special. Do I just let him get on with it?

[nevernotstruggling]

Was this baby a surprise?

I like pp couldn't get past this. It's such shitty treatment of you.

[TeaBookcats]

Thank you again ❤️

The funny thing is, after him not wanting to make any effort to celebrate today as it's his ‘downtime’, as soon as it came to us using the cannons him and his daughter grabbed one each, left me with none. Can't seem to win really.

Hopefully, tomorrow's a new day. I feel like I've been supportive but I have feelings and I can't help but feel disappointed.

[CandyLeBonBon]

And tell him it's sex, not gender!

[Loopyloututu2]

”im not going to lie, I'm extremely disappointed and I haven't got the motivation for another girl” and left every room I walked into.



Im so sorry OP - your “d”h is a vile human being.

[purplebiscuits]

I'd love another girl!

It's unfair as he is making this all about him when you should be talking about girls names and seeing yourselves with a dd.

How do YOU feel about a dd?

He doesn't realise how lucky he is.

I'd seriously be thinking of a plan b.

[BIWI]

What a catch this 'man' is. He wanted you to abort when you first found out you were pregnant, and now he's blaming you for not having a boy?!

I'd seriously, seriously be thinking about why you're with him. This really doesn't bode well for your life together.

[JackRussellJacket]

OP, you mention that you don’t think he is as positive about your pregnancy as you are. How did the relationship with his daughter’s mother end? Does he see history repeating itself?

[toolatetofixate]

@TeaBookcats

Thank you again ❤️

The funny thing is, after him not wanting to make any effort to celebrate today as it's his ‘downtime’, as soon as it came to us using the cannons him and his daughter grabbed one each, left me with none. Can't seem to win really.

Hopefully, tomorrow's a new day. I feel like I've been supportive but I have feelings and I can't help but feel disappointed.

I've just reread your OP and realised this is your first baby. You should be feeling nothing but joy right now. He's ruined that for you. I'm just gobsmacked at this post OP. You should leave him. His attitude is reprehensible.

[Ivfplease]

I’m sorry you have to have a baby with this man. Every time you look at him you will remember when he said he didn’t want his daughter. I could not get past this. I would choose my baby every time. He’s an arsehole.

[Loopyloututu2]

I feel like I've been supportive but

OP, I’m sorry but WHY are you being supportive? You should be handing his fucking arse to the horrible bastard.

Get a backbone - you’re going to need it! (Not trying to be horrible but honestly, the treatment some women put up with)!

[EiffelPower]

Twatbadger. Bin him. You'll be fine on your own.

[GrumpyHoonMain]

With your latest update I think it’s less about the baby being a girl and more that he doesn’t want a baby with you (or may be checking out of the relationship). How are things otherwise? Any suspicions of him cheating?

[Regularsizedrudy]

Wow what a horrible piece of shit he is. Seriously is this the type of shit you want to put up with for the rest of your life???

[FolkyFoxFace]

That's disgusting. I'd be telling the twat to find somewhere else to sleep tonight. He'd have to beg to come back, and even then he'd be bloody lucky. Disgraceful. He should be happy that your little baby is healthy and growing, not getting himself worked up about what is or isn't between its legs. Rank.

[thinkingaboutLangCleg]

Thus us heartbreaking, OP. What a time to find out he is a narcissistic sulker with the maturity (but not the charm) of a toddler. If you stay with him, will you be able to protect your DD from always thinking she’s second-best? Is your DSD picking up the same message?

Best of luck, to you and DD, whatever you do.

[SanFranBear]

I have one of each, DD being the eldest. At the second scan, both ExH and I were disappointed to be told we were having DS - purely because it felt like, better the devil you know and, quite frankly, DD is bloody awesome. However, we both got over it in about half an hour and by that evening were talking names and getting excited to meet the rest of our family.

And, just to reinforce his twatishness, DD is by far the more adventurous of our two - she is fierce, tries anything and does Taekwondo. DS, on the other hand, is much gentler and thoughtful with no interest in contact sports (or any sport, to be honest). Funnily, enough, this is nothing to do with their genitalia and everything to do with their personalities..

Massive congratulations, OP - a baby of any colour is a wonderful thing and I hope you get a chance to celebrate more with your Mum and sister over the coming months!

[Wroxie]

Men (and women, for that matter) who are into MMA are vile. The whole culture is repulsive. I'd leave him just for that, personally.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

@CandyLeBonBon

And tell him it's sex, not gender!

I'd come back to say the same thing!

I wonder how thrilled he would have been to have a male child who decided he was a "she"?

Our children are precious and wonderful gifts - male or female, gay, straight, bi or trans - we are lucky to be blessed with them.

Our children are perfect - perfectly themselves, and infinitely lovable.

If we accepted them for what they are and supported their choices and didn't try to control their preferences we'd live in a much happier world and our children would, in general, be much more confident in themselves.

Pray for good health for your beautiful daughter - that's the only thing you or your partner have a right to have a preference for.

(BTW - what's a "cannon" scan?)

[rach2713]

He sounds like a right twat its a 50/50 chance on either one. Tell him its his fault as its his sperm that chooses anyway.

I have a son from my past and when I met my husband he had none and we had a daughter he was over the moon then I feel pregnant again and it was another girl then I feel pregnant again and shock it was a girl I actually was feeling guilty and was saying sorry to him for not given him a boy and he turned round and said there is nothing to be sorry for he's ment to have daughters not sons and accepted it.

Congratulations on your baby girl you enjoy this time and go looking online a buy stuff for her and when she is born you give her the biggest cuddle and kiss as she will be your best friend ..

[Nannyamc]

Congratulations to you.
A baby is a baby and will only make you happy. Your partner has a lot to learn. Deep breathing now his loss your gain

[Esse321]

Congratulations OP you have a precious baby princess on her way x

[grapewine]

What an ignorant manchild. And why are you reassuring him? Ugh. Tell him if he doesn't "have the motivation" to grow a pair and be a parent to this baby, then you don't have the motivation to stay with him.

[Unsure33]

I don’t think I have said this before , but LTB . He has ruined what should be your most wonderful moment . What a selfish git .

Most people are just blessed to have a healthy baby .

[CoffeeRunner]

Why does this feel more about control to me?

Being angry & distant at you even though it’s a biological fact that the father’s sperm determines sex?

What message does it send to his DD? That another beautiful girl like her isn’t good enough?

Is this 1563?

[Rutherglenn4786]

What an awful Man ! . When I was pregnant with my 4th and my Husbands 1st , he really wanted a Son , I knew he would be disappointed to find out it was a Daughter so I wouldn’t find out , when she was born he fell in love with her as soon as he saw her .