Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

[MotherHubbard2020]

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

How old is your baby? It's standard rules to not have children at scans. And as a pp said, imagine being told your baby had died and there is a woman kicking off in the waiting room because her ebf child can't leave her side for 5 mins whilst she is scanned. Yabu. Surely someone else can watch the baby whilst you are scanned. What will happen in labour?

I exclusively breastfed but I'm sure I could time feeds and my son could've held on during a scan. How old is your son?

Idk, rules are rules. My son isn't bf anymore he's 16 months and hasn't been able to attend scans but had he still been breastfed, I'd of just times his feeds around the scan or expressed and had someone give it to him.

This doesn't seem right, 12 weeks scan - so even if you conceived straight away - which is rare with an EBF baby, the baby would be at least 3/4 months old... old enough to be left for 30 minutes/1 hour with a trusted person.

And I EBF both of mine until they were 6 months old they NEVER took a bottle - they hated them no matter how much we tried

What makes you think that you are above the rules?
Ebf is a joke of an excuse and you do a disservice to all ebf mother's who do manage to go about this self same thing without drama.

I think you need to offer a grovelling apology.

we need to know how old the baby is first. was it just you and the baby? where was your partner?

@mummabubs

Our health board also clearly states that during Covid women are to attend alone and explicitly says no children. We have a 3 year old and no family within 200 miles so it's been a logistical challenge to enable me to attend all my consultant appointments and scans so far but we've just had to make it work. When I was last there I saw another lady with her 8 year old son being told she couldn't have her scan with him there and she definitely wasn't being calm about it. I'm sorry you were obviously distressed by this OP but equally you can't be an exception to the (very valid rule). Could your husband not wait in the car beforehand and then you feed your baby just before going in? In any event as harsh as it may sound if your child has to wait 20 minutes for a feed so that you can attend the scan it won't harm them in the long run at all. Hope you manage to sort this so that you can receive another scan x

Blimey! An 8 year old could probably wait in the waiting room for half an hour...

Of course I don’t know what happened at your appointment and who was right / wrong.....but the NHS have zero tolerance for aggressive behaviour from patients

I know myself it can be seen as irrational to never want to leave an exclusively breastfed baby and no doubt would’ve apologised if my appointment was rescheduled and I had time to think about the dispute but I haven’t been given that luxury.

It’s all been blown completely out of proportion with them refusing to deal with me for any future scans when I have agreed to express and leave baby to attend all future appointments and scans (to my utter turmoil as baby is refusing a bottle, even a special mamma teat bottle).

Cant you breastfeed baby just before you go and again as soon as you get back if you find somebody to leave them with? How old is the baby that they can't go a couple of hours?

Did the correspondence from the hospital state children could not attend? This is key for me. If it did then you were wrong, regardless of the breastfeeding position.

If it didn’t then I would make a complaint through PALS.

Sorry OP, I am with the NHS on this one. My friend got told she had a missed miscarriage at her 12 weeks scans. It would be totally inappropriate to get that news with your baby there or being told that and walking into a waiting room with a baby in it.
I am sorry if that isn't what you want to hear!
Also, for security to be called I'd imagine your tone must have been off. NHS staff should be allowed to do their job without being verbally abused!

@MotherHubbard2020 could you move your care to another hospital, or trust?

How old is baby?

You are being ridiculous. Your baby isn’t newborn and should be able to go a couple of hours without a breastfeed.

@MotherHubbard2020 you state I hadn't refused my care but in reality you refused your care the minute you disregarded the information on the letter inviting you for a scan that clearly states no children allowed. There are no substitutes for that, not breast fed children, not because you haven't got childcare. No children allowed. Simple.
Also, we've been in a global pandemic surely you wouldn't want to subject your child to a hospital environment for the sake of 30 minutes max 🙄

@ScottishStottie

There is obviously waay more to this than you're letting on...

How forcefully were you trying to convince them to let you in...?

Agree.

Everyone knows HCPs have zero tolerance for aggression, they deal with it day in and day out and shouldn't have to. And whilst you were kicking off they were getting behind on their clinic.

I bet if you had had to pay for the scan you would have found some childcare, even if someone sat in the car with the baby for an hour in the hospital car park.

I've had two ebf babies who wouldn't take a bottle and was never able to leave them, so I understand your stress but you just can't bring children to scans, especially now. Your DP minding the baby in the car or walking the buggy around outside was the best option here.

Also the point about it not being the most sensitive place to bring a baby is valid. I had a MMC diagnosed at a private early scan. While we were being ushered into the tiny bad news room while the clinic referred me back to the NHS, an adorable toddler was playing in the waiting room. Now fortunately she was the same age as DD1 and reminded us of her, but I remember thinking it would've been heartbreaking if we were trying for a first baby.

If you don't want to ever be in a situation where you never have to leave your BF baby (entirely your choice) then don't put yourself in one! You get pregnant then you need medical appointments that your child cannot attend. You know this. So you need to accept that for a very short period, you will need to leave your child.

You haven't answered the many people who've asked how old the child is? I would have more sympathy in the unlikely event that it's 3/4 months old. I suspect it's much older as you're pregnant and if it's over 6m then it'll be having some food anyway so it's not ebf!

Are you deliberately not sharing how old your baby is? Because if they're over 6 months they won't only be breast fed and should be eating and sipping water - which should sustain them long enough for you to attend your scan alone.
As people have pointed out, it's not appropriate to take your baby to the scan and in all correspondence I ever had regarding scans it was made abundantly clear not to bring children and babies.

Seems rather heavy handed to call a security guard to remove a pregnant woman holding an infant, who is simply asking for her notes to reflect the truth of a situation. I would file the freedom of information request and make sure any inaccuracies (e.g. like claiming you were threatening staff) in your file are corrected, so they don't hinder future medical care.

In the interim, try to get a scan done at another hospital or, if you can afford it, have your scan done privately.

How old is your baby?

It would be VERY rare that the department would refuse a patient for any further scans AND contact security when you said there is nothing more to this.
I work in the NHS and it is very rare that people are declined further input unless there is a very good reason aka you were aggressive.
I find it very hard to believe that your weren't aggressive as even through these comments you are coming across as being aggressive.
I also think we get the point that your exclusively breast feed.

YAB completely U, and you could say that by disregarding the conditions laid out for the scan (no children allowed, etc) that you did refuse care.

How old is your baby?

No children at scans isn't a new thing. It's nothing to do with COVID. It's standard practice.