Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

[MotherHubbard2020]

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

It does state on letters that, no children are allowed. EBF or not you should have arranged for someone to look after said child, even if that meant in the hospital car park, it would only have been for a short time. I imagine you must have kicked up a real stink for them to call for security.
I do struggle to sympathise tbh. You should go through the steps the midwife has told you to in an attempt to get back in their good graces or try another hospital for your care. Do not repeat your mistake with expecting them to break policy to accommodate your child. NHS staff deserve for patients to make every effort to comply with the rules.
In the meantime, you could try booking a private scan to confirm gestation, like the NHS they do not allow children present.

Why couldn’t you have left the baby outside with someone?
Did you call beforehand to let them know you didn’t have childcare?

If u can afford a private scan meanwhile u sort out things, thats what I would do.
Any chance u can attend a different hospital or even go to A&E and from then they will follow u. And maybe bring someone with u too mind the baby for short period of the scan

Yab completely u

For heaven's sake there's a pandemic on. The health service has quite enough to worry about without pandering to the demands of entitled people.

Also, who did you expect to hold your baby during the scan?

There’s no where to put a baby during a scan and in any hospital I’ve been in they don’t allow prams.

You would be lying down for nearly an hour. How could you attend to baby during that?

You’d be better leaving baby with someone who can at least give it a cuddle and a rock if it needs it

@RoseAndRose

It sounds like it is a gynae scan, not a pregnancy one, and you are unlikely to get results of those on the spot.

You were completely unreasonable, OP. You can leave babies, including EBF babies, for the time it takes to get the scan done. I know it's harder to arrange for someone to do thus during a pandemic, but is there no-one in your household/bubble who could make themselves available for this?

OP has mentioned that the scan was to date her pregnancy.

You could have left the baby in the car with your partner OP. You were unreasonable. Only thing you can do is ask to transfer your care to a different hospital.

They called security?
No way were you calm, polite and reasonable.
You kicked off, didn't you?

Policies are in place for a reason, not just for the fun of it. You come across as sounding self-entitled.

Whoops - eyes had jumped over words in the opening post and I thought she was attending a scan with her 12 week old EBF baby because of menstrual issues. Sorry!

(Don't think that makes any difference to my second paragraph though)

I know someone who is always bemused when people get upset with their behaviour. They have always been quite calm and simply stated their case, etc. The reality is that they've lost their temper and become quite threatening, even without being aware of it.

EBF isn't a reason for taking a baby to scan - so what was the reason?

(Yes DS was ebf and I attended scans without him - DH had to rearrange stuff and my IL's watched him once).

YABU. Who would have held your child whilst you were having a scan? What if your child played up whilst you were having your scan. You wouldn’t have been allowed to feed your baby during your scan, what did you expect?
Is there anyone who can help so you can rearrange and rebook?

How old is the baby?
Did you receive a letter advising that you were to come alone, and then give them a call to see if there were other options? Or did you just assume that they'd treat you as an exceptional case?
Do you think that maybe in the heat of the moment you might have become a bit agitated and they became defensive?

I’m glad people are commenting there must be more to this if they called security because there definitely wasn’t. I asked for her name, asked her to make a note on the record to say they had refused me care, I hadn’t refused my own care and she turned to a colleague and said just call security. Just shows how unreasonable it was.

YABU

Do you think the rules don't apply to you because you are breastfeeding? Presumably if this a 12 scan then your "baby" is over 6 months age in which case it shouldn't be EBF....🤷‍♀️

Anyway how did you expect to lie on a bed and be scanned with a baby in tow which is likely to cry / want to be held / generally be distracting - these are medical appointments not family days out.

You should have arranged childcare

Imagine being told at a scan that your baby is dead and going outside to see some selfish entitled fucker there with her baby demanding the rules to be changed.

Our health board also clearly states that during Covid women are to attend alone and explicitly says no children. We have a 3 year old and no family within 200 miles so it's been a logistical challenge to enable me to attend all my consultant appointments and scans so far but we've just had to make it work. When I was last there I saw another lady with her 8 year old son being told she couldn't have her scan with him there and she definitely wasn't being calm about it. I'm sorry you were obviously distressed by this OP but equally you can't be an exception to the (very valid rule). Could your husband not wait in the car beforehand and then you feed your baby just before going in? In any event as harsh as it may sound if your child has to wait 20 minutes for a feed so that you can attend the scan it won't harm them in the long run at all. Hope you manage to sort this so that you can receive another scan x

I suspect it could be argued that you refused care by refusing to comply with their reasonable and explicit requirements.

OP, how old is your baby? Could your DP not have waited in the car with them?

I think you need to contact PALS unless you want to go to a different hospital instead. Is that a possibility?

@springdale1

You need to call PALS, I will need to take my baby to my scan soon - my husband is deployed and we have no close family that can look after her. Sometimes they have to use some common sense.

My husband is military. He got time at home to look after our other 5 when I went for my dating scan. There are people who can fight your corner on these matters within the service, you just need to find out which one to speak to.

@Lalapurple

How old is the baby? Is there someone who can go with you and hold the baby outside while you go for a scan? I think there should be discretion as there will be women who literally have no options for childcare. How old is the baby?

Does seem unreasonable if they have barred you from coming back...

Maybe the Consultant Obstetrician can hold the baby

Did you get pregnant when your baby was weeks old? So your baby is less than 6 months. If not, you are very unreasonable.

Someone could have taken your baby for a while. Even if it was outside in the car or something.

Ask your immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician to pay for your private scans, write a letter apologising for taking a baby to an appointment it clearly says don’t take a baby too.

Honestly, admitting you are in the wrong is the first step.

It’s an absolute pain not being able to take babies into scans, I had to do all mine scans alone because my dh had to look after the other children, as many women have to. You’re not the first women with this problem, although you do seem to feel special.