Gay Midwives

[LozzaT12]

Hi everyone, I’m a first year student midwife, I’m female and I’m attracted to women. I’m so grateful to have gotten my place at uni, never been happier, and I can’t wait to start my journey.
However, in the past few months I’ve spoken to old friends from school and many were shocked that someone who is gay is going into this profession. Many people have said it’s as weird as having a male midwife, some have straight up called it a bit creepy and that they would request someone else.
I’d never thought about it in any such way until this started and honestly it’s really shaken me and I want to know people opinions.
Would you not want me in the room? What comes to mind when you read this?

If you really have “friends” who said this... then you need better friends. Good luck with your new career.

You need new friends.
Your sexual orientation has absolutely nothing to do with your job. When I was in labour, I didn’t care who was there as long as they were helping me and my child and actually, I think I saw more men than women. Ignore them.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest... I think if people have an issue with male midwives it's also got nothing to do with their sexuality, and everything to do with the fact they're male.

I wouldn’t care if my midwife was a big butch bloke, a gay man, a gay woman or a straight woman, as long as they gave me good care. I honestly don’t think anyone would care if you were a gay female in the profession, for a start how would the women in your care even know? Get some new friends and tell those ones to go back to the 1800s x

I take it your friends are quite young and haven't really had much experience of pregnancy or female gynaecological health. If they had they would know there is absolutely nothing sexual about your chosen career choice! Really though don't worry you're friends reaction is just quite immature and I think most women you would be dealing with would not give two hoots about your sexual orientation. Also great career choice in my opinion- good luck with your course and career!

What comes to mind when you read this?
WTAF, you need to get some better 'friends'. Your sexuality has nothing to do with your career choice and is in no way the same as having a male midwife, that's crazy. I'd have you as my midwife without a second thought, don't care who you f*ck.

I’m a midwife. I’d wager a guess you’re not going to be the only gay midwife on the labour ward.

The ones I’ve known.....nobody that I know of has ever had an issue. Either staff or women. I wouldn’t give it a minute’s thought.

All I cared about through my pregnancies was having someone to talk to and reassure me.

Then came the births and all I was concerned about was getting the baby out.

Midwifery is a wonderful profession, hard work I'd imagine. Good luck with it all and I agree with previous posters, you need new friends.

I don’t mind who looks after me in hospital, though I would prefer a woman for anything intimate such as smear tests or, obviously, childbirth. But her sexuality wouldn’t interest or bother me.

I couldn't care less. I judge people on how kind they treat me, their private lives don't concern or interest me. I'm also fine with male gyneacologists (although I fully support any woman who does ask for a female one).

As long as you come with pain killers and can help the watermelon out I would not care who came to help.

Honestly many OBGYs are males, don't see any reason why having a male or gay midwife would be an issue for anyone. A pregnant woman is hardly going to check your sexual orientation in labour.. during my C Section everyone in the operating theatre, including 2 midwives, 2 OBGYs and 2 anaesthetists had a full view of everything I had to offer and I couldn't care less.. I had my baby in my arms and that's all that mattered..

Your sexuality would not have any impact on whether I'd be happy to have you as a midwife. I'd also be happy with a gay or straight man. I'd want you to be calm, empathetic, and know your stuff!

Well done on starting your training and best of luck

Giving birth I’d want an empathetic,kind mw. Who can practice safely and put me at ease.
Your sexual orientation is of no relevance to your competency.
If other students continue to undermine you report it to Uni,it’s prejudice and bullying.
You don’t have to put up with this
It is ok if they’re asking open genuine questions, being inquisitive
It’s not ok if they are mean spirited and prejudiced

Finally HCP are drawn from society and reflect society, so sure you’ll have gay colleagues.

Your friends likely haven’t had a baby themselves. I can assure you that by the time it gets to that point most women wouldn’t care if you were a hippopotamus as long as you were capable. Being a midwife is about the connection you make with people who are really vulnerable. It has nothing to do with your sexuality.

FWIW I think it’s possible my GP might be gay - I don’t know, it’s none of my business. She’s an absolutely fantastic GP, and an expert in women’s health.

I see it’s school friends who are being mean & prejudical not uni students
Bin them, get shot of folk like this
I expect they’re immature and a big bit jealous

You got onto a hugely competitive course. It’s fierce to get a place on midwifery degree.well done ⭐️

Ahh if this post is for real, liberal feminism has a lot to answer for.

Trans rights activists frequently scold women who request female only services and spaces by saying that being vulnerable /naked around a fully intact transwoman is no different to being vulnerable /naked around a gay woman. So younger women are gaslit into thinking that sexual assault is about sexual attraction when in truth it is about power and is overwhelmingly committed by people who have male bodies, regardless of gender identity.

I would be perfectly happy with a lesbian midwife, doctor, nurse, hcp, smear tester, breast screener etc etc. I do ask for female practitioners. Not because, as liberal feminism argues, I think I am so insanely attractive that every male bodied practitioner will jump on me (I believe the phrase "magic vagina" was used here recently). But because I have a degree of ptsd from past events involving males.

Women, as a class, don't assault people. Gay women, as a class, don't assault people. Your presence should be felt no differently from any other female midwife.

All the gynaecologists I’ve ever seen are male. Most of the breast cancer doctors I’ve seen (who have carried out breast examinations on me) are male. I’m sure there’s numerous gay midwives out there also.

Also, does anyone in reality say to their midwife, ‘ excuse me, what sexuality are you?’

Ignore these ‘friends’ and go and have a great career.

Your friends are homophobic. Do they think gay men shouldn’t use the changing rooms either? Don’t give it oxygen.

I’ve had so many Male gynaecologist it’s unreal, I’ve never been bothered about them peering up my vagina so wouldn’t be bothered at all about you being a midwife.
Your friends don’t sound very nice.

The male midwife I know isn’t even gay! He just loves his job.

Your friends sound very very odd.
I wouldn't like a male midwife I don't think, but a female (born female) lesbian midwife would be absolutely fine.
You need new friends

I couldn't have cared less what gender my midwives were when you have a baby on the way out your on another planet 😂 But by your friends logic do male Dr's Gynecologist's and midwives automatically want to have sex with their patients too

I had a male midwife insert a clip onto my baby's head mid labour as my female midwife was newly qualified. I couldn't tell you if either one of them was getting off on seeing my fanny.

I also had a completely lovely, married to a woman, male gynaecologist who did internal examinations on me with Dh not only in the same room but no curtain pulled across because I didn't need privacy.

Every single person was professional, appeared to care and that was all I needed or wanted.

My sister is gay and married to a lovely woman. They comment on how as a female who likes men you are not attracted to all men and yet somehow people believe if you are gay you must be attracted to all people the same sex as you.

You need new friends, mature ones who don't think this shit.

I would like a midwife who is:
Friendly but firm
Understanding
Informative
Knowledgable
Approachable
Empathetic
A listener
Good at their job.