Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

[MotherHubbard2020]

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

Talk to pals and submit a freedom of information request

The NHS see around 15 million patients a year and op if you think you are so special that they will change their rules and regulations just for you then you are delusional and should be very ashamed of yourself.
The staff have enough abuse on a day to day basis as it is and with Covid thrown into the mix this has left most NHS on their knees and many are experiencing great stress atm. They really don’t need people like you kicking off like some sort of entitled diva.
And if your child is attached to you so much so that you can’t leave him for a half hour appointment then you have made a massive rod for your own back.

@Ginfordinner

That article is dated 2018

Exactly ...

@grey12 yes I am comparing them. Both require concentration from the medical professional carrying them out as they are diagnostic procedures and neither are as minor as a visit to your gp to discuss a simple uti/cold/whatever-other-common-or-garden-medical-complaint-you-have. GPs generally even have a box of toys to distract small children with. Hospitals are not the same. As I said scans are part of maternal care but that does not meant they have to be child friendly. Hospitals are not the place for babies/small children never mind in the middle of what is essentially a bloody plague!

[quote Ginfordinner]@RuledbyASD the advice these days is not to wean babies before 6 months. Your point here is irrelevant.[/quote]
As already stated, I was advised by a Paediatrician to wean my daughter at 4 months, therefore YOUR point is irrelevant

There is no way we are getting the full story here. It is really hard to get banned from nhs premises unless OP was abusive or violent. Plus if she’s 12 weeks pregnant then older child must be old enough to not need to be constantly attached to the breast. So partner couldn’t sit with baby in the car for an hour?

@Gem176

Ok I'll bite....

1. Scans are a medical procedure. Just because they are part of maternal care does not mean they are required to be child friendly. Ask a surgeon if your baby/child can attend your biopsy... you'll be told no. Same rules apply here.

2. The NHS do not refuse to treat patients except in exceptional circumstances involving extreme aggression and violence. Staff can't just say "nope, didn't like her attitude, we are refusing treatment" it just wouldn't be upheld or allowed. So the mere fact you have been refused care shows you were massively in the wrong. There are processes in place to refuse care and this decision is not made by just one person. Just what did you do?

3. You can say exclusively breast fed as much as you want, it makes no difference! See point 1.

4. Age of child is also irrelevant because, again, see point 1. Although I'm going to guess above 6 months as if baby was below that you'd have said by now to try and ran home your point about exclusively breast fed and why you are such a special case.

You were a grade A ass hat. Completely unreasonable. I'm glad they took a stand against you and your self entitlement. Go private, the NHS as an institution deserves better from its patients.

This (claps enthusiastically)

You have a toddler at home so there was someone to look after your child. Your scan is no longer than 15 mins plus your other bits it takes an hour.

If your worried about leaving your baby for one hour then that blows my mind. Don’t have anymore children.

It clearly states no children on the letters. There’s always one who thinks the rules don’t apply to them.

Obs scans have always been no children allowed even pre covid times. The sonographer has to scan and comment on things that could dictate future treatment. If they get it wrong who do you think gets the blame?
Any kids with the mother are a distraction, you're there for a medical procedure it's not a day out.
Why do you think that these rules apply to everyone else but not you. That's rather entitled, everyone gets treated the same that's called fairness.
Threatening to involve other people to get the rules bent for you is hilarious, the trust has a policy. No consultant unrelated to your care would ever want to be seen to involved in something so petty, it would damage their reputation.
Stop being so silly and take responsibility for your own life you are being v. Unreasonable.

Gutted to come back and catch up and find out we STILL don't know the age of the baby.

Am gunna stab a guess and say the baby is 34 and is actually her husband. Oohhh plot twist.

@rosegoldivy

Gutted to come back and catch up and find out we STILL don't know the age of the baby.

Am gunna stab a guess and say the baby is 34 and is actually her husband. Oohhh plot twist.

OP was never going to tell us. It would ruin her indignant rage when we discovered baby was actually 2.

@doadeer that lady says she isn’t breastfeeding.

Where has the OP gone?

Any kids with the mother are a distraction, you're there for a medical procedure it's not a day out.

Who said it was a day out? it is usual more of a "I'm not leaving a 1yo alone at home because there's no one else to take care of them" kind of arrangement. I'm a SAHP. If DH has to look after the kids is time off work and money not coming in to feed/clothe/take care of such kids

But the op did say she left her toddler with someone so she did have childcare.

@doadeer

I don’t think it is, otherwise her toddler has aged significantly in the last few days! Along with not BFing. And that lady isn’t at the point of a dating scan/scan not in EPU yet.

Ahhh false alarm!!

It must be the way you spoke them OP I have an outpatient appt coming up and a young baby (8 months) who is bf, can’t be left as won’t take a bottle and has been delayed with weaning to solids and my appt is 3 hours approx they’ve said it’s absolutely fine to bring her - that I’ll be put in a side room and they were more than accommodating

I had actually called to cancel it as letter said come alone and when I gave reason why they were lovely

Did we ever find out the age of this baby?

I've been to every scan alone due to COVID and had one at 8 weeks as they thought I miscarried. If I saw a women with a baby, when I was on my own I think I would have broke down.

Do we really need to keep this thread going? It's taken about 600 posts slamming the OP, she's surely got the message.

It's just coming across as bullying now tbh, some of the messages on the thread cross the line and usually this is a really friendly supportive place.

If you can't support someone then let the thread fall away.

Please can someone read this all the way through and give me their thoughts - my mind is frazzled - it's a peer reviewed case study..

jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/article-abstract/2672728?redirect=true

Hope it works