Gay Midwives

[LozzaT12]

Hi everyone, I’m a first year student midwife, I’m female and I’m attracted to women. I’m so grateful to have gotten my place at uni, never been happier, and I can’t wait to start my journey.
However, in the past few months I’ve spoken to old friends from school and many were shocked that someone who is gay is going into this profession. Many people have said it’s as weird as having a male midwife, some have straight up called it a bit creepy and that they would request someone else.
I’d never thought about it in any such way until this started and honestly it’s really shaken me and I want to know people opinions.
Would you not want me in the room? What comes to mind when you read this?

Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not interested in your sex life. Are your friends very young and silly? Get some new friends.

You need new friends.

Male, female, trans, gay. I couldn't give a hoot who you are when you're helping me through the most frighting and I let any day of my life.

Good luck in you career op

This is ridiculous. My former gynaecologist was a man (and as far as I could tell straight as he had a photos of his wife and children on his desk), I care about how someone does their job. Also, I don't think there's anything sexy about a baby's head crowning.

are they presuming that lesbians have some sort of male-type gaze or predatory sexuality? Weird.

As long as you delivered my baby safely, I wouldn't give a damn whether you were attracted to men, women or aliens.

I've had 2 babies and with all the midwives who took care of me I've never known or even thought of their sexuality.

What an absolutely ridiculous view they have!
When I had my first I had to go to theatre to have my placenta manually removed, the midwife that took care of me there while it was done was actually a friend of my sister who is openly gay, I was overjoyed to have her there holding my hand, being gay didn't even come into it.

@Branleuse

are they presuming that lesbians have some sort of male-type gaze or predatory sexuality? Weird.

"Male-type gaze"? Are you presuming all Male midwives are gazing at your vulva or have "predatory sexuality"? Weird.

Why would it mater if your gay or straight?

I was delivered by a gay midwife almost 39 years ago, my mum stayed friends with her as she also delivered my brother too.

I don’t remember knowing wether any of my midwives were gay or straight, how would I know? And why would I care?

Wow! I didn't ask my midwives sexual orientation as it is none of my business or nor do I even care and I am very grateful for the 3 men who helped safely deliver DD1 who managed to avoid an emergency CS and the 2 men who helped deliver DS1 during a planned CS.

Trust me my mind was 100% focused on my children during each appointment and during labour

You need new friends. Your sexuality has NOTHING to do with them or anyone else. If you asked me in advance I might have been OK with a male midwife in a delivery situation but would possibly request a female midwife for the aftercare of stitches and Breast feeding advice - but a gay or straight female midwife is an absolute non-issue. Your friends sound very, very immature - how old are they??

This OP is so out there that I wonder whether it's some ham-fisted attempt at saying

"oh well, if you don't object to lesbians treating you, how can you object to men/transwomen?"

Or maybe it's just that I'm really cynical.

Not at all as weird as having a male midwife. It isn’t weird at all. I’d refuse a male midwife, would have no issues with a lesbian midwife, it isn’t about sexual attraction. Labour is by nature, something women have always supported women with. It’s an instinct, primal.

I think your friends might have some underlying homophobia to be honest...

Isn't it funny that we live in a world where a transwoman can be Woman of the Year but a lesbian midwife should provoke such a reaction.

What have Stonewall been doing all these years with the tens of millions of pounds they've received?

WOW!! I really wouldn't think twice about it... your friends don't sound very supportive

It wouldn't occur to me to wonder what any Health care worker's sexuality is when being cared for so no it wouldn't bother me. Even if someone was obviously gay (maybe wearing a rainbow pin or lanyard or mentioned it somehow) it still wouldnt bother me in the slightest. As long as you're trained or in training to do what you're doing its none of my business!

Do your 'friends' get freaked out by straight male gynaecologists too?

I thought the issue with male midwives was that pregnancy and child birth are "women's business" and therefore it's inappropriate for men to be involved? (I don't subscribe to this view BTW)

How would the women even know that you're gay before you start delivering the baby? I wouldn't think to ask such a weird question if I was in labour...

Your friends sound thick. Find new ones.

You need new friends!! No doubt they have similar views about straight male obstetricians and gyneacologists. The most important thing to your patients is that you are professional, good at your job and can communicate well.

As pps also said, unless you mention your sexuality (or they happen to know you personally) I’m not sure how your patients would actually know?! Just like I didn’t know the sexuality of my midwives (or dentist, accountant, tax advisor etc...)

They are being really weird. It doesn't matter one bit. I've had loads of midwifes through my pregnancies and birth and have no clue about any of their sexual preferences.
Their comment about men going into midwifery is also weird, lots of men go into gynecological roles.

You need new friends! Why the hell does it matter. Some midwives are men too and plenty of obgyn drs are. Women want you to make them feel comfortable with you that's all, no one cares about who you live with. Best of luck with your training.

@FortunesFave

This person has NEVER posted on MN before and you're all merrily giving them birth stories. It's a troll and I don't care if it IS against the rules to say that.

It is odd that they've never come back to comment.

Bizarre that anyone would think to bring this up.

You need new friends!
It is totally irrelevant.

Your “friends” are narrow minded fools.

Besides the fact I wouldn’t expect to know a MW’s sexuality even if I did I wouldn’t care less. I can’t imagine any MW is going to be sexually attracted to women in labour.