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Original poster

Gay Midwives

340 replies

LozzaT12 · 07/10/2020 00:21

Hi everyone, I’m a first year student midwife, I’m female and I’m attracted to women. I’m so grateful to have gotten my place at uni, never been happier, and I can’t wait to start my journey.
However, in the past few months I’ve spoken to old friends from school and many were shocked that someone who is gay is going into this profession. Many people have said it’s as weird as having a male midwife, some have straight up called it a bit creepy and that they would request someone else.
I’d never thought about it in any such way until this started and honestly it’s really shaken me and I want to know people opinions.
Would you not want me in the room? What comes to mind when you read this?

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imissthesouth · 07/10/2020 10:24

You need new friends, the only thing that would bother me about a midwife is that they're clean and qualified. Male, female, straight, gay who cares! Your friends sound bigoted

ivegonegreyfindingausername · 07/10/2020 10:25

I can only assume non of your friends have had babies because there is nothing attractive about having a baby. A sensual mixture of Sweat, blood, poop, mucus, amniotic fluids and if your really lucky a little vomit Grin

But on a serious note, I couldn't have cared less about who my midwives were attracted too, there gender identity, physical gender etc. The only thing I cared about was whether they were qualified for the job and could help me safely deliver my kids.
My birth plan specified I was happy to have students (best choice ever) I would hate to think people start specifying sexual preference or gender.
The worlds gone mad, your friends have gone mad!!
Ask them if they would care about there health care professionals sexuality in any other scenario!! Pretty sure they wouldn't give a rats arse if the person treating them was saving them and their unborn baby.

Carriemac · 07/10/2020 10:26

Sexual orientation of healthcare staff is their own business. However I would not have a male midwife.

imissthesouth · 07/10/2020 10:26

What @CharityDingle said
They won't know unless you tell them, it's really none of their business. I could see why people would have a problem with a male midwife, they can't hide they're male. Even if I suspected a midwife was gay I'd never make it clear or let it affect anything

CornflakeMum · 07/10/2020 10:30

Wouldn't bother me and I'm not sure how I'd know? I'd more interested in your professionalism, how you communicated, skills etc.
Good luck!

ChrisPrattsFace · 07/10/2020 10:34

One of my midwives was a man, he was excellent. I couldn’t tell if you if anyone of the females were gay.
I care about the professionalism, kindness and care you give, not who you’re shagging.

VivaMiltonKeynes · 07/10/2020 10:35

That is like saying I wouldn't have a male doctor help me give birth . Confused

Spidey66 · 07/10/2020 10:36

Weird.

What about a straight male gynae? Wouldn't that cause a problem according to your friends thinking?

m0therofdragons · 07/10/2020 10:37

I always find it interesting people would refuse a Male midwife yet doctors tend to be Male so with my high risk pregnancy it was always a man dealing with me except one time. Honestly the woman was so rough with my vagina yet the man had always been much more gentle but clinically appropriate.

I’m not sure a baby tearing through is ever a sexual thing.

contrary13 · 07/10/2020 10:37

Having given birth twice, with a selection of midwives in attendance, I couldn't tell you what their sexual preferences were. Because it simply never came up during our conversations. And even if they were gay? It wouldn't have mattered to me one bit.

What matters is that midwives support women in labour and during their healing afterwards. That's it. That's the important bit. Yes, you chat with your midwives... but I don't think it would ever be appropriate to demand to know their sexuality. Or for them to demand to know the labouring woman's sexuality!

Also, I know a male midwife who is heterosexual. He went into the profession because his mother almost died giving birth to his younger sibling, and he feels that this is his way of "giving back". Nothing "creepy" about it at all.

JM10 · 07/10/2020 10:40

I wouldn't expect to know my midwife's sexual original and if I did it wouldn't bother me.

Volcanicorange · 07/10/2020 10:40

Giving birth is hardly sexually attractive to female orientated onlookers.

Wouldn't bother me at all

lionheart · 07/10/2020 10:44

Yes, get some new friends and good luck with your career.

1990shopefulftm · 07/10/2020 10:45

It makes no difference to me what my midwifes gender or sexual orientation is, if you're good at your job and treated me with empathy that's all that matters.

nicknamehelp · 07/10/2020 10:46

most patients will never know as the conversation is about them not you and in all honesty if you are good at your job I wouldn't care.

PrivateD00r · 07/10/2020 10:48

Your friends are being seriously weird! I am a midwife. I do often chat about my family with labouring women, you are sometimes with them for a full 13 hour shift so of course you chat about your own life. I cannot imagine any woman you are looking after being in the least bit bothered. Please don't give this another thought. Good luck with your training Flowers

AfterSchoolWorry · 07/10/2020 10:49

I wouldn't give it a second thought. It's a non issue. Best of luck in your career OP 🍀

2bazookas · 07/10/2020 11:09

Really? Sounds like you're only a trainee lesbian. A proper one would have more respect for women.

Cantthinkofausename · 07/10/2020 11:11

Cant say Ive ever asked my midwives if they are gay or straight? How would anyone know lol!

IntermittentParps · 07/10/2020 11:19

Many people have said it’s as weird as having a male midwife

They're bigots on two counts then.
Get new friends.

drumst1ck · 07/10/2020 11:21

Couldn't care less about gender or sexuality as long as you can do the job. Once I was on gas and air I would have let half the world see me and not care I was so high...

LindaEllen · 07/10/2020 11:31

The reason I wouldn't be comfortable with a male midwife is nothing to do with the fact he might find me (and my labouring, torn genitals) attractive, but more the fact that he has never been through labour or any form of female reproductive process, therefore has only a clinical knowledge and no actual empathy. Of course, there's no guarantee that the females have actually given birth so it makes no sense really - but they're my thoughts.

A gay, female midwife wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Other than anything else, there's absolutely no reason for your sexuality to come up when you're dealing with your patients, and if for whatever reason it does, you can always say 'my partner' - not that you have to feel uncomfortable.

Honestly, you will do a brilliant job. Just go and enjoy it and don't worry about your sexuality getting in the way whatsoever :). You have an amazing career ahead of you!

Queenbee95 · 07/10/2020 11:32

I had a male doctor pull my placenta out with his hands, after he delivered my first born. I was 19 years old. I’m pretty sure a gay midwife wouldn’t phase me either.
A woman in labour is not going to care what your sexual orientation is, your friends need to keep their horrible opinions to themselves.

NancyBotwinBloom · 07/10/2020 11:47

Nope I wouldn't care.

It's none of my business.

DueNumberTwo · 07/10/2020 12:10

Your friends are idiots or perhaps have a lot of growing up to do?

I would usually opt for a female for any intimate care if possible. I couldn't care less what sexuality they are though. I would prefer a gay female to a gay male for instance.

As it was there was about 7 men and 7 women in the room when ds was born, he was delivered by a man as he was the most senior person on duty and it was a tricky delivery.