Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

[MotherHubbard2020]

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

@katnyps does op breastfeeding a baby that could definitely be left as let’s be honest the fact she’s saying her menstrual cycle is off suggests she’s had a few periods and baby cannot be tiny, trump women getting news about miscarriages and birth defects?! I’m sure the last thing someone needs in that position is to hear a baby crying!
The scanning rooms aren’t big either and they need to concentrate whilst undertaking the scans without trying to work around a pram and a baby

@katnyps She was aggressive enough for security to be called and to be banned from the ultrasound department...

Regardless of whether or not breastfed babies can be separated from mothers for just an hour, that does not justify kicking up such a big fuss that a clinic in the NHS bans you and refuses to see you...

Bit of common courtesy maybe?

Sunshine - my kids are 12 & 13 and we definitely couldn't take the eldest in when I was being scanned for the second.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet

Get them involved how? What do you envisage they can do for you, have the rules changed because you're special?
Security would not be called on someone who is being completely calm and reasonable, they have better things to do.

I have encountered people who don't know how to tell the difference between "upset" and "aggressive". When that leads to someone applying "zero tolerance" it can be totally inappropriate.

I wish people were also taught how to recognise that someone is upset, and given some basic skills in attempting to de-escalate such a situation before reaching for the "I don't have to deal with angry people" nuclear button (which functions in the opposite fashion). I'm not saying I don't think zero tolerance of abuse is inappropriate, anything but - but the definitions and judgement of situations has gone way too far in some areas.

I also suspect that cultural factors have a substantial impact on how people express reasonable upset, and therefore arguments of racism could be applied. (Speaking as someone who presents as white British, but my upbringing was elsewhere)

I'm sorry, but even speaking as the mother of 2 babies who were EBF and who was never apart from my babies until I went back to work, I still think you were trying to make a point, weren't you, by turning up with your baby. You honestly could have taken your baby as far as the hospital door, given a quick feed and left him or her outside in a buggy with a partner/friend to push around and entertain for an hour or so. Just try to imagine how work down and stressed the NHS staff are currently. The letter states clearly no children - did you really expect one of them to look after your baby while you were scanned? And yes, women getting bad news at their scan do not want to come out into a waiting room and see you with your lovely, healthy baby. If things got to the point where they called security I don't think this was a respectful conversation where you agreed to come back another day, minus baby, was it? Are you sure, on reflection, that your behaviour was reasonable? And how old is your EBF baby if you are possibly 12 weeks pregnant already?! Really think all you can do is try to transfer your care to a different hospital, if you can, but otherwise you are going to have to write and apologise and promise not to think the rules don't apply to you next time.

@katnyps

I'm so surprised at people here saying you are being unreasonable - you totally aren't. You should ask for the hospital's policy on supporting admission of breastfeeding mothers / outpatient appointments. There is a big push in the NHS now not to separate mothers from breastfeeding babies (part of the initiative to increase the number of babies being breast fed) so I'm sure they will be monitoring PALS feedback.

So should OP hold a wriggling baby while she is being scanned or should one of the nurses be pulled away from their actual job to hold him?

@Username7521

Sorry OP, I am with the NHS on this one. My friend got told she had a missed miscarriage at her 12 weeks scans. It would be totally inappropriate to get that news with your baby there or being told that and walking into a waiting room with a baby in it. I am sorry if that isn't what you want to hear! Also, for security to be called I'd imagine your tone must have been off. NHS staff should be allowed to do their job without being verbally abused!

When I went for my scan at 12 weeks at the EPAU I had to access it via the general antenatal area where ladies were waiting for 20 week+ scans and then coming out to happily show off their photos. To access the EPAU I first had to join a queue where 99% of the ladies were checking in for there ordinary 20 week scan and explain in the earshot of everyone why I was there. Then after being told my baby was actually no longer alive and would have to be removed surgically I had to walk back out through the a General waiting area where again ladies were excitedly showing scan photos to family. I was supposed to go and join the queue again but I went home and organised everything Privately. I was so traumatised that when I got pg again I had my care transferred to a different hospital. Imagine there had been a newborn baby there as well

Do the FOI request, no way they're refusing anorher appointment unless their side is very different. E.g. you were aggressive and not wearing a mask. Is there another hospital locally that can do the scan?

I had to give up breastfeeding my baby when my husband ended up in a coma in ICU as children/babies weren't allowed in and I needed to spend hours at his bedside. It was unfortunate, but those were the rules. And that was pre covid. You should have called the hospital ahead to see if there was any wriggle room. They will have been very clear in their letter to you, know doubt. And you must have been pretty irate for them to have called security and for them to refuse to deal with you.

Even a tiny baby can be left with someone else for an hour or two. The scan doesn't take over an hour even if they're running a bit late. My sister works as a maternity nanny and lots of breastfeeding mothers have nannies who bring in the baby to be fed at night etc. They're not joined to you still. YABU. If you really didn't have a single person in the whole world who could provide an hour's childcare you should have phoned in advance to discuss, not just assumed you are special.

@katnyps not separating mothers from breastfeeding babies doesn’t mean they can take “babies” into scans, surgery etc. The 10-20 minutes of a scan are really, really not a separation....

Unpleasant sence of entitlement by the OP.

As to what to do now - I'd suggest asking to have your care transferred to a different hospital, on the basis that the trust has broken down. Then ask for another scan and be much more respectful this time.

Surely your baby is old enough to be left for the time of your scan? I have BF fed 2 babies with no bottles but generally I fed at particular times a day and would have arranged any appt. to suit or adapted our feed times accordingly. But then I think that milk is for feeding not comforting every emotion a baby goes through in the course of a day. If they let you in then other mums see and want their kids, BF or not, my child might get sad when I'm at my scan...... I have more sympathy for the lady who's husband will be away and she has no childcare.

I read the OP eyerolled and knew this woman Will have taken a 3/4/8 year old to the appointment rather than a 3month old baby.

HOW OLD IS YOUR "BABY" LADY?

Its not even a covid thing is it? I had a baby in 2018, so long before covid and it stated on my letter that no children were allowed at the appointment.

Unless your baby is under 6mo then they will not be EBF, and even if your baby is under 6mo then you could have left them for a short time to go to your scan, even if someone was waiting with baby in the car - you'd have been in and out pretty quickly. Possibly call the Antenatal unit and apologise and ask if they can move forward

I see you invoked the “duty of care” and “denied care” as well as the “exclusively breastfed baby”cards at them. Well done for trying to play top trumps when you knew you were in the wrong.

Very surprised you didn’t pull the “against my human rights” card out of the pack. Are you saving it for later when you want your mum, your aunty who is like a mum to you, your partner and your partners mum all in the delivery room?

@Hoppinggreen I’m so sorry for you loss x

YABU! It's made clear you can't take a baby with you. Why should they make an exception for you but not someone else? If you couldn't find childcare you should have rescheduled.
You can leave an ebf baby for 1 hour. Surely your baby doesnt feed more than every hour!? Can baby eat solids yet? Like yoghurt?
I dont mean to be rude but if you're having another baby you're going to have to learn to leave your baby with someone else.

I'm so sorry that they discriminated against you and your child.
No you cannot leave an exclusively breastfed child and the radiographer should have respected that.
Everywhere in GPs and healthcare settings it says "we support breastfeeding" I would contact your la leche Legue for references etc.
The good news is that it isn't recommended to have a scan unless the baby/you have concerns over health/symptoms.
The other good news is that you can discharge yourself from a hospital's care and go somewhere else. So go to a different hospital that respects the mother/child bond.

Is an exclusively breastfed baby different from a breastfed baby?

Letters clearly advise you cannot bring anyone with you to scans including children.

You brought yours anyway.

I know you think you're special because your baby is exclusively breast fed. That isn't the case.

Hospitals are high risk fir catching covid. They have a responsibility to reduce the number of risks to unavoidable only.

Your baby should not have been with you.

When that was pointed out you should have apologised and rescheduled.

You didn't, you continued to push as you are a 'special case' because your baby is 'exclusively breast fed'. You aren't a special case and many babies are breast fed, they still don't belong in hospital unless they are the poorly ones.

You were out of order and that had resulted in you being refused future service.

Perhaps and apology and clear demonstration that you understand that you were out of order may result in a change of heart from the radiology department. If not you will need to request a referral to another hospital for your scan.

I had to bring my child to my 20 weeks scan during covid as my dh is a long distance lorry driver and I'd literally no one who could mind him. I phoned the hospital beforehand and explained everything and they were OK with it with foresight.

When I had to go to a and e with mastitis recently I was told no baby with me. She was 5 months old and ebf
They told me I had to leave and come back and have someone sit in a car with her and then if I was admitted she couldn’t stay with me . I told them no I wasn’t leaving and to find me a side room immediately and then to either put me in maternity or discharge me with an iv in and I’d come back for antibiotics WITH my baby (totally ebf and unable to take a bottle at all due to allergies and bottle refusal). They were not happy but backed down