Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

[MotherHubbard2020]

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

@Hammonds

Some of the reptiles on here are horrible and go much further than just replying to some one on a thread. If you feel that you have to be nasty, scathing or aggressive maybe you need a break from MN or take moment to actually look at what your posting and if your actually say it to some ones face. Some of you are actually trolling the OP yourselves.

Whisky it might be a troll but it also might not be and your post is awful. Do you speak like that to people in RL?

The OP is deliberately ignoring people who are asking her a question.

Regardless of whether true or not, she should provide this information and not ignore it over and over.

Yes, if someone behaved like the OP in real life, I would respond in such a way.

I felt my comment may be a bit harsh, but it's relative to the information given.

As many others have, on this thread, I had an MMC not long ago and could only imagine having to witness this argument in the hospital. I struggled enough with the babies in the EPU on my follow up appointments. Also, what would I have done if I had an EBF child with me and was given that news at the scan! Especially with the surgery to follow. It doesn't bear thinking about.

But OP is allowed to ignore all these points and just repeat that her EBF "baby" (of undisclosed age) should be allowed in but not actually explain why!

Really don't think whiskey's comment was horrible, just matter of fact. The OP is clearly either a troll or an unreasonable time waster. The age question remains unanswered hundreds of posts in - what can possibly explain this except the two scenarios above?

@troisieme

Really don't think whiskey's comment was horrible, just matter of fact. The OP is clearly either a troll or an unreasonable time waster. The age question remains unanswered hundreds of posts in - what can possibly explain this except the two scenarios above?

Thank you!

I can't believe I went through this while thread and we still don't know the age of the baby.

OP yabu, especially if the baby is older than the months or so. I don't think sonographers randomly log incidents without good reason, there must be pretty involved.

As for 'turmoil' at your baby not taking a bottle, give me a break!

@troisieme

Really don't think whiskey's comment was horrible, just matter of fact. The OP is clearly either a troll or an unreasonable time waster. The age question remains unanswered hundreds of posts in - what can possibly explain this except the two scenarios above?

The age is actually irrelevant. She had her child with her for an appointment and she was refused access to the appointment and then banned. ( this is only point I think is suspect as the midwives/nhs do have a duty of care to ensure that baby has a 12 week scan to do the nuchal translucency screening. Midwives and sonographers encounter hostile behaviour all the time ( not ok but it happens as with most hospital departments) but they push through because of the medical importance to the health of the child - and mother. A complete ban is very rare, which usually involve physical violence and then that’s at a push.

However - my recent experience of sonographers is that there is a lot of tension because of current covid situation to the point many are threatening early retirement after covid has been sorted so I can see a fuss being made.

But posters can demand all the questions they like doesn’t mean the OP has to answer. There are no ‘rules’ about obeying information requests. And if the OP doesn’t want to answer questions because possibly they are being hammered it doesn’t mean that posters can just ramp up the hate. I t might be a troll or it might be a vulnerable young women who hasn’t come across well.

I’ve had miscarriage, I’ve had two eptipic pregnancies and multiple rounds of IVF. Yet I knew when I went in to hospital especially Gynae I’d most likely encounter children. It’s not the parents fault they are there, some people can’t just get rid of children. Petition the hospitals for better divided departments, our clinics Gynae consultants are based in one department that encompasses women’s health. It’s not the mothers fault if she has to take her children and other women have been booked in for a other circumstances.

Agree with @WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot1

The rules are clear. It appears OP chose to ignore them wrongly banking on the hospitals having to give in if she simply turned up with the baby,despite having left a toddler with a third party.

Having taken that risk, the hospital didn't bend to her will. The OP states she then asked the staff to explain their reasoning (!!) when they had no obligation to do so whilst alleging they were breaching their duty of care to her. Even on the op's own narrative she comes across as entitled and unreasonable. Given they called security and have refused care I strongly suspect the incident was far more serious than the op has described.

The reasons for the rules, people being distressed, risk of covid is frankly a red herring. The bottom line is the hospital has rules and if people want to access the treatment then they need to follow the rules. The baby being ebf isn't a sufficient reason and could have been worked around by the op for the reasons stated in other peoples posts.

When I was pregnant with #3, both my older children came to multiple scans with me. They were 7 and 5 at the time.

I doubt that would be allowed to now IndecentFeminist

@handsforfeet great advice to call 111.

For all you bored posters waiting to tell op lovely things like that she’s ‘entitled’: assume she gives any of these answers:
-6 months,
-12months
-14 months

and think of the lovely, understanding replies you’d give.

Yes absolutely, different times. This was 2017. I only mention it because a few posters appeared to think it was unheard of full stop.

Most of you clearly only had 2 scans. If you’re ever high- risk and waiting in he hospital for 6 hours to get through all your appointments, every fortnight, you might start to get it.

@okokok000 may have just put it better than me. Follow the rules or ask beforehand for an exception. Don't think you're special because you're doing something that many others are also doing.

@Greenmarmalade - my pregnancy was high risk. Scans every two weeks, bloods, urine etc every time, extra consultant appointments, large trust. I was never physically in the hospital for more than an hour from beginning to end. It’s a pandemic, they are trying to do as much as possible by phone and get you in and out as quickly as possible. 6 hours is not the norm.

I did spend 6 hours in the hospital the other day but that’s partly the point...OP can never know when she will have to go in and for how long, it could be days or more and dc will not be allowed on the ward.

I think you need to accept OP that certainly when it comes to a normal visit like this, you can’t currently take the baby in. You are just going to have to work around that. If someone can look after the baby nearby you may be able to nip out to the car to feed.

Why they reacted as strongly as they did re future care is a mystery to those of us who weren’t there but you need to try and build bridges or get transferred. Just due it from a position of accepting the current rules, or I think it just won’t work. In the meantime you can get a private scan and if you are in pain that worries you then you must go to the hospital and get checked out. If you explain that you are ebf and have a baby being looked after in the car or wherever then they should be able to give you an indication of when you can nip out if there is a long wait.

What do you plan to do at the time of birth? Will your baby still be ebf then? Unless things change a lot by your due date no children are allowed on wards.

@Greenmarmalade

Most of you clearly only had 2 scans. If you’re ever high- risk and waiting in he hospital for 6 hours to get through all your appointments, every fortnight, you might start to get it.

All the more reason to get childcare....poor kids being put through that

My DD was fine. I was knackered looking after her, but that’s life. I didn’t have childcare on tap, and it’s not cheap.

@Greenmarmalade

My DD was fine. I was knackered looking after her, but that’s life. I didn’t have childcare on tap, and it’s not cheap.

If you can’t afford occasional childcare then you can’t afford another child

@Greenmarmalade

Most of you clearly only had 2 scans. If you’re ever high- risk and waiting in he hospital for 6 hours to get through all your appointments, every fortnight, you might start to get it.

Last pregnancy, I was scanned at least once a week but sometimes more. In for daily monitoring for most of my final six weeks. I still don’t agree in the slightest with the OP.

@Greenmarmalade

My DD was fine. I was knackered looking after her, but that’s life. I didn’t have childcare on tap, and it’s not cheap.

So don’t have kids you can’t afford

@troisieme

Really don't think whiskey's comment was horrible, just matter of fact. The OP is clearly either a troll or an unreasonable time waster. The age question remains unanswered hundreds of posts in - what can possibly explain this except the two scenarios above?

I agree.

OP is either a troll/time waster/entitled arsehole. Accusing the NHS staff of failing in their "duty of care" when it was OP's own failure to follow simple guidelines, and referring to the Senior Radiologist's colleagues as "her inferiors" make me think that OP definitely one of the above. Most likely the third option.

[quote Greenmarmalade]@handsforfeet great advice to call 111.

For all you bored posters waiting to tell op lovely things like that she’s ‘entitled’: assume she gives any of these answers:
-6 months,
-12months
-14 months

and think of the lovely, understanding replies you’d give.[/quote]
My reply would be the same, leave the baby with someone.

This was meant to be a 12 week scan. This means that the ebf baby is 3 months old at the very earliest. By that age, they can be left with someone long enough to attend an appointment. Even if this means feeding them in the car, then leaving them there with someone else who travels with them for the duration of the appointment, then feeding again once out of the appointment.

I, too, had ebf babies, and this was how I managed those appointments while the baby was ebf. It's not rocket science.

And now? By trying to insist baby came into the appointment, despite firm information in advance that children were not allowed in, OP is jeopardising this pregnancy all by herself.

That the hospital is now standing by their decision not to allow her to have a scan there means that this incident is far more serious than OP is telling us. Hospitals don't often go to that extent, they'll generally suck up poor behaviour from someone because they'll be dealing with the medical need.

If OP has called the hospital and been told she could bring her baby and the refused when she got there I could understand her dilemma. She chose to take her baby believing that she was an exception to the rule. They don't just have security turn up for no reason at all. Why do people think they are above requests?

I know the NHS say zero tolerance on abuse towards staff but in my experience they put up with a hell of a lot before actually turning someone away let alone banning them. If this is true so much more happened than the OP has said.

Oh ok we are on to

‘If you can’t afford child care you shouldnt be having kids’

What a lovely thread. I love the posters calling OP a troll whilst actually doing the same thing themselves. Keyboard warriors at their finest.

I don’t work for the NHS but I work within it. Taking children to appointments is pretty common. If a new covid policy has come in to place then it’s up to the department to inform the patient.

@Hammonds

Oh ok we are on to

‘If you can’t afford child care you shouldnt be having kids’

What a lovely thread. I love the posters calling OP a troll whilst actually doing the same thing themselves. Keyboard warriors at their finest.

I don’t work for the NHS but I work within it. Taking children to appointments is pretty common. If a new covid policy has come in to place then it’s up to the department to inform the patient.

The patient in this case did know in advance the no-children policy, she was able to leave the toddler with someone else, after all. She just didn't want to leave her baby with someone, despite the policy. She clearly had childcare options available.

And while your area of the NHS may allow children in, that doesn't equate to everywhere in the NHS. I can see very good reasons why the maternity scanning department wouldn't want children there.