Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

[MotherHubbard2020]

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

Unless your baby is under 6 months they won’t be EBF

It would be surprising if your baby can't go for an hour or two without being fed. How old is s/he?

Wow. On the letters posted to me for my scans it does say on them no children can attend scan appointments.
It's quite universal now due to covid. The midwife wouldn't have freaked out due to you saying you wanted notes on your file about being refused a scan due to having an exclusively breast fed child with you, she simply could see that you were not listening and called security as you were seen as a threat.

It was silly of you to take a baby in with you, but unless you were aggressive, I’m not sure they are allowed to refuse to scan you at a later date (without your baby), especially if there’s only one hospital in the area.
I’m a GP and we can’t remove patients from our list or refuse to see them just because they’ve been a bit arsey once. They have to be consistently rude, difficult or aggressive, and even then we have to give them multiple warnings.

I think you need to speak to PALS, and make sure you leave your baby with someone else in future.

@MotherHubbard2020 you have been refusing throughout to answer HOW OLD is your baby?

Multiple people have asked how old the baby is. Why won't you answer this question? It's pretty important to the senario

Having a family my member who is an obstetrician won't help either op. They can't get involved in family matters or convince a whole department to see you after they felt threatened by you , called security, filed a complaint etc
Maybe try a different hospital?

Baby is probably 18 months old, EBF because baby won't drink water or juice or any thing else

You must have been told that no children were allowed at the scan. It's on every single letter I get about scans.

Given that information why didn't you phone beforehand to ask if a baby could come and if they had any exceptions for mothers who are still breastfeeding?

I just don't get why you would go there without doing that. YABU. Also, obviously we have no idea what exactly went on but I find it hard to believe they would just call security and refuse to see you again if you were being polite about this.

How old is your baby? If your baby is in fact EBF then it seems unlikely that you would have conceived soon enough after the birth for your EBF baby not to be left for a while.

You’re being quite evasive over the age issue so I can only assume that your baby is not exactly a newborn.

I had a bottle refuser and had to go back to work when he was eight months old. He didn’t drink milk for the nine hours I was away from him. He obviously was eating food and sipping water from a cup so was ok. I still hated doing it but had absolutely no choice. But I remember earlier on before weaning having to go for a smear test and leaving him behind when he was four or five months old and it really not being a problem to leave him for forty five minutes or so by then. They don’t feed constantly when out of the newborn stage.

I'd ring and ask to speak to the team leader/manager of the sonographer. Explain and offer to reattend without your baby. They should definitely rebook you in!

I had a bottle refuser exclusively breastfed baby even then I’d have just taken someone else with me, fed the baby right before getting out the car, gone to the appointment and then gone straight back to the car. Even a breastfed baby under 6 months can go 2 hours without a feed, plenty of time to attend a scan.

You must be one of those people who thinks you are the exception to the rule.

massively unreasonable may I suggest you go private for your care now please and leave the NHS to care for people who actually follow the rules and appreciate them

Are they refusing you antenatal care full stop? Can they actually do that? Even violent prisoners get medical treatment

Sounds ridiculous, I would go for the FOI request.

.

"Baby" is probably 7

How old is your baby OP? I understand if a few weeks old but anything over 4 months or so could definitely go an hour without being attached to the boob!

Can you not just call them and apologise because if not you’re going to need to refer yourself to a different hospital otherwise. I notice you haven’t said how old the baby is.
You can’t take children to scans even before Covid. You’re gonna have to leave the baby at some point, you can’t take the baby with you when you give birth. I’d suggest leaving the baby with your partner either in the car, somewhere else in the hospital or close by and just feed them before and after.

@MotherHubbard2020

I know myself it can be seen as irrational to never want to leave an exclusively breastfed baby and no doubt would’ve apologised if my appointment was rescheduled and I had time to think about the dispute but I haven’t been given that luxury.

It’s all been blown completely out of proportion with them refusing to deal with me for any future scans when I have agreed to express and leave baby to attend all future appointments and scans (to my utter turmoil as baby is refusing a bottle, even a special mamma teat bottle).

You are lucky they didn't phone the police. How old is the 'baby'? 7?

Well done for breastfeeding - which is what I think you want to hear since you mentioned it SO many times.

Nice avoidance of answering all the questions on here OP

How old is your baby?
Every letter I've ever received for scans clearly says no children so you did have the luxury to plan and think about it (and the fact you already have a baby suggests you knew this policy)

I'm sorry, I also agree you are unreasonable

Everything else aside, you really need to build an emergency/back up support network...yes even in covid times.

Many, many services do not let you bring babies or young children along.

Just also checking...is your baby exclusive breastfed? It's not clear from the OP?