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Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

673 replies

MotherHubbard2020 · 12/02/2021 13:43

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
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Hammonds · 13/02/2021 23:08

@user2021

How old is the baby *@MotherHubbard2020* ? I took my 8 month old to my 12 week scan with no problems. She just sat in the pram while I was scanned. This was pre-Covid though so not sure if that makes a difference.
Which happens a lot!

It must be covid P&P

But it still doesn’t get away from the fact a mother was turned down for a medical appointment because she had a child in tow - and people think that ok

HeyDW96 · 13/02/2021 23:16

Is this thread really still ongoing? Looking like the OP, or someone of a very similar mindset is riled. Is the OP a MN untouchable? 😂

TitusPullo · 13/02/2021 23:47

@HeyDW96 - oo conspiracy. Maybe they are and thought that translated into real life scenarios too.

MsHedgehog · 13/02/2021 23:57

@Hammonds Even if we give OP the benefit of the doubt and assume she didn’t know her baby wasn’t allowed to come, and putting aside the fact that her baby is at the very very least, 6 months old (no way the baby can be younger), the normal response would be to rearrange. Instead, she was so aggressive and / or abusive about the situation that security was called and the department refuse to see her again. She brought the refusal to see her on herself.

Flalamingo · 13/02/2021 23:59

The OP did have childcare, she left older toddler with someone!
She's not a hard up single parent, she's an entitled know it all who has thrown her toys out of the pram, because someone dared to say no to her.
If she's that bothered, go and have a private scan, take as many people as she wants there , and stop badmouthing the NHS.

justilou1 · 14/02/2021 00:17

Basically, with your baby you have one agenda - to breastfeed him/her.
Hospital has MANY agendas for their no children policy in ultrasound department - including, but not only stopping spread of Covid. If you have to go in for emergency surgery as a result of your scan, who takes the baby? There is nobody there to do so? They can’t admit a healthy child into a hospital and risk the baby getting hospital-acquired infections. Then there is the emotional fallout too. Some women require medical sedation as a result of their reaction to the news of a ultrasound. What happens to the newborn then? Sometimes a pregnancy isn’t a pregnancy, but a malignant tumour. A home pregnancy test shows a positive result, and then you don’t know until the scans show differently. Because of the hormones produced, these things grow quickly and need immediate treatment.
There are so many things you don’t understand, but hospital policies don’t exist simply to discriminate against any single demographic - they exist to protect people.
As far as any complaint made, you won’t have a leg to stand on. You ignored a very clear instruction. Come alone - Don’t bring children. It’s not that hard.

RuledbyASD · 14/02/2021 00:19

@Perpetualheadache

People only think of themselves sometimes.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Who's loss?
RuledbyASD · 14/02/2021 00:22

@JumperooSue Bf mums and babies need to be together for the first few weeks

OP's baby is considerably older than a few weeks, she's 3 months pregnant!

bumbledeedum · 14/02/2021 00:25

@Flalamingo

The OP did have childcare, she left older toddler with someone! She's not a hard up single parent, she's an entitled know it all who has thrown her toys out of the pram, because someone dared to say no to her. If she's that bothered, go and have a private scan, take as many people as she wants there , and stop badmouthing the NHS.
Not sure she will, most private scans are strictly no children either at the moment.
RuledbyASD · 14/02/2021 00:30

@loopyapp

So .. My baby is nearly 10 months old and he has only just (in the last few weeks) at a point in his weaning on to solids for me to be able to leave him for a few hours.

I would absolutely consider him to be exclusively breastfed.

However the OP does state that the baby is in a carry car seat.. My boy has been too heavy for those now for a few months and hes in the 50th centile.. Think some of you are just enjoying being judgemental and nasty.

That said OP.. All your paper work and signs all over the hospital clearly state no children are permitted.

You're obviously not a stupid woman, I think you assumed the "EBF card" would be a sneak around the rules and you got caught out.

Odds are you weren't this person's first .. Or even tenth attempting this and given their quick leap to security assistance I'd wager they've had someone be aggressive.

I don't know what the way forward is here. I would initiate a SARS regarding the information documented about the incident and initiate correspondence with PALs.

That's absolutely ridiculous. 10 months? (On advice from Paediatrician) My child was fully weaned onto solids at 4 months. 3-4 meals per day. 3 bottles.
beelzeboob · 14/02/2021 00:45

I’m a sonographer and I was chatting today with one of the reception staff at how unreasonable and entitled a lot of patients are right now. Shouting and swearing at staff because they can’t bring their family in. Literally telling the staff to go fuck themselves.
For a hospital to refuse to scan you from hereonin are you sure you weren’t just a little bit shouty / sweary?

PFin · 14/02/2021 00:55

As unfair or wrong etc you might think it is, the hospital have a policy of no children for a reason and therefore those being treated in the hosptial have to stick by this policy. An exclusively breast fed baby isnt an excuse, you can leave an EBF baby for a few hours so is no excuse to break hospital policy and bring him/her along.

I would try and rectify the situation with the hospital and maybe try and register at your next closest hospital? Id also get myself booked in for a private scan just to try and get the basic information. But be warned I have had private scans and they are also not allowing children at appointments so be prepared to be refused the scan if you bring your other child along.

Hope you get sorted OP.

Gem176 · 14/02/2021 01:28

Ok I'll bite....

  1. Scans are a medical procedure. Just because they are part of maternal care does not mean they are required to be child friendly. Ask a surgeon if your baby/child can attend your biopsy... you'll be told no. Same rules apply here.

  2. The NHS do not refuse to treat patients except in exceptional circumstances involving extreme aggression and violence. Staff can't just say "nope, didn't like her attitude, we are refusing treatment" it just wouldn't be upheld or allowed. So the mere fact you have been refused care shows you were massively in the wrong. There are processes in place to refuse care and this decision is not made by just one person. Just what did you do?

  3. You can say exclusively breast fed as much as you want, it makes no difference! See point 1.

  4. Age of child is also irrelevant because, again, see point 1. Although I'm going to guess above 6 months as if baby was below that you'd have said by now to try and ran home your point about exclusively breast fed and why you are such a special case.

You were a grade A ass hat. Completely unreasonable. I'm glad they took a stand against you and your self entitlement. Go private, the NHS as an institution deserves better from its patients.

lucyrp · 14/02/2021 07:04

Just pay for your own private scans. You've made your bed now lie in it.

Inkpaperstars · 14/02/2021 07:10

I really do wonder what OP is going to do about breast feeding if she is admitted for observation or if she has to wait in triage for hours, let alone at the birth. To be honest I think once you knew you were pregnant OP you should have been getting whatever asisitance you needed in place to help your ebf baby accept a bottle sometimes. Easily said I know and I am not unsupportive of the wish to ebf at all, but the fact is you know you are quite likely to be away from the baby for some extended periods soon and baby will need to be able to get food!

Ginfordinner · 14/02/2021 07:49

@RuledbyASD the advice these days is not to wean babies before 6 months. Your point here is irrelevant.

grey12 · 14/02/2021 09:17

@Gem176 you're comparing an ultrasound scan with a biopsy?! How about we compare to a visit to the GP. No scalpels or cutting instruments in sight. Shall we force people now to get childcare whenever they need to visit the GP?! Because it may distract the doctor?!!!

WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot1 · 14/02/2021 09:24

@lucyrp

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thesun.co.uk/news/6945788/pregnant-mum-banned-taking-children-baby-scan-nhs/amp/
Oh no. This must be fake. As the people who know better are saying it's only due to covid and the OP wouldn't have known.

Not like it's been in place for over 2 years.

Ginfordinner · 14/02/2021 09:37

That article is dated 2018

brunetteonthebus · 14/02/2021 09:59

Returning after a few days.... has the OP been back and told us how old her toddler baby is yet?

Thatwentbadly · 14/02/2021 10:08

@MotherHubbard2020

Of course it’s about breastfeeding, I brought my baby because he’s exclusively breastfed and I’ve never been apart from him plus he doesn’t take a bottle. I didn’t bring my toddler to the scan because I AM able to leave them and I understand why children are generally not allowed at scans. My argument is that discretion should’ve been utilised and the aftermath is a complete overreaction! I’ve just found out the lady to deny access on the door was the Superintendent Sonographer, obviously had too much of an ego to listen to a coherent argument put forward by a patient in front of her inferiors.
Her inferiors?!
Analysethat · 14/02/2021 10:27

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Nith · 14/02/2021 10:50

I don't understand what OP was proposing should happen to the baby while she was being scanned. Was some lucky staff member supposed to hold her, or was she going to be put in a push chair and fingers crossed that she didn't kick off?

Acovic · 14/02/2021 10:50

I work in a hospital.

I have had multiple difficult conversations with families over the last few months about why we cannot bend the rules for their “special” circumstances.

We have horrible strict visiting rules in place. They are not what we want to offer but are necessary due to Covid. We have to limit exposure to staff, patients and other visitors. Restricting the number of people in the building is an important way to do that.

Virtually every family can argue that they are special in some way. So in order to keep it fair the senior staff are trying extremely hard (and I’ve had some really toxic discussions) to enforce the same rules for everyone.

It isn’t fair that family A gets exemptions because they argued harder. Or simply tried to turn up & manipulate the system on the day.

Everyone working in the hospital knows life is really difficult at the moment, we are living it too. We also care a lot about our patients. But treating everyone equitably is important.

It is also incredibly hard to get yourself banned from NHS care. I have known patients who have assaulted staff still very offered ongoing elective care.

So I strongly suspect we are not getting the full story from @MotherHubbard2020.